VENT You guys, I think I have hit a breaking point...

sarawifenow

Pretty sure I am having a nervous breakdown.

 

I have been under SO much stress and pressure at work, with the wedding, and just in general. When I am stressed, I eat. When I eat, I get fat. When I get fat, I worry that my dress won't fit. I have my first fitting on the 28th, but I think I am going to go in tomorrow to just try it on. If this doesn't fit, I am going to lose it.

 

On top of it all, I feel like I have no "me" time. FI is so sweet and always wants to spend time together. My friends always want to hang out. I am doing a new workout that takes up my afternoons three times a week. I am just so overwhelmed!

 

Any advice on little things that help you relax? Ideas for days by yourself? Really, anything helps at this point.

JCbride2015

SaraBrideSoon said:

Pretty sure I am having a nervous breakdown.

 

I have been under SO much stress and pressure at work, with the wedding, and just in general. When I am stressed, I eat. When I eat, I get fat. When I get fat, I worry that my dress won't fit. I have my first fitting on the 28th, but I think I am going to go in tomorrow to just try it on. If this doesn't fit, I am going to lose it.

 

On top of it all, I feel like I have no "me" time. FI is so sweet and always wants to spend time together. My friends always want to hang out. I am doing a new workout that takes up my afternoons three times a week. I am just so overwhelmed!

 

Any advice on little things that help you relax? Ideas for days by yourself? Really, anything helps at this point.

Breathe deep.  Really, wherever you are right now, you can do square breathing.  In for four counts, hold for four counts, out for four counts, hold four counts, repeat.

Tell Fi you need some alone time.  Maybe treat yourself to a new book and find a quiet place to read and decompress.  Can you sit outside and read?

As for the dress, it is what it is.  Try the dress on but don't beat yourself up about it.  Stock up on some healthy foods that you like and will look forward to eating.  Your seamstress can always let the dress out if need be.

beachyone15

I know I am having the same worries about my dress not fitting. Either way, it can be altered in or out. So don't worry about that!
I would definitely tell your FI that you need at least one night to yourself. My FI plays basketball on Wednesdays which works out well for both of us. A little break every now and then is ok, and I'm sure he'll understand!
What do you like to do to relax? Watch a movie? Lounge by the pool? Take 1 day a week (maybe the day that your FI is doing his own thing) and do it!

MamaAlly89

Talk to you fiancé, tell him you need some alone time and he should understand. Suggest he go out with his friends for the night, then get your butt in some sweatpants. Park yourself on the couch with a glass on wine and a good movie. Works every time for me! As far as the dress I wouldn't stress about it. Drink lots of water and try to eat healthy from now until your fitting. Also, this may sound weird but I had my fitting the other day and it serious was amazing. I went by myself cause my family lives out of state. I got to be alone and it was quiet. It was wonderful. ETA: Why does TK hate paragraphs so much!

Bubblegum5586

The summer before my wedding I felt so stressed. The wedding planning part was stressful but in a fun way. The part that push me to my breaking point was work. I work for an arena and we were undergoing a $23 million renovation, my responsibilities include selling all advertising and all luxury seating in the building . With the renovation we had increased inventory that I needed to sell, and I needed it all done before I left for the wedding as I got back the day before the official grand reopening!

After having what I felt were panic attacks (struggling to breath when feeling overwhelmed). I googled what to do. I wrote down these four steps and taped them to my computer screen t help control how I was feeling.

Step 1 - Relax [take deep breaths]

Step 2 - Stop negative thinking [yell "STOP!!!" inside your head]

Step 3 - Use coping statements ["I am fine, everything is fine"]

Step 4 - Accept/validate your feelings ["I'm going though a stressful time/ a lot on my plate"]

It really helped me calm down and put things into perspective.

