Finances

LizzyTish88

Morning Ladies!

So I just went and paid all my bills and now I am broke. It's payday and the money went right in and right back out LOL. BF and I talked about it before buying the house and are still trying to fall into a rhythm with paying the bills. So he makes roughly $20,000 more than me yearly due to overtime. He is also debt free and I am in the hole around 55k for student loans. 

So I was wondering, how do you work out finances with your SO? Do you have a joint account that you pay from? Do you split things 50/50? Do you split things a different amount? 

I do know that we have to do what works best for us, but just trying to get an idea of what other people do until we can find just what is right for us. TIA!

ShallowSeas

FI's only debts are his student loans.  I have student loans, a car payment, and a credit card that I'm trying to pay off.  We have a joint checking account that both of our paychecks go into and we pay bills through that. I make a little more than FI but I also pay more monthly in bills, so it probably evens out. After all the bills are paid, whatever money is left in the account is ours to spend however.

Before we had a joint checking account we split everything 50/50.  I paid for half of the rent, utilities, all that fun stuff. And then of course I paid my own bills. It was a PITA splitting everything and getting him the money or writing him out a check, so he finally just put be on his account and life has been so much easier.

ETA: Forgot to add that we have a second joint checking account that is our wedding account and we have a joint savings account, which is currently almost completely dry since we moved it all into our wedding account except for what we had to use for expensive vet bills when Watson had Pancreatitis   Our goal immediately after the wedding is to build our savings account back up.

Hummingbird125

We've been meaning to set up a joint account for-freaking-ever, but still haven't gotten around to it. FI and I make about the same amount of money, and have roughly the same bills to pay, so we split things up pretty evenly. We split the rent, I pay the electric/gas bill and he pays the cable bill. We each pay our own car insurance and commuting costs. I buy groceries and he buys pet supplies and pays for dates. He does have student loan payments, but they are pretty small, and my commuting costs are higher, so that evens out.

Since we don't yet have a joint account, my savings account is acting as our wedding savings, so FI writes me checks to deposit into that :-)

ETA: FI used to make less and I used to make more, so for a while I made about 10-15k more than he did. During that time I definitely took on a higher percentage of our expenses. We still split our bills up the same way, but I paid for more date nights and handle the unexpected expenditures that came up.

emmaaa

FI and I have been living together for two years. The first year, I was still in school and FI worked full time so he paid the majority of the bills. This past year, FI is in school and I work full time and pay the majority of the bills. We have a joint checking account and each have our own savings. I like have a joint account because we truly look at all of the money as "ours" regardless of whose paycheck it came from. We prioritize the money: bills, then gas, then groceries, then spending money.

[Deleted User]

Before we moved into the house, H paid all the bills and I focused solely on saving my paychecks for our down payment. Since we decided to rent instead of buy, H and I split rent 50/50 and he covers the rest of the bills. I'm still solely focusing on saving most of my paychecks so next year we can buy. I have my own checking account and so does H but we share a credit card through him.  H makes slightly more than I do when you add in all his stipends that he receives.

ETA: I'm the only one with student loan debt so I focus on paying that off as well. Also, H covers gas and groceries.

buddysmom80

When FI and I got engaged we sat down and figured out finances. I have a total credit card debt of $1200, FI has $10000 plus student loans. Right now he's focusing on paying off the credit card with the highest interest and working his way down. So far in the past six months he's paid off 3 credit cards. We figured that I would pay the mortgage plus my credit card debt with a 0% interest transfer. Once it's paid off, we'll transfer one of his balances onto the 0% interest transfer card etc, etc. He pays the utilities on the home, groceries and his bills.

Anything left over we split in half and put half in the wedding fund and the other half is our funny money for the next two weeks.

We have seperate checking accounts and a joint checking account. Right now the joint account is for our wedding. It works out well because we can transfer money back and forth without paying fees.

eilis1228

BF makes almost twice as much as I do (he's an engineer, I work at a non-profit), and he has FAR less debt. He just finished paying off his student loans, and he has maybe 2 months left on his car. I owe the government $65k for my education. Anywho, we currently split rent 60/40, utilities in half, and then we each pay for different bills. He pays for our cell phone, groceries, and any social outings. I pay for car and renters insurance and the toll tags. I think overall it's still a 60/40 split. We have separate bank accounts, but we're aware of what the other person has in their account and consult each other on purchases more than like $50. 

When we get married, he wants us to live off of his income and use mine to pay off my student loan debt quickly. I think with his plan, we'll be debt free by 30. After that, I think we're going to have our paychecks deposited into a joint account and then have a certain amount automatically transferred into personal accounts for each of us so that we can still have some play money and the ability to buy things for other person in secret. This plan could obviously change though. 

