I have been running into repeated issues with my future mother-in-law (FMIL, as I've learned from other boards) and she has become completely obsessed with wedding plans. We have 12 months from now to plan, and she is constantly giving me unsolicited advice on everything. She asked me my "vision" on the bridesmaid dresses, I showed her a picture I liked, and the next day I received an essay long e-mail rant on why she completely disagreed with what I liked; she disagreed with my decor ideas, had problems with our venue choices, etc. She has already basically planned the whole wedding without us, and has started calling and e-mailing vendors without my knowledge of it. While I am extremely grateful for her enthusiasm and sincerely appreciate her help, she has become incredibly overbearing and won't seem to bend or flex on any of my suggestions if they don't align with her vision.
The final straw came when she forwarded me an e-mail conversation she had with a floral vendor she liked. In her initial e-mail, she wrote to the florist: "The bride's family has proposed a limited wedding budget. My husband and I are of a more progressive bend and anticipate sharing in the wedding expenses." First of all, I feel my parents were very generous with their financial offer (considering there are three of us kids they will have to contribute to weddings), and second, I found it incredibly rude of her to go around telling vendors that my family is being stingy. My fiance has already addressed this, and she felt bad that I found out she said that, but I don't think it's ok of her to go around saying this potential vendors.
My fiance has had repeated conversations telling her to back off a little bit and cool down with the extravagant wedding plans, we are more bohemian-type, wanting a relaxed and fun wedding, we are not competing for wedding of the year with Kimye. I am one phone call away from telling her to "wear beige and shut up." What do you suggest I do, without me getting into a huge fight with my FMIL?
Thank you for your suggestions!