wedding gown woes vent - help- UPDATE

JaniV123 · June 2014

I am so sad, frustrated, upset, angry, and confused!!!!!

I went randomly on Tuesday to a store and tried on a gown and it clicked, it fit with my vision, with the church and venue and had absolutely everything I wanted. It is from La Sposa and its almost $1800. It is perfect.

I went yesterday and with my sister/MOH so she could see it because I couldn't go with my grandma to ask the name/style # so that I could check out other stores to order it. There are so many issues!!!

1. They won't tell me the name, style #, collection or any information I can use to find the dress someplace else.

2.They say they cant order it and that I have to the one they have even though I am a bridal size 8 and the dress is a 6. (the dress closed on tuesday, was "exact", but if I bloat like I was today it wont close nor let me breathe. I am an 8 because of my hips and it is a little tight there so I probably wont be able to sit down)

3. If I take the one they have it is a sample and they want to sell it to me regular priced

4. She thinks I am a moron and keeps assuring me the dress can be let out up to 3 sizes (I have never ever heard this especially from a form fitting gown with Alencon Lace, usually they let out about half a size)

5. I cannot take pictures of the dress or me in the dress

6. I cannot find the dress online for the life of me

This is my dress I got the feeling and everything and it fits with every aspect of our wedding and thinking about trying on more dresses or trying to find another perfect dress. I broke down crying because they are being so intransigent and are not giving me options to be able to get my dream dress.

I am on my period and I have been super sensitive and I am so so upset. I keep breaking down crying and I can't stop thinking about that dress. What do you think I should do?

************** i called over 30 stores all over the us and here on the island. Its is unavailable everywhere and two even called La Sposa factories and they dont have it. The store I tried on the dress at "has a size8 on layaway" that hasnt been paid off in a while so she tried to contact the person to see if they are still interested ifnot I can buy it. I told her I would go with a seamstress who knows abour wedding dresses so she can assure me the alterations/letting out can be made and I would put a deposit down until she knows if the size 8 can be bought.

sophhabobopha · June 2014

So sorry you're going trough that! HUGS.

monkeysip · June 2014

I can really only think of three options:

1. Ask a good seamstress about letting the dress out. It *sometimes* can be done, but it depends on the dress. If you describe the dress well or find a similar one, the seamstress should be able to advise as to whether its possible. If possible, buy that dress.

2. Sneak a picture? Are they watching you in the dressing room? I never advise dishonest things, but this store sounds ridiculous. Then you could try and find it somewhere else.

3. If you can't snap a picture, then try and describe it and some of the genius ladies here might find it or something similar. I know it's easy to fall in love with a dress that is THE ONE, but there really might be something out super similar or even better that you'll fall in love with after you try on.

Sorry this store is being such a jerk...

monkeysip · June 2014

Oh, also, it's probably an older collection La Sposa, making it harder to find. You could try searching preowned websites to see if anyone is selling an older one.

JaniV123 · June 2014

@monkeysip

I probably could have sneaked a photo on tuesday but I didnt think they would be such bitches about everything. I had visited that store before and had never been treated as such.

Since I was asking about the style/name etc when I went in today with my grandma they didn't take their eye off me. To make it even worse they cut out the label from La Sposa that has the name and style number and other info so that customers can't find it.

I am going to TRY and see if I can ask someone but I am sure unless they see the dress they won't be able to know for sure.

monkeysip · June 2014

Ugh... I hate bridal stores like that!

NYCMercedes · June 2014

Goodness, they are unfriendly bitches and I wouldn't give them my business. See if you can find the number from the La Sposa website and/or pre owned websites and then call around to try and find it. Another poster here recommends Pearls Place in New Orleans for ordering, once you have the style number.

JaniV123 · June 2014

@NYCMercedes yeah at this moment I love that dress so much I would travel around the world to find it, I just need to know the style/name. My fi is being such a sweetheart, he says if they dont give me options by tuesday (when she said she would call me) then we are going in and not leaving until she gives us the info so we can find it somewhere in the world.

QueerFemme · June 2014

I would start scanning the used dress sites to see if you can find the dress. If they are saying it can't be ordered, it's probably from an older line.

jdluvr06 · June 2014

Ugh! This shop sounds like it is full of bitches. The PPs gave some good suggestions. Definitely don't buy anything from this shop. I'd goes as far as to go on yelp or some other site and give them had reviews.

ohannabelle · June 2014

What a nasty store.

Any other description for the dress? Mermaid, a line? Strapless? Off the shoulder? Tiered lace? Beaded? The more elements you can remember, the easier it will be to hunt down.

Eta- Google image search la sposa, alencon, and any crucial details. I want you to find this just because I hate bad customer service.