Swazzle

We have a joint checking and 2 joint savings and I also have my own separate checking which is where my student loans come out of (I auto-transfer the amount over and then the bills are on auto-pay from there). I could have gotten rid of that one but it was too much of a hassle to change the bank account on the loans at the time so I just didn't do it. We merged our finance when we first got engaged and this just works for us. We don't question the spending of the other person and if we want something major, we always talk about it first. 

H has no debt on his own. I have student loan debt and we bought our car together. I also have a bunch of credit cards (for stores) that when used, I pay in full each month. We have a joint credit card that we use for trips and major purchases to get the points/cash back and we carry a small-ish balance on that. 

Dignity100

Currently FI and I have our own homes to maintain.  I pay all my bills, he pays all his bills.  We have talked that when we get married he will move into my house - I will continue to pay the bills from my paycheck and we will save out of his paycheck for the 'dream home'.  FI is the breadwinner between the two of us, so we're really hoping to live off my check for a year or so and save out of his.

We still have yet to open a joint checking account.  We keep talking about it, but are having a hard time since I'll be changing my last name and I'm a cheapskate about ordering checks.  Our plan is to have a joint account for savings/checking to pay bills and then each of us will still maintain our individual checking accounts for our personal 'fun money'.

As far as our debt, right now we just have my car (will be paid off early next year), FI's car, my house (which I owe more than it's worth due to the housing market crash).

KeptInStitches

FI and I don't have joint accounts, but we have joint money - in that "ok, I'll get this this time, you get these bills, I'll get the mortgage, say can you cover the overlap rent for this month?" Starting this month since our expenses are lower (amazing what living together is doing for us), a portion of my excess income is going toward paying off his student loans from highest interest rate down; other than the mortgage, his loans are our only debt.

GoldenPenguin

FI & I don't have a shared account yet, but we have accounts at the same credit union, and they're connected, so we can transfer money back & forth. He makes about 10k more than I do. 

I have about $60k left in student loans, while his are significantly less; I have a car payment, which he doesn't; he has a credit card, which I don't. I pay half the rent, he pays the utilities (cable & electric). We trade off on groceries, but I would say I usually end up going to the store more than he does, which is fine. We each pay for our own "things" like gas, insurance, fun, etc. We usually alternate on date nights. When we travel, if we take his car (which is better on gas) I will pay for a fill-up. 

behsco90

BF and I don't live together yet, but we split any costs (cell phone bill, trips) and if we go out to dinner, sometimes he'll pay, sometimes I'll pay, or sometimes we'll split it.

When we move in together, we decided to join our finances and then we would each get an allowance each month (say $250 each) for whatever we want to spend it on.

Ollie08

BF and I combined finances when he moved in with us. Neither of us really has more than the other (technically I make more, but I also have the 2 girls), so it was just a better idea to combine our money. We have a joint checking and savings, and any credit cards we have are on our own. 

Also, it's taken us a few months to get the hang of it, but we've come up with a budget template that works for us that we plan yearly, and then revisit every month (sometimes every 2 weeks if there are unexpected expenses). We don't have a lot, but we make what little we do have work for us. 

loves2shop4shoes

Before DH and I got married, and were living together, I was in law school.  When I was in law school, he paid for 100% of our household bills, and I took out around 8k in loans for basic expenses (food, books, etc.) to pitch in where I could. 

When I was working after law school, but before we got married, we had separate checking accounts.  DH made more than I did, so we split the rent and food, and he paid the utilities.

Once we got married, we combined everything.  We have one joint checking account, two joint savings accounts, and then a "house fund" joint savings account.  DH still makes significantly more than I do, but we look at it as "our money."  Every month, we budget out each of our bills and upcoming expenses, we each get an equal amount of "allowance/spending money" for whatever we want, and we decide how much will go to savings.

ETA:  All of our credit cards are also joint credit cards.  And whenever one of us wants to buy something $500 or more, we discuss it.

LizzyTish88

Thanks everyone for all the input! What we're thinking is BF pays the mortgage, and I pay all utilities (gas, electric, cable/phone/internet bundle, cell phone bill, groceries). We both have car insurance, and I have a small car payment that should be paid off by the end of the year. So far, we haven't had the first mortgage payment (it's due next month) so I've been paying everything. We also have all separate accounts. We're not against joining them, we just haven't yet. 

Do any of you use budgeting tools? I know a while back some NEY girls suggested Mint. I have an account but not quite sure how to get into really utilizing it. I would like to start so that I can be debt free (excluding house) by 30 so I should get on that.

eilis1228

BF uses Mint and loves it. It sends him weekly updates, and it categorizes all your spending so you can get a better idea of where to budget more strictly.

loves2shop4shoes

We use Mint.  And then, silly as it sounds, when we do our monthly budgeting, it all gets written in a spiral notebook we keep on the bookshelf.

buddysmom80

I use Mint but I do 99% of our budgeting on an Excel spreadsheet. I've used Excel for years and it helped me with budgeting years ago when I was irresponsible with money!