Good luck!!!!

theartistformerlyknownas

Put some wine in a travel coffee mug and go get a pedicure. Do you have Netflix or Amazon Prime TV on your phone? Take it to the gym and watch the most ridiculous chick flick or show on the treadmill. Take your time cooking your food and making something worth the calories rather than mindlessly eating - do it for the experience, not the task or just because you're bored/stressed/hungry. Take your lunch break outside and read a book.

And just breeeaaaathe. You've got this.

climbingsingle

Get a pedicure. Or a massage if you can! Take a yoga class. 

wandajune6

I'm scared shitless about my dress not fitting. I think we've all been there.

I need to get out of the house for alone time on a regular basis. FI's son is a teenager and going through an asshole phase. We're dealing with it but we're in a small house and sometimes, I just need to get away from all of it.

I love going to the library. I go shopping, even if I have no intention of buying anything. I love garage sales. Sometimes I'll drive an hour to my favorite vegan restaurant by myself and read a book while I eat. I just give myself time away from everyone and everything. I always feel better afterwards.

Also, there's great power in saying no to plans. Trust me, it will change your life!

beethery

wandajune6 said:

I'm scared shitless about my dress not fitting. I think we've all been there.

I need to get out of the house for alone time on a regular basis. FI's son is a teenager and going through an asshole phase. We're dealing with it but we're in a small house and sometimes, I just need to get away from all of it.

I love going to the library. I go shopping, even if I have no intention of buying anything. I love garage sales. Sometimes I'll drive an hour to my favorite vegan restaurant by myself and read a book while I eat. I just give myself time away from everyone and everything. I always feel better afterwards.

Also, there's great power in saying no to plans. Trust me, it will change your life!

@wandajune6 is hitting the nail on the head. Further, this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsABTmT1_M0

TREAT. YO. SELF. Make some plans by your own self and have a do-you day. Even if you don't really do anything. Sit at Barnes & Noble with a big ass beverage and read for a while. Pay for a day pass at a country club and go swimming and do some lounging around and don't talk to no-damn-body. You need a day to recharge, and some good ol' TREAT YO SELF day sounds like it needs to be #1 on the agenda.

wandajune6

@beethery You think just like me!

sarawifenow

Seriously, I love you all right now. I think I am just having an OMG moment and really needed all this. Thanks everyone!

SBmini

You need to get control back in your life! Start making lists and checking things off. It is HUGELY satisfying to check things off a list. And delegate! What can your FI help with? Your mom? Your MOH? There are people who may be asking you to help them but you won't know if you don't ask. (note- I'm not saying make them help, I'm saying ask them to help.) Also- if you don't have a coordinator or planner, you may want to consider one. They are a huge load off your shoulders and will save you a ton of stress day of. Now that you have things off your plate, it's time to carve out some time for you. If you are worried about stress and fitting into your dress- I highly recommend signing up at a yoga or pure barre studio. This will be an hour of time that will just be about you. About forgetting what else is going on and focus on doing something that is good for you without any distractions or people. It is so rewarding to spend time just on you and you'll feel better about your body, which will help you get your cravings under control. And just remind yourself- everything will be OK. No one knows all of your plans but you. No one will miss anything that isn't there. Start asking yourself honestly if some of the work is worth the heartache. Will people remember the cute custom DIY place cards? Probably not. So ditch them! Focus on the essentials first, then if you have time, add embellishments.

SBmini

Sorry- apparently paragraphs don't exist on the Knot right now.

sarawifenow

@SBmini-I actually have signed up for Pure Barre. I love it. I am going three times a week--tonight actually!

 

LadyMillil

I ditto the PP that say to take some time for yourself and do something relaxing.

I stress eat too. I try not to buy things like cookies or chips at the grocery store, and I keep myself too busy at work to go to a coffee shop or vending machine. I slice fruit up or buy Greek yogurt cups or dried fruit to snack on instead. DH does usually buy junk food. I put all the treats he buys on shelves I can't reach or in the freezer. Having to drag a chair over or unthaw things deters me most of the time and I'll grab some fruit or yogurt instead.