DR. said I was overweight oh my god

VulgarGirl

lyndausvi said:

According to the CDC 2/3 of the US population is overweight.    Eating disorders aside, at what point is a doctor allowed to tell a patient they are getting overweight?  Being overweight posses a lot of problems for many people.    If a doctor can keep someone who is only 5 pounds over weight from getting 50lbs overweight then I think that is a good thing.  It's a fact that losing 5 lbs or NOT gaining an additional weight is much easier than trying to lose 20, 30 or more pounds.

Now in larrygaga's case being told is a trigger.  So this is were full disclosure to a doctor is important.   Weight can be important regardless of the doctor's specialty.   If they know about an eating disorder they should be able to communicate appropriately. 

But there's better ways to tell if someone is overweight not based on BMI. BMI takes into account two things, height and body weight. Now FI is 5'3 and weighs right around 115lbs. Per her BMI, totally healthy weight. Her best friend is also 5'3 but weighs in at 145lbs, which puts her in the overweight BMI category. Except, best friend does weight lifting (like competions and stuff) and has a ton of muscle. They actually have the same body fat percentage and that is in the healthy range for their age, gender, and height. 

BMI also doesn't always account for male or female (I've seen some that do and some that don't, but I'm on the US Department of Health and Human services using theirs, and it doesn't). Females naturally carry extra body fat. And we're supposed so that we can procreate and then feed the offspring. 

I want a doctor who is going to look at my over all health. Ask me how I'm eating, asking me about my physical fitness, do a blood draw, talk to me about making healthy choices and give me tools to help me.  Not just "According to this chart you're overweight, fix that, try weight watchers kthanksbye", that's not looking at me as an individual. 

lyndausvi

JCbride2015 said:

 

lyndausvi said:

According to the CDC 2/3 of the US population is overweight.    Eating disorders aside, at what point is a doctor allowed to tell a patient they are getting overweight?  Being overweight posses a lot of problems for many people.    If a doctor can keep someone who is only 5 pounds over weight from getting 50lbs overweight then I think that is a good thing.  It's a fact that losing 5 lbs or NOT gaining an additional weight is much easier than trying to lose 20, 30 or more pounds.

Now in larrygaga's case being told is a trigger.  So this is were full disclosure to a doctor is important.   Weight can be important regardless of the doctor's specialty.   If they know about an eating disorder they should be able to communicate appropriately. 

I think doctors should talk with their patients about weight when it becomes relevant to their health in a concrete way. So if you are at risk for diabetes or sleep apnea or whatever, yes. If your BMI is a little high but all of your metabolic signs are healthy, no. 

Larrygaga's doctor obviously crossed the line. Larry is at a healthy weight and the exam was not even related to her weight in any real way. 

FTR, Larry, my BMI is the same as yours and a doctor recently mentioned weight to me. But it was an appropriate context. He is a rheumatologist who had just told me I have a joint condition, and keeping my weight down throughout my life will help with the joint pain. It wasn't, "better watch that BMI," it was, "be aware that carrying extra weight will directly affect your health in this specific way." If my gyno said what yours said, she could GTFO. 

Also FTR, I think @jenna8984, you were out of line posting what you did.  Not because it's horrible to stray from the OP's situation on any post, but because Larry shared that she has issues with eating and the doctors comment was upsetting to her. Knowing she is recovering from an eating disorder, it was very insensitive to post about how doctors should tell patients they are fat "but this doesn't apply to you." Well of course it does, if you're posting it on her thread. Even if you dont think it directly applies to her situation, it did come off that you are saying maybe she needs to hear it.  You had to know, or should have considered, that your post would be a trigger for her and others who are recovering. 

Please listen to your doctor.  My mom is 150lb overweight and has RA.   She was not diagnosed until she was already overweight.    It's been hell for her.  The RA is much worse with her weight. Her asthma that wasn't diagnosed until a few years ago is also worse because of her weight.    

