A Little Different Honeymoon Resgistry - Thoughts?

arkielady

I'm a long time lurker on these boards, as most of my friends have gotten engaged/married in the last few years, and I've learned a lot from reading the various posts on here. This weekend, while Facebooking, I saw a former classmate's (public) wedding website, which he had posted on his wall for all his friends to see (I'm not close enough to him to be on the invite list). In checking it out, I came upon the "Honeymoon" tab, and the attached picture is what I found.

In case the link doesn't work, they essentially made a home grown Honeyfund, listing 10 or so activities they would like to do on their honeymoon, along with their estimated costs, and have a form that anyone who wants to buy or contribute to one of these activitiesc can fill out and then they can "make arrangements for them."

So I wanted to get your ladies' thoughts on this; they cut out the middle man and the fees, but they're still basically asking for money on a website everyone in the world can see. Better than a Honeyfund? Or still rude as all get out?

Sidenote: There was also a Regstries tab with two more traditional registries linked.

KatieinBkln

It's still not great. Ultimately it's asking for cash and that is rude.

lilacck28

Honestly, PPD's and honeyfunds by themselves usually don't offend me. I don't find them exactly tasteful, but they just don't bother me that much, and with some PPD's... I even get it. 

But... posting your registry on facebook for everyone to see including non invited guests? that's gross. 

PrettyGirlLost

It's still begging for money for a glorified vacation, so it's still rude.

Zhabeego

It's gross.

bethsmiles

I'm just curious - What if there was a honeymoon registry site that made it so you actually got vouchers for the activities and not a check? Would that make it more acceptable?

ashleyep

bethsmiles said:

I'm just curious - What if there was a honeymoon registry site that made it so you actually got vouchers for the activities and not a check? Would that make it more acceptable?

Opinions on this are mixed. I personally don't think I'd mind if I could buy an excursion through Sandals or Disney or something. But some people feel that honeymoons are very personal things and that you shouldn't ask for your guests to contribute to them. However, a fund that went to paying for your floating hotel room in Bora Bora? Hell no.

jerkyanne

ashleyep said:

bethsmiles said:

I'm just curious - What if there was a honeymoon registry site that made it so you actually got vouchers for the activities and not a check? Would that make it more acceptable?

Opinions on this are mixed. I personally don't think I'd mind if I could buy an excursion through Sandals or Disney or something. But some people feel that honeymoons are very personal things and that you shouldn't ask for your guests to contribute to them. However, a fund that went to paying for your floating hotel room in Bora Bora? Hell no.

Disney's Honeymoon registry is just like a honeyfund.  Not actual activities, you get a check minus the fees.

ashleyep

jerkyanne said:

ashleyep said:

bethsmiles said:

I'm just curious - What if there was a honeymoon registry site that made it so you actually got vouchers for the activities and not a check? Would that make it more acceptable?

Opinions on this are mixed. I personally don't think I'd mind if I could buy an excursion through Sandals or Disney or something. But some people feel that honeymoons are very personal things and that you shouldn't ask for your guests to contribute to them. However, a fund that went to paying for your floating hotel room in Bora Bora? Hell no.

Disney's Honeymoon registry is just like a honeyfund.  Not actual activities, you get a check minus the fees.

I think I knew that. Or found it out. But if that scenario did exist I would support it. I know not everyone else does.

climbingsingle

Don't like it. 

NYCMercedes

Just terrible.

thisismynickname2

On top of everything else, I don't like it when people have a regular registry AND a honeyfund.  

I understand that these funds became popular partially because people were marrying later in life, had everything they needed and thought, "Well hey, cash for our honeymoon would be more awesome than random silver picture frames!"  

It's this added element of, "Not only do we want fancy kitchen supplies, we ALSO want a fancy honeymoon."  Something about that rubs me the wrong way.  

blabla89

I guess it's a little better in that Honeyfund isn't taking a cut off the top (7% or whatever) - but it's still asking for money, still terribly rude. Plus, how do you even do that? "Gee thanks Grandma! Just give me your credit card number so that we can pay for our wedding "gift" and we'll be all set"...?

lilacck28

blabla89 said:

I guess it's a little better in that Honeyfund isn't taking a cut off the top (7% or whatever) - but it's still asking for money, still terribly rude. Plus, how do you even do that? "Gee thanks Grandma! Just give me your credit card number so that we can pay for our wedding "gift" and we'll be all set"...?

I guess you could give grandma the number of the place to make an appointment for massages or whatever? 

yeah, I'd prefer a check. much easier. And I can use it for student loans OR my (hopeful!) future house. 

beethery

thisismynickname said:

On top of everything else, I don't like it when people have a regular registry AND a honeyfund.  

I understand that these funds became popular partially because people were marrying later in life, had everything they needed and thought, "Well hey, cash for our honeymoon would be more awesome than random silver picture frames!"  

It's this added element of, "Not only do we want fancy kitchen supplies, we ALSO want a fancy honeymoon."  Something about that rubs me the wrong way.  

We want fancy kitchen supplies that we did not deem important enough to buy for ourselves and we are also shitty planners who can not figure out oh btfw we need to budget for our vacation like grownups!!!!!!!!!

That's it smacks of wrong. GIVE US MONEY BECAUSE WE CAN'T FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT FOR OURSELVES lol

ShallowSeas

No one is entitled to a honeymoon. I don't get why people think its okay to ask others to pay or help pay for it.