[Deleted User]

H likes to use Mint as well. I think my Dad does this too.

Dignity100

I use Quicken because I'm old school like that.

Ollie08

I tried Mint and couldn't get into it really. It's great at categorizing things after they're spent, but I couldn't get into it for budgeting ahead of time. I like some of the features, but it's an added tool, not my main plan. 

We use an Excel spreadsheet (actually, a few of them haha). BF is a creative, so he doesn't "get" structure like I do. I prefer everything organized in lists and categories etc. What's worked best for us now is a calendar setup in Excel. I have the weeks running from Friday-Thursday to align with pay days (which is how he's used to budgeting). We plan out the entire year so we can plug in those expenses that don't occur every month like car registrations, oil changes, tires, hair appts for me etc. We revisit it at the beginning of every month to make sure that we have everything where it needs to be. And then BF likes to revisit every time he gets paid so he can pay his bills. 

We're also trying to find the Financial Peace University program in our area that we can attend in person so we can get on Dave Ramsey's plan. Everyone I know that's gone through it has raved. It's hard, but it's worth it (from what they tell me). I think @CocoBellaF and her H do a modified version of Dave Ramsey's plan. 

luckya23

I haven't combined with SO, but he has stated that he doesn't want to be the "money manager" so I guess that will be up to me.  I already have something like 12 accounts, because that's how I organize, save, and budget. 

I guess the house will have to remain in my name for the time being, so I will probably just add him to my accounts.  His accounts are still in his hometown, too, so they're not terribly useful with no local branches.

I have been using mint for something like 5 years, so it has a LOT of dirt on me at this point!  I love it, it was a huge help getting out of debt a few years ago so I could see my progress all at a glance. 

Mint doesn't have a good budgeting tool though, so I use an excel spreadsheet from enemyofdebt.com.  I also used to be a big Dave Ramsey person, until I totally went against his house buying recommendations.  I haven't done FPU yet, though, so I will probably start trying to keep an eye out for classes that might work with SO's crazy work schedule. 

[Deleted User]

Background from when we got married: H had about $24K in CC debt, I was debt free (except the mortgage on my condo). We will also take back payments on his student loans next year - H's parents offered to cover the 1st 2 year's of payments for us as a gift. Our primary goal is to pay off all of H's CC debt before we have to take on the student loan...while still building our savings.

Our plan of attack: H and I have a joint budget, but we keep separate bank accounts. Basically, our budget is an excel spreadsheet. We total our income for the pay period (every two weeks). Then we take 20% off the top and throw that into a savings account. Next, we subtract any bills that are due for the next two weeks. Then H and I each get an equal amount of spending $$$ in our individual accounts (we can use this money to buy groceries, gas, clothes, gifts, eating out...basically anything in that 2 weeks BUT that's all we get). This way we both get to have some freedom to spend how we choose without guilt. Finally - ALL the rest that's left over goes towards H's CC debt.

We began this plan in late February of this year and so far we've been able to pay off about $9K. We've got a little over $14K to go...and based on our spreadsheet we think we'll have it paid off by February of 2015!

Also, check out www.creditkarma.com. It will show you your credit score, tell you how your score is impacted by paying off debt, having credit checks run on you, etc. It's a great tool, very motivating...and completely FREE. It won't budget for you, but it will teach you how to have the best impact on your score

LabLove86

For the time being we make almost exactly the same - as in within 1k/yr of each other. And right now we are splitting just about 50/50 - sometimes I pick up a little more, sometimes he does. It depends on other monthly expenses and timing of the bills being paid. 

BF was told last week that they are trying to create a position at his company specifically for him - and this will take just about a year with budgets/when the position will be needed (he says they need this position now - so its a mater of logistics and budget at this point) which will put him alone at making our combined income - so I'm sure when that happens we will re-work our finances. But for now - we plan for what we are currently making incase this position isn't approved. 

itslizzzz

FI and I have lived together for the past two years. We each have separate personal checking and savings accounts at our credit union. Out of those accounts, we split the mortgage payment, I pay for my student loans, credit card ( I only owe $200 of a $500 limit), cell phone, gas, groceries, car insurance. He pays for half the mortgage (we make a triple payment each month), his cell phone, house phone and internet (no cable at our house), and all utilities. We have three joint savings accounts; one is purely for vacations, one is a long-term account for future expenses such as building a house (the CU charges every time we take money out so it makes it more difficult to get $), and the third account is our short-term savings which we use for household expenses to remodel our current house. We both follow VERY strict budgets and we are currently paid up on our mortgage through January of 2018 . I paid my card off 3 years early and my student loans are always paid up to 4 months ahead. Yay budgets!

carliealissa

FI and I have lived together for almost 6 years, with the exception of two years while I was still in law school and he had graduated (he moved back home to parents and was lucky to get a great job).  During that time we always kept our own finances/loans separately and split everything in half. 