However, back when she was getting heavier and heavier she didn't have these problems.  Which is why I assume doctors didn't talk to her about her weight.   By your logic the doctor should only speak about the weight issue if it's relevant in a concrete way.  Well, hind sight says even though it might not be relevant at that moment, it might be relevant in the future when it could be too late.

My DH is also obese.   Last July he had pain in his stomach.  Went to the doctor, while doing test they found he has a heart aneurysm.  That was not the cause of his symptoms, we were just lucky they found it.   They do not operate on this unless it's over 5cm.  DH's is 4.5.   Doctor told him because of his weight the recovery will be much harder and longer.   So far it has not grown and DH is trying to loose weight.  

Again, you do not know what the future holds.  His weight didn't seem like a relevant issue years ago, but I'm telling you it's an issue right now should he have to have open heart surgery on the aneurysm.     Just because there doesn't seem like connection now, doesn't mean there isn't a connection in the future. 

JCbride2015

@lyndausvi Yes, I definitely plan to listen to him! My point was this is an example of when the doctor absolutely should say something, even if in my case it's mostly a warning for the future.  I would like to take off 5-10 vanity pounds, but my body fat is in the healthy range and my weight does not fluctuate. So I plan to do everything I can to stay healthy-- I know it is so much harder to take weight off than to keep it off in the first place. I'm lucky I'm starting from somewhere manageable. 

Of course if you are having a regular physical and you are seriously overweight to the point it would start affecting your health (even if in the future), your doctor should definitely say something.  There's definitely a tipping point where the weight itself is a problem. But 25 BMI is not it. 

emmaaa

buttercup1958 said:

emmaaa my old family doctor did everything too. She had tact though so we would discuss everything first and then get the exam done. I've asked her before what would be healthy and unhealthy weight for my body, family history, ect. Last time I was there she said I was ok but make sure I eat healthy. So my old doctor comment on my weight but then again I ask her too and I did it before I drop my pants.

@buttercup1958 You are definitely right that any time weight is discussed it should be done tactfully. My doctor is great about that when it comes to weight and other personal issues, unlike the OP's doctor. I like that she covers all of my medical appointments.

buttercup1958

@emmaaa I love my doctor but I moved 5ish hours away to go to school. It took me a couple appointments to get use to her but she is always professional and answers all of my questions nicely. So I'm always debating whether to try and find a new one or just drive there during breaks. I broke down and made an appointment with a new dentist that lives around here. Hopefully, it will be ok! @larrygaga maybe you can ask your friends and coworkers for a referral?

lyndausvi

MagicInk said:

lyndausvi said:

According to the CDC 2/3 of the US population is overweight.    Eating disorders aside, at what point is a doctor allowed to tell a patient they are getting overweight?  Being overweight posses a lot of problems for many people.    If a doctor can keep someone who is only 5 pounds over weight from getting 50lbs overweight then I think that is a good thing.  It's a fact that losing 5 lbs or NOT gaining an additional weight is much easier than trying to lose 20, 30 or more pounds.

Now in larrygaga's case being told is a trigger.  So this is were full disclosure to a doctor is important.   Weight can be important regardless of the doctor's specialty.   If they know about an eating disorder they should be able to communicate appropriately. 

But there's better ways to tell if someone is overweight not based on BMI. BMI takes into account two things, height and body weight. Now FI is 5'3 and weighs right around 115lbs. Per her BMI, totally healthy weight. Her best friend is also 5'3 but weighs in at 145lbs, which puts her in the overweight BMI category. Except, best friend does weight lifting (like competions and stuff) and has a ton of muscle. They actually have the same body fat percentage and that is in the healthy range for their age, gender, and height. 

BMI also doesn't always account for male or female (I've seen some that do and some that don't, but I'm on the US Department of Health and Human services using theirs, and it doesn't). Females naturally carry extra body fat. And we're supposed so that we can procreate and then feed the offspring. 

