So I am recently engaged! YAY!
I have 3, much younger cousins whom I would like to participate in my wedding. The flower girl is a seven year-old, only child. The other two are the ring bearer (seven) and his sister (five). While the two older children are respectful and behave; the younger is disrespectful, tantrum throwing, attention thriving little so-and-so. I do not want to hurt the child's feelings, but I cannot trust the mother to control her child during the ceremony.
I have confronted the mother several times about her daughters behavior including this past Christmas when I caught the 4 year old going through my purse that was put safely away behind the closed doors of my old bedroom in the back of the house. When I confronted the child she told me all these things were hers. So naturally, I corrected the issue as best I could by addressing the mother. The mother basically told me I should take better care of my things. So, as you can imagine, I'm not excited about the idea of confronting my cousin's wife about why their child will not be a part of the wedding.
To be honest, we are asking our guests to part with their children for one night. Both my fiance and I would much rather have them leave the problem child at home for the night, but that would be asking too much since her older brother (the ring bearer) will still be apart of the wedding. I don't want to punish anyone, but I don't see any way around hurting someone's feelings to defend my "big day". However, I will not have a disrespectful and uncontrollable child running wild during my ceremony. This child has now become such an issue that my mother put her foot down and spoke with her sister, the child's grandmother. The grandmother agreed with my lack of confidence and has agreed to stick up for our decision. Even with the support of so many others in my family, I feel guilty.
I understand that she is a child and children will behave like children. However, I'm speaking of a child whom will boldly defy an adult without any concern for repercussions or safety. The day before Christmas Eve, she tried to set the house on fire by adding paper towels to the top of a candle. I'm not talking about one or two sheets. I'm talking about a whole roll. When we asked her why, she responded "because it was fun!" She. was. four. Her most recent tantrum was at her preschool graduation when she threw herself on the floor and screamed during the entire 15 minute performance. This was when my mother let me know she AGREED with my concern and would not allow for such drama to unfold at our wedding. Like I said before, I cannot trust the parents or the child. While watching the child react, the mother just kept telling everyone to "give her space" and "she needs to breathe". So, the other children had to compete over her screams during their graduation ceremony because the mother refused to remove her from the room.