standing during ceremony

soontobemrshamilton

We just booked our venue for our summer 2015 wedding...yay so excited. We love, love, love the venue, but there was one little thing I didn't like about the ceremony part. And that is,our guests will be standing. We can have a few chairs for the elderly, but everyone else will be standing around. I've never seen or been to a standing ceremony. 

It's not going to be a long ceremony (non religious) so they won't have to stand long, but I guess it's just weird to me, because that's not what I am used to. The ceremony is outside, but we have an option of inside with chairs, but outside is so much prettier.

Have you been to one? Or had one yourself? How did it turn out?

manateehugger

soontobemrshamilton said:

We just booked our venue for our summer 2015 wedding...yay so excited. We love, love, love the venue, but there was one little thing I didn't like about the ceremony part. And that is,our guests will be standing. We can have a few chairs for the elderly, but everyone else will be standing around. I've never seen or been to a standing ceremony. 

It's not going to be a long ceremony (non religious) so they won't have to stand long, but I guess it's just weird to me, because that's not what I am used to. The ceremony is outside, but we have an option of inside with chairs, but outside is so much prettier.

Have you been to one? Or had one yourself? How did it turn out?

Nope. Do not do it. You need a chair for every but (rent basic white folding chairs - they are not expensive). No one gives a damn how pretty the outside is when they've been forced to stand in heels.

Yes, your ceremony might not be long, but remember people could arrive up to 30 minutes early (FI and I are 15 minutes early to every ceremony so we're seated and settled by the time the show gets rolling), and they will continue to stand after the ceremony.

And it's not just the elderly that need a chair - children, people with back issues, women who dressed nicely to attend your wedding.

Rent the chairs.

AddieCake

soontobemrshamilton said:

We just booked our venue for our summer 2015 wedding...yay so excited. We love, love, love the venue, but there was one little thing I didn't like about the ceremony part. And that is,our guests will be standing. We can have a few chairs for the elderly, but everyone else will be standing around. I've never seen or been to a standing ceremony. 

It's not going to be a long ceremony (non religious) so they won't have to stand long, but I guess it's just weird to me, because that's not what I am used to. The ceremony is outside, but we have an option of inside with chairs, but outside is so much prettier.

Have you been to one? Or had one yourself? How did it turn out?

This is not going to go over well. You need a chair for every butt. People are still going to be standing for probably nearly an hour, despite your ceremony being short. I like to be early to things,and would probably be 30 minutes early to your wedding. And you want me to stand around in heels for that whole time plus the length of your ceremony?  What about people who are not elderly but have other ailments, aches, pains, etc? Someone with a wriggling baby? Can you not have chairs outside?  Please do not put your pretty site over your guests' comfort. 

soontobemrshamilton

we can't rent chairs, they are not possible to have outside due to the way the patio is set up. We would have to have it inside.

NYCMercedes

Ask them how much chairs cost for outside and work it into your budget. My kid went to a wedding like this a few weeks ago--this is a young girl with no feet, knee, or back issues. She sunk into the ground in her shoes as it was so wet even though it wasn't raining. After the WP processional, the bride arrived 15 minutes late in a horse drawn carriage to a crowd of unhappy and uncomfortable guests. Nobody cared about the ceremony at that point. They just wanted to get back up to the food, drinks, and hard ground. AND CHAIRS.

NYCMercedes

soontobemrshamilton said:

we can't rent chairs, they are not possible to have outside due to the way the patio is set up. We would have to have it inside.

If they can have a few for the elderly, then they can have a few more.

manateehugger

soontobemrshamilton said:

we can't rent chairs, they are not possible to have outside due to the way the patio is set up. We would have to have it inside.

Then honestly, I'd have it inside. You can take to die for wedding photos with your wedding party outdoors.

But like I said, I don't think many will forgive you if you don't have chairs. I'd rather have happy, ready to party folks.

MollyandD

I went to a wedding and had to stand. I had to stand for absolutely no reason, too.

The venue was a church, and there was no shortage of seating. We all stood for the bride, and for some crazy reason, the minister never let us sit back down! Some people started to, and he asked us to remain standing. It made no sense, and was horribly uncomfortable for some of the elderly guests and for my aunt who has diabetes that causes major pain her feet. 

I really don't think the bride and groom realized that the preacher would have said that, because they were wonderful hosts other than this. They chose a good place with plenty of seating for both the ceremony and the reception. If I were to find out that this had been their choice, I'd be very upset, but I don't think that was the case. They are both very sensitive about the special needs and comfort of those around them. 

Standing during a wedding is uncomfortable and irritating for me, a perfectly healthy and in shape woman. I was 22 or 23 at this wedding. I can only imagine how much worse it was for others who are not in the best shape, have medical conditions, or are elderly. 