I want a doctor who is going to look at my over all health. Ask me how I'm eating, asking me about my physical fitness, do a blood draw, talk to me about making healthy choices and give me tools to help me.  Not just "According to this chart you're overweight, fix that, try weight watchers kthanksbye", that's not looking at me as an individual. 

I've already said that larry's doctor was a tool.   And I agree that BMI is not the be all end all of healthly weight.

I'm just replying to people who think doctors should only respond when asked or if it's "relevant".   She went in for a pap smear and weight should not be discussed.  I do not agree with that.  Some people only go to a doctor when they are sick  or only use a specialty doctor.  Without proper dialog these things are often missed.  The may assume that their regular doctor has already discussed the issue, when in fact there is no regular doctor.      That includes full disclosure over eating disordered, so doctors can appropriately handle the situation. 

When I was in St Thomas we had to get a food handler's health card once a year.   You had to drop off a stool sample.  Then go in and have your blood pressure taken.  I'm like WTF?  What does my blood pressure have to do with handling food.  Answer?  Nothing.    However, many people do not have regular doctors.   They have saved many people from high blood pressure and other things associated with that simply because they were able to diagnose the problem.

Sure weight is not an emergency like blood pressure, but never taken care of it can be an issue in the future. 

 In larrygaga's case and with her history this doctor handled the situation wrong.  But that does not mean the subject in general should be taboo for everyone.  A good doctor will take the information, patient history and everything else and figure out a more appropriate way to talk (or maybe not talk) about the subject of weight.

lyndausvi

JCbride2015 said:

@lyndausvi Yes, I definitely plan to listen to him! My point was this is an example of when the doctor absolutely should say something, even if in my case it's mostly a warning for the future.  I would like to take off 5-10 vanity pounds, but my body fat is in the healthy range and my weight does not fluctuate. So I plan to do everything I can to stay healthy-- I know it is so much harder to take weight off than to keep it off in the first place. I'm lucky I'm starting from somewhere manageable. 

Of course if you are having a regular physical and you are seriously overweight to the point it would start affecting your health (even if in the future), your doctor should definitely say something.  There's definitely a tipping point where the weight itself is a problem. But 25 BMI is not it. 

My point was that my mom didn't know of her condition until she was overweight (she use to be skinny, then after she quit smoking about 20 years ago she blew up).   Not knowing meant the doctor could not say when she had a BMI of 25 "well in 20 years when you find out you have RA gaining more weight is going to be an issue".   You have the benefit of knowing about your condition and doing what you can to not make the symptoms worse.  

 I would like to think if my mom had the insight that 20 years later she would be diagnosed with RA she would have taken better care of her body so her symptoms would not be as bad.   Subject was taboo, she was in denial.  Now she is in a vicious cycle.   RA flareups are so bad she sometimes can't move.   Not moving means she is not losing weight and might even be gaining.   Her weight has put so much stress on her knees she needs a scooter and is getting knee replacement next month.     Dad being out of town and her unable to stand for long periods of time makes her go out to eat.    Around and around it goes.  

Anyway I digress.   I'm not saying 25 is overweight, but it could mean you are moving in that direction.  Assuming there are not disorders and other issues I'm fine with a doctor letting people know they are on the higher end and maybe it's time to take a look at your diet and activity levels.  Maybe it will keep people from going even higher up the scale. 

Again, there is no doubt larrygaga's doctor was inappropriate in her case.  But I do not think the weight subject should be taboo for all.  There are appropriate ways and inappropriate ways to talk about the subject.  With a population of 2/3 overweight people it seems like the subject are being ignored until it's too late.

theartistformerlyknownas

lyndausvi said:

Again, there is no doubt larrygaga's doctor was inappropriate in her case.  But I do not think the weight subject should be taboo for all.  There are appropriate ways and inappropriate ways to talk about the subject.  With a population of 2/3 overweight people it seems like the subject are being ignored until it's too late.