Shortly after I graduated, FI had enough saved up for a down payment on a house.  We lived there together for nearly a year while I had basically no income and he paid for everything.  Now that I have a "real" job, he still pays for all the bills but I just give him the majority of my extra money.  I do also have loan payments and car payments now that I pay myself.  Since we got engaged about a month after I started working, we opened a joint savings account for wedding stuff (that we currently are spending on deposits as fast as we put in).  He can use the money I give him towards bills or the savings, it's all the same.

FI and I also EACH have over 100k in student loan debt.  However I'm doing legal work for a non-profit, so the goal is to pay as little as possible of my loans and go for debt forgiveness.  He's working for a private firm and making much more money, so we will want to aggressively pay his off.  That will be goal #1 after the wedding.  Sometimes I think we will just die with them though, UGH is there anything worse than student loans?

Pepperally

When we first moved in together 2 years ago, FI insisted on paying half of everything, even though I make twice as much as he does. Eventually he agreed to pay somewhat less in rent than me, and I pay some bills and don't ask him for his half and hope he doesn't ask me about them. He had such a problem with not being able to "provide" for me since I make more than he does, but with time he has succumbed to that idea and that is pretty much the way it will always be. We have kept separate accounts but need to decide what we're doing once we're married this October. I also pay for a lot of the wedding stuff and I don't mind. He will pay what he can and that is fine. Most of it has just been putting down inexpensive deposits anyway.  We both were against sharing bank accounts until we're married, or at least engaged, but we just haven't gotten around to doing so.  Once we're married, we are both cc debt free. I have a small personal loan that will be paid off by the time we're married. We both have car loans. I have student loans.

cu97tiger

I will admit that I didn't read anyone else's responses, so I may be repeating someone else here. 

Your situation sounds very similar to mine and DHs. He makes quite a bit more than I do. I have a significant amount of student loan debt (it started around $55k, but is now down to about $46k). We combined finances when we got engaged. It has been a bit of a rough road as we navigate our different attitudes towards money.

For example, DH believes he works hard, so he shouldn't necessarily have to 'budget' his money. On the other hand, I have a real problem with spending money unconsciously, so while I know that we have the money to spend, I'd rather budget every last dollar to maximize paying off debts.

About three months ago, we decided that instead of me doing the checkbooks, DH would. This will give him a better insight into where our money is going. If he still feels comfortable 'not' budgeting, then I've come to terms with it. We are lucky to be in the position we are in, we have a significant amount of money going to our 401ks, and we put money into two different savings accounts each paycheck. I do follow an 'allowance' each week, and DH gets more than I do (since he makes more, and I kind of like being the martyr that makes do with less). But we both have the ability to go over that amount if we want to, as long as we keep the checkbook up to date.

[Deleted User]

@Ollie08 - yes we do a modified version of the Dave Ramsey plan for our student loan debt.

basically, all our money goes into a joint account.  all of the bills are paid, we put down approx. 25% of our take-home pay into the student loans, we take out $800-850 cash for groceries (fresh and paper products) every 4 weeks, and leave a little bit in the account for us to spend.  we both have a credit card that we use for gifts, so the other person doesn't know what's being purchased.  every pay period, H will tell me if he has anything on his card and I'll make sure it gets paid.  I take care of the finances for the most part.

we're down to under $10,000 for student loans (started with $40,000 in Dec. 2011) and they should be paid off in 9 months or so.  yay!!

lavenderfields13

We have a joint checking account and we each have our own separate checking and savings accounts. Our individual savings are pretty much zero right now since we're saving money for the wedding in our joint account. We opened the joint account I think when we moved in together- we have the same bank and use online banking so we can transfer money back and forth.

FI makes around 15-20k? more than me but we split everything 50/50. My name is on all the bills except cable , I go grocery shopping and I write the rent check. Then I tell him how much he owes me and he transfers it from his personal account to our joint and I then transfer it to my personal. Same thing when I owe him money. To kind of balance out him making more money he pays when we go out to eat, have a date night or whatever.

Right now I plan on keeping this same system after we get married. Wedding savings will change to House savings. We have different ideas on how to manage money so I think it's best to keep our own personal accounts. FI doesn't budget but he always has enough money to pay the bills and now to put money in the account for the wedding. That's the thing that used to drive me nuts about  him..he wouldn't put any money in savings before we were engaged, just kept it all in his checking. But he never spends it all so he didn't understand why I cared what account it was in. I like to see money GROW in the savings! So as long as he has money for the wedding and a house and to pay our bills I don't care what goes on in his personal account.