My stepfather died in January and I considered him more of a dad than my biological father, who left more than 30 years ago. While helping Mom sort through paperwork, we noticed that we could not find the appropriate documentation for his military service—we wanted it to secure a service plaque that you see on grave markers. My stepfather fought in Vietnam and been wounded there. I contacted Veterans Affairs, the school he said he attended on the G.I. Bill, and enlisted the assistance of our U.S. senator’s office, all to no avail. My stepbrother, his biological son, also did research at the National Archives. We both discovered that while our father was in in the reserves, it appears that he never served in Vietnam. Of course, I feel that it is in extraordinarily bad taste to lie about this. However, I choose to continue to think about my dad in a positive light as he accomplished much in life and saw to his responsibilities, including taking care of my mom, me, and my brother (who has special needs). I gently told my mom about what my stepbrother and I discovered. She said she is going back to the VA to have them try another search. I think it’s normal that she would want to exhaust every resource in her quest to prove his story. But I’m afraid that she’s ultimately going to have come to terms with the fact that he told people a whopper. Do you think that I should sit down with Mom to tell her to face facts or let her continue on an apparent wild goose chase and reach the realization in her own time?