Totally agree with this. IF AND WHEN it's part of an overall system of HEALTH and not just medicine. Where every provider has access to every aspect of your health and can use that knowledge to pinpoint the sources of things... Larry's doc shouldn't have said anything without knowing her full background, but in cases where the full background is known and something like a rapid weight gain can either be indicative of another problem or a cause of something else, it should be discussed. Still not with a prescription of Weight Watchers though... when my blood pressure was out of control year ago, it was my gyn who caught it because I didn't have a GP. She didn't suggest blood pressure medication - she took me off my BCP which can increase stroke risk, and talked to me about my stress. I quit my job and boom, back to normal. When I finally did see a GP, I was all stressed out again, my weight was approaching overweight and I was feeling really shitty about it and life and wanting to drive in front of semi trucks. Instead of telling me to go on a diet, she checked my thyroid to make sure that wasn't to blame, talked to me about how stress and mood could affect my motivation to work out and how not working out could affect my mood (and obviously was affecting my weight), ended up putting me on meds for anxiety and depression. But it takes a much more comprehensive look at a person's health to truly provide care... if a bucket is leaking you don't refill the bucket, you check for a hole. That's what Larry's doc is missing and I think what Jenna was suggesting. Sometimes an awkward conversation is necessary to get to the root of a problem.

Still go by my initial reaction of "fuck that." This specific situation, if she had no other reason to think a 5lb weight gain was a problem, she shouldn't have brought it up. If you were 20lbs under when she last saw you and now you're 5 over, that's not a matter of Weight Watchers, and is probably cause for a bigger conversation about other things than weight. But no, she just deserves the ol' heave ho. Let's go have pie.

Aray82

offensivekitten2 said:

I had a doctor recommend WW once to me when I wanted a thyroid check due to family history. I was maybe 15 lbs overweight. I never saw that bitch again.

Good for you being proactive about your thyroid! Thyroid problems and even thryoid cancers are so common in women now that I've had mine out I've been telling everyone I know to get theirs checked out. If you're thyroid's out of whack ain't no WW or any other program can help with that. Not surprised that she leaped to that unfortunately...in my experience it seems like docs have become so hyper-specialized that they can't think of much else beyond their own areas or the same solutions they've always posed.

Aray82

I'm amazed that with everything we now know about bmi and muscle being more dense than fat, the health care industry still focuses so much on weight alone. My mom was successful with WW but she started it when she was borderline obese and just needed to start feeling good enough to exercise at all. Now she just does strenght training and eats a well-rounded diet. If you wanted, you could try upping your protein to build muscle and feel more full, or add a little more cardio...but you're already lifting weights and at a pretty healthy bmi so I I wouldn't do anything extreme. And most importantly, you already know that you need to give yourself positive affirmation, which affects everything from stress levels to eating!

Aray82

lolo883 said:

lyndausvi said:

Again, there is no doubt larrygaga's doctor was inappropriate in her case.  But I do not think the weight subject should be taboo for all.  There are appropriate ways and inappropriate ways to talk about the subject.  With a population of 2/3 overweight people it seems like the subject are being ignored until it's too late.

Totally agree with this. IF AND WHEN it's part of an overall system of HEALTH and not just medicine. Where every provider has access to every aspect of your health and can use that knowledge to pinpoint the sources of things... Larry's doc shouldn't have said anything without knowing her full background, but in cases where the full background is known and something like a rapid weight gain can either be indicative of another problem or a cause of something else, it should be discussed. Still not with a prescription of Weight Watchers though... when my blood pressure was out of control year ago, it was my gyn who caught it because I didn't have a GP. She didn't suggest blood pressure medication - she took me off my BCP which can increase stroke risk, and talked to me about my stress. I quit my job and boom, back to normal. When I finally did see a GP, I was all stressed out again, my weight was approaching overweight and I was feeling really shitty about it and life and wanting to drive in front of semi trucks. Instead of telling me to go on a diet, she checked my thyroid to make sure that wasn't to blame, talked to me about how stress and mood could affect my motivation to work out and how not working out could affect my mood (and obviously was affecting my weight), ended up putting me on meds for anxiety and depression. But it takes a much more comprehensive look at a person's health to truly provide care... if a bucket is leaking you don't refill the bucket, you check for a hole. That's what Larry's doc is missing and I think what Jenna was suggesting. Sometimes an awkward conversation is necessary to get to the root of a problem.

