wedding planning burnout

jules3964

I am so sick of wedding planning. 

There, I said it. I am not an event planner. I never dreamed of what my wedding day would look like—I always just wanted to elope. When we got engaged, slowly but surely, pressure from other people led me to believe that I DID want a wedding and that planning would be fun. Now I feel completely burned out on aaaaallllll the little details, and I feel like I'm going crazy. Can anyone else relate?

People say, "oh but you've got all the big decisions made!" For me, the big decisions were easy. It's the little logistical details that get me. I feel like most people don't even realize how many details there are. 

I feel like I want to quit the wedding and elope, but FI says that is not an option. And yet I feel like I'm doing this all on my own. If I ask him what he thinks about something, he'll just say "whatever you want…" which does not help at all. I can't make all the decisions on my own!

Anyway, just venting I guess. Thanks for listening.

(Edited headline for clarity… hahah)

mrsmorales2be

This. Exactly. So much this. I know it sounds tacky, but I can't wait for it all to be over.

mrsmorales2be

My brain is weird though, because when I read your headline, my first thought was planning burnout - as in scheduling burnout for next Thursday at exactly 2:45....lol

melbelleup

mrsmorales2be said:

This. Exactly. So much this. I know it sounds tacky, but I can't wait for it all to be over.

Hahahahaha when anyone asks me about planning or if I'm excited "I can't wait for it to actually happen, then go on my honeymoon and do nothing" or "I'm excited for my honeymoon" lol. SOOOOOO over wedding planning. Thank god my day is almost here

EverAfer

Yup, when people asks me how it's going or if I'm excited, I'm like yes.
When the wedding is done, I can have my summer back!
I'm already planning the next camp trip after the wedding..keeps me sane.

jules3964, can you take a day off of wedding planning and do something relaxing for you? Or date night with FI or night out with the girls?

I try to block off "No Wedding Stuff" days so that we always have some quality time-alone or with other people.

melbelleup said:

mrsmorales2be said:

This. Exactly. So much this. I know it sounds tacky, but I can't wait for it all to be over.

Hahahahaha when anyone asks me about planning or if I'm excited "I can't wait for it to actually happen, then go on my honeymoon and do nothing" or "I'm excited for my honeymoon" lol. SOOOOOO over wedding planning. Thank god my day is almost here

sarawifenow

Story of my wedding planning life. It really helped me to take a couple of weeks off with NO wedding-related planning going on. I came back to it refreshed and felt much more relaxed about the whole situation.

SapphireCounselor

I remember feeling like this. Just take a step away from it, if you need, even if that means you do no planning for a week or two. Honestly, the little details seem so important when you're going through the process, but so many of them are just "nice to haves" and forgotten over time. As long as you're properly hosting everyone, and have the big stuff set, that's what's important.

LadyMillil

You sound exactly like me. I wanted to elope and my DH wanted the "big wedding" with friends and family, so we had the big wedding with friends and family . . . that he expected me to plan because that's what girls want to do *rolls eyes*. Whenever I asked him something his response was exactly what your FI is saying. I couldn't deal with the wedding planning plus all my work and school stuff by myself. After the big things (venue, food, photographer, ceremony plus officiant) were taken care of, I sat down and used the TK planning checklist and a couple of planning checklists I found on Pinterest to make a list of everything that could possibly need to be done for the wedding. Going over that list together we eliminated everything that either didn't affect guest comfort, and things we didn't care about. That left a much more manageable list. We then divided up the necessary items into to do lists for each of us. For example, I have better handwriting, so address invitations was on my list. He was really interested in design of invitations so that was on his list. 

You need to sit down with your FI and have a discussion about what needs to be done for the wedding planning, and tell him that you can't do it alone. It is his wedding too and he should be helping you plan.

jules3964

LadyMillil said:

You sound exactly like me. I wanted to elope and my DH wanted the "big wedding" with friends and family, so we had the big wedding with friends and family . . . that he expected me to plan because that's what girls want to do *rolls eyes*. Whenever I asked him something his response was exactly what your FI is saying. I couldn't deal with the wedding planning plus all my work and school stuff by myself. After the big things (venue, food, photographer, ceremony plus officiant) were taken care of, I sat down and used the TK planning checklist and a couple of planning checklists I found on Pinterest to make a list of everything that could possibly need to be done for the wedding. Going over that list together we eliminated everything that either didn't affect guest comfort, and things we didn't care about. That left a much more manageable list. We then divided up the necessary items into to do lists for each of us. For example, I have better handwriting, so address invitations was on my list. He was really interested in design of invitations so that was on his list. 

You need to sit down with your FI and have a discussion about what needs to be done for the wedding planning, and tell him that you can't do it alone. It is his wedding too and he should be helping you plan.

Wow, I love this. Thank you. I need to make a huge master To-Do list, print it out, and have us divide things up. We've talked about stuff between us but it'd be great to have a master list.

Well, that, and take at least a few days off from planning…

theartistformerlyknownas

I did always dream of a big fun wedding, and even I'm at the "give zero fucks" stage. I'm ready for it all just to be here and then be done. I just can't care that much about anything like centerpieces for this long.

[Deleted User]

I wanted to elope, my fiancé wanted a wedding. Good news is he is helping and involved and I told him we had to have a planner to guide us and to do the day off coordination. So we do and it hasn't been too bad so far.

Sugargirl1019

We just had our final venue meeting today for table numbers, linens, timeline etc. I was like, great idea! Let's do that! I have zero fucks to give! I just want this to be over!

Cookie Pusher

This is me. And I'm 18 days out from the wedding. I still just want to run away and get hitched in Vegas. But, in 19 days, I get my life back so at least there is an end in sight!