I mean, I really wanna take a vacation this summer but I'm certainly not going to ask for my family and friends to help pay for it.

offensivekitten2

Asking for cash is gauche, no matter how you dress it. I give cash when I want and in the amounts I want. Micromanaging me like that is rude.

bethsmiles

flantastic said:

bethsmiles said:

I'm just curious - What if there was a honeymoon registry site that made it so you actually got vouchers for the activities and not a check? Would that make it more acceptable?

Somewhat, but generally it's still a matter of being asked to pay for someone else's luxury vacation when you may not be able to afford one for yourself.

But with a more traditional registry aren't you asking to buy a blender or mixer or whatever else that they may not be able to afford for themselves? 

I don't like honeymoon registries, I think they are tacky because it's just getting cash but if you didn't get cash, if you actually got a voucher for what people paid for I just don't see it as being that different. Of course, it doesn't really matter since as far as I know nothing like that exists.

sophhabobopha

Still no.

alpacalunch

No, thank you.

Also, a bike tour at sunrise? ANYTHING at sunrise? Don't see the appeal.

blabla89

@severmilli12 you and me both. Let's set up a GFM and spam the boards with it!

jules3964

bethsmiles said:

flantastic said:

bethsmiles said:

I'm just curious - What if there was a honeymoon registry site that made it so you actually got vouchers for the activities and not a check? Would that make it more acceptable?

Somewhat, but generally it's still a matter of being asked to pay for someone else's luxury vacation when you may not be able to afford one for yourself.

But with a more traditional registry aren't you asking to buy a blender or mixer or whatever else that they may not be able to afford for themselves? 

I don't like honeymoon registries, I think they are tacky because it's just getting cash but if you didn't get cash, if you actually got a voucher for what people paid for I just don't see it as being that different. Of course, it doesn't really matter since as far as I know nothing like that exists.

I don't know. It seems like registering for something tangible, which could be deemed as a necessity, is different than registering for a luxury vacation. Nobody needs a luxury vacation. You could argue that nobody NEEDS a blender, but the gift-giver could see that as something useful that would be used for a long time.

I think it would also be more difficult to find reasonably priced voucher items for the vacation. I would kinda feel uncomfortable asking people to buy a $200 massage. Which brings me to another thing that irks me about honeymoon registries — when you can buy a portion of something in $25 increments. Just seems tacky.

soontobemrshamilton

I just found out about honeymoon registries last summer when I went to a few weddings. I didn't think any thing of them. It was a gift and we applied some money towards an excursion. I was even thinking of it for our wedding, but now I see how most people think it's tacky. Now I'm sad because we can't have one!! Don't want to be tacky!

Inkdancer

This, to me, is worse than a Honeyfund. At least with usual HM registries you just put it on a shower invite. But putting it out on FB basically begs everyone you know to fund your vacation. Blech.

APDSS22

bethsmiles said:

flantastic said:

bethsmiles said:

I'm just curious - What if there was a honeymoon registry site that made it so you actually got vouchers for the activities and not a check? Would that make it more acceptable?

Somewhat, but generally it's still a matter of being asked to pay for someone else's luxury vacation when you may not be able to afford one for yourself.

But with a more traditional registry aren't you asking to buy a blender or mixer or whatever else that they may not be able to afford for themselves? 

I don't like honeymoon registries, I think they are tacky because it's just getting cash but if you didn't get cash, if you actually got a voucher for what people paid for I just don't see it as being that different. Of course, it doesn't really matter since as far as I know nothing like that exists.

A traditional registry is more "if you want to buy us a set of towels, here are the colors and fluffiness that we prefer" a honeymoon registry is more "we want cash in various amounts."  If someone gives you a check for $40 you can put that toward a zipline tour or a couples massage or swimming with the dolphins and you can cover the rest yourself if it's not enough.  You can't really get half a towel or blender. 

I don't look at it as helping pay for a luxury vacation that otherwise might not be afforded, I look at it as registering for various amounts of cash that may or may not be used for the listed activities.  What if the couple get to Hawaii and decide they don't want to wake up for a dawn bike ride on a crater high enough to be cold?  If I had written them a check they could spend it on whatever they wanted and that would be okay because I gave them money.  If I gave them a voucher for swimming with the dolphins and they didn't go, I'd feel like they lied to me to get a higher amount of money from me.

LondonLisa

No matter how you dress it up, it is begging for cash. It is shameful to beg, but especially when you are not truly in need. Now I feel like some people on here (such as people who do honeyfunds, cash/ gift card registries etc) really do not care and have no shame. It just tells me you are willing to sell your dignity with 9.5% commission, which is vulgar and sad. 

I see it no differently than having an upturned cap "alms for the poor" on a street corner with a sign that says "for honeymoon, please help" whilst everyone you know walks by. I would be so beyond embarrassed, and so should they, so I really have no idea why people keep bringing this up. 

buttercup1958

Does anyone else find it ridiculous that all the things they want are at least over 150 dollars? On top of the other stuff they register for? I find that it adds to the tackiness but thats my opinion.  

Jen4948

Not a fan. Unfortunately, I found out a couple of months ago that some of my relatives are. Ugh. I thought they had more class.

pinkcow13

Tacky.

photokitty

chrisandcait said:

No, thank you.

Also, a bike tour at sunrise? ANYTHING at sunrise? Don't see the appeal.

ANYTHING? NOTHING?? Are you there's not something, a little somethin' sumtin', you'd like to do at sunrise??

alpacalunch

photokitty said:

chrisandcait said:

No, thank you.

Also, a bike tour at sunrise? ANYTHING at sunrise? Don't see the appeal.

ANYTHING? NOTHING?? Are you there's not something, a little somethin' sumtin', you'd like to do at sunrise??

Nothin I need other folks to pay for