Still go by my initial reaction of "fuck that." This specific situation, if she had no other reason to think a 5lb weight gain was a problem, she shouldn't have brought it up. If you were 20lbs under when she last saw you and now you're 5 over, that's not a matter of Weight Watchers, and is probably cause for a bigger conversation about other things than weight. But no, she just deserves the ol' heave ho. Let's go have pie.

SIB, it seems, but just wanted to say three cheers for knowledgeable gyns!!!! Mine felt my thyroid was a little enlarged and made my promise to get a second opinion which led to the finding of thyroid cancer and it was fortunately caught so early that it's gone now that my thyroid's removed...and the thyroid surgery led to discovery of stage I of Hodgkins, also easy (ish) to care for since it was caught right away. I'm nominating my gyn for the next staff of the year award at my university. Asking me the right questions and doing a through full-body exam literally saved my life!

AguaEau

I agree that doctors shouldn't shy away from discussing weight when relevant, but Larry's doctor sounds like a tool.

A few years ago I went to a new GP for a physical.  I filled out my medical history form and was very upfront about my history of bulimia.  At the end of the appointment he casually threw out, "Oh, I'd like to see you lose some weight.  Not much, just 5 or 10 pounds." 

So, that tells me that either 1. he's an idiot and doesn't realize what a bad idea that is to say to someone recovering from an eating disorder, or 2. he didn't even look over my history.  Either way, not a doctor I want.

iloveotters2014

I think it also depends on the doctor you are seeing.....

My general family doctor that I see multiple times a year knows my weight struggles and knows what I've done to lose the weight I put on in college....and keep it off. She isn't going to shit all over me for still being a few pounds overweight because she knows that I'm doing this the healthy way and I'm keeping it off.

However, I went to a new gyno last year....they weighed me of course before the exam and I mentioned how i've lost nearly 40 pounds (this was before the wedding so I straight up told her I was planning to lose a few more) and she was like "well that's good because you really need to get this under control. you are still in the overweight range and that isn't something you will want to be for your health or your wedding day"

I nearly slapped that bitch in the face. Never went back again either.

OP - I'm sorry your doctor made you feel that way. It's really hard when you have been trying to keep up your health to have a doctor bring you down. It's counterproductive.

APDSS22

There is a good point about some people not having a GP somewhere up there.  Most women admit they usually only see their gyno regularly so there is a little pressure on them to notice more health issues other than what's going on below the belt.

HOWEVER, I wouldn't go back to this doctor because she seems to be incredibly insensitive to possible body image issues that a lot of women suffer, she seems very set in her opinions about birth control and she's an idiot.  So many things can lead to an irregular period, throwing something like infertility out there is really careless.  It's such a sensitive thing, even for women not trying to conceive. 

I have a friend who works as a waitress.  Recently, a table lectured her on eating potatoes and gave her a weight loss pamphlet.  Not only was that wildly inappropriate, she actually has a legitimate hormonal imbalance.  She's finally gotten to a place where she's strong enough to get past something like this but it grinds my gears that people throw out one solution like it's duct tape and will fix all your problems.  She eats healthy and exercises but there's a limit as to what's possible.  Just because the girl's eaten a bowl of potato soup before so she can recommend it to customers doesn't mean she stuffs her face with unhealthy food all the time.