JaniV123 · June 2014

@ohannabelle

It is a strapless trumpet with alencon lace mounted on a fabric with polka dots (no sparkle). It has zipper and buttons on the back. The top border is ruched vertically like this (http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/dresses/view/56035/La-Sposa-Lucia-Size-12.html) but only an inch wide then it had lace. It has a tulle accent under the bust knotted in the middle. Like this (http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/dresses/view/101541/La-Sposa-Danesa-Size-8.html)

the most distinguishing thing is the skirt has some (2 in the front, one on each side and a big one in the back) "triangles" with ruched fabric on the inside (likely tulle or organza). It has a big train and beautiful lace finishing on the bottom of the hem.

that is the best I can describe it.

here are some dresses with similar lace pattern or fabrics

http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/dresses/view/71335/La-Sposa-Siglo-Size-12.html

http://www.preownedweddingdresses.com/dresses/view/99105/La-Sposa-Megara-1026563-Size-6.html

JaniV123 · June 2014

@ohannabelle

your message is so sweet it made me almost cry. If you or anyone here manages to find the style of this dress I will send you a gift because you will have made me the happiest woman on earth!

Inkdancer · June 2014

La Sposa Mullet sounds really close

orcaspinner · June 2014

Is this it?

ohannabelle · June 2014

Inkdancer said:

La Sposa Mullet sounds really close

I thought this was close, too, but the under bust description is different.

Inkdancer · June 2014

@orcaspinner I think you got it!

It's called Desiree, by La Sposa, and it was made in 2011 which is why your shop can't get it.

ohannabelle · June 2014

My bet would've been Doeydo to find it first. She's always really fast on the visual searches.

JaniV123 · June 2014

@orcaspinner‌ @Inkdancer‌ AHDJDHAKDJ YESS THAT IS IT!!! omg PM and I will send you guys a candy with a thank you note as big as the world!!!!! Thank you so so so much!!!!!

JaniV123 · June 2014

Now that I have taken a breath I want to say thank you so so much for helping me find the style of the dress! you ladies are so incredibly amazing and talented I am crying of joy right now. Even though I know it is a retired dress, I can now search the globe to try and find this and if not, look for as many pictures as I can and have it made. Thank you so much. This has truly fixed my whole week! Thank you again

ohannabelle · June 2014

Hurray!

CMGragain · June 2014

I know how you feel. Years ago I bought my wedding dress off the rack for a quick wedding. I have no idea what it was called. I THINK it might have been by Galina, but I'm not sure. It was long before the internet. I would love to find an ancient bridal magazine from 1975! All I know is that is was a discontinued sample and was marked down from $350 (gasp!) to $99. It fit, and I could afford it. I wish I had asked more questions, but the consultants really weren't interested in spending time with me.
I was by myself, and I don't think they thought I was a serious shopper. I was just happy to find something that I felt beautiful wearing to my wedding.

jenna8984 · June 2014

I am so happy that these ladies found the name for you!! I frigen can't stand shops that won't give the name or help you out. Mine was so helpful and honest and in turn, they get my business. Good luck in yuor search, that is gorgeous and I really hope you find it in your size!!

banana468 · June 2014

So glad it worked out! By the way, you can tell the store that if they remove the tab with the fabric content, they're breaking the law.

JaniV123 · June 2014

@ohannabelle‌ @jenna8984‌ @jdluvr06‌ @QueerFemme‌ I will be calling a million stores today and monday on the island and in the us to see if they have it if not. I thought about calling a seamstress that worked with designer Carlota Alfaro doing wedding gowns to go with me and assure me it can be let out enough to fit perfectly. Give them the business of buying the dress (try to bargain on them giving it to me at a lower price since it is a sample) and then not give them any more business ever and tell very single person I know to never visit their store for absolutely anything and give them awful reviews, etc. I really love this dress and would be willing to do that just so I can have my dress.

ohannabelle · June 2014

JaniV123 said:

@ohannabelle‌ @jenna8984‌ @jdluvr06‌ @QueerFemme‌ I will be calling a million stores today and monday on the island and in the us to see if they have it if not. I thought about calling a seamstress that worked with designer Carlota Alfaro doing wedding gowns to go with me and assure me it can be let out enough to fit perfectly. Give them the business of buying the dress (try to bargain on them giving it to me at a lower price since it is a sample) and then not give them any more business ever and tell very single person I know to never visit their store for absolutely anything and give them awful reviews, etc. I really love this dress and would be willing to do that just so I can have my dress.

I think that's a good plan- the princess seaming may be working in your favor- more seams to let out. It won't be a simple alteration, but a very good seamstress can move appliqués and trim, and even add a little fabric. If the seamstress can't go with you, at least you have a good picture to show her!

kla728 · June 2014

So happy that you were able to track it down. I would still hold out on buying from that shop as a last resort and only do it as a means to getting what you want in the end. I just don't understand why some shops act like that.... treating me poorly doesn't make me inclined to buy from you!