Maggie0829

Molly&Domenic said:

I went to a wedding and had to stand. I had to stand for absolutely no reason, too.

The venue was a church, and there was no shortage of seating. We all stood for the bride, and for some crazy reason, the minister never let us sit back down! Some people started to, and he asked us to remain standing. It made no sense, and was horribly uncomfortable for some of the elderly guests and for my aunt who has diabetes that causes major pain her feet. 

I really don't think the bride and groom realized that the preacher would have said that, because they were wonderful hosts other than this. They chose a good place with plenty of seating for both the ceremony and the reception. If I were to find out that this had been their choice, I'd be very upset, but I don't think that was the case. They are both very sensitive about the special needs and comfort of those around them. 

Standing during a wedding is uncomfortable and irritating for me, a perfectly healthy and in shape woman. I was 22 or 23 at this wedding. I can only imagine how much worse it was for others who are not in the best shape, have medical conditions, or are elderly. 

This happened to me once as well. One would think, well just sit down, but no one wanted to be the first to do it and no one wanted to sit in case the preacher was getting to that point. So we stood for the whole 30 minute ceremony. It sucked so bad. Right towards the end I pretty much sad "screw it" and sat down. But I wouldn't be able to do that if I had no where to sit.

MollyandD

Maggie0829 said:

Molly&Domenic said:

I went to a wedding and had to stand. I had to stand for absolutely no reason, too.

The venue was a church, and there was no shortage of seating. We all stood for the bride, and for some crazy reason, the minister never let us sit back down! Some people started to, and he asked us to remain standing. It made no sense, and was horribly uncomfortable for some of the elderly guests and for my aunt who has diabetes that causes major pain her feet. 

I really don't think the bride and groom realized that the preacher would have said that, because they were wonderful hosts other than this. They chose a good place with plenty of seating for both the ceremony and the reception. If I were to find out that this had been their choice, I'd be very upset, but I don't think that was the case. They are both very sensitive about the special needs and comfort of those around them. 

Standing during a wedding is uncomfortable and irritating for me, a perfectly healthy and in shape woman. I was 22 or 23 at this wedding. I can only imagine how much worse it was for others who are not in the best shape, have medical conditions, or are elderly. 

This happened to me once as well. One would think, well just sit down, but no one wanted to be the first to do it and no one wanted to sit in case the preacher was getting to that point. So we stood for the whole 30 minute ceremony. It sucked so bad. Right towards the end I pretty much sad "screw it" and sat down. But I wouldn't be able to do that if I had no where to sit.

Exactly. We could have just lowered down, but it was awkward to be "that person" who ignored the preacher. 

soontobemrshamilton

wow, this is good to know. I didn't really think too much into it, just that it would be odd to have everyone stand. Thanks for the advice!!

CMGragain

Please don't do this!  If I was a guest, I would be very angry if I had to stand through your ceremony!

mysticl

Molly&Domenic said:

I went to a wedding and had to stand. I had to stand for absolutely no reason, too.

The venue was a church, and there was no shortage of seating. We all stood for the bride, and for some crazy reason, the minister never let us sit back down! Some people started to, and he asked us to remain standing. It made no sense, and was horribly uncomfortable for some of the elderly guests and for my aunt who has diabetes that causes major pain her feet. 

I really don't think the bride and groom realized that the preacher would have said that, because they were wonderful hosts other than this. They chose a good place with plenty of seating for both the ceremony and the reception. If I were to find out that this had been their choice, I'd be very upset, but I don't think that was the case. They are both very sensitive about the special needs and comfort of those around them. 

Standing during a wedding is uncomfortable and irritating for me, a perfectly healthy and in shape woman. I was 22 or 23 at this wedding. I can only imagine how much worse it was for others who are not in the best shape, have medical conditions, or are elderly. 

I was at a wedding like that too.  The efficient did't ask people to stay standing but since the family of the bride and groom were standing everyone else had to in order to see.  This was outside. In August. In Florida. I gave up and sat down. 

As for the OP's question.  Yes, I have been to a wedding that only had seating for the elderly. I was about 25 at that time and had a fairly physical job so the standing didn't bother me.  However, it's over a decade later and I would totally be cursing the bride's name if it happened today.  Also, at the standing wedding I was at everyone was just kind of clumped together, like they had all just happened to show up in the same place. It kind of took away from the formality of the wedding and other than the standing it was a pretty formal wedding.  

Viczaesar

soontobemrshamilton said:

We just booked our venue for our summer 2015 wedding...yay so excited. We love, love, love the venue, but there was one little thing I didn't like about the ceremony part. And that is,our guests will be standing. We can have a few chairs for the elderly, but everyone else will be standing around. I've never seen or been to a standing ceremony. 

It's not going to be a long ceremony (non religious) so they won't have to stand long, but I guess it's just weird to me, because that's not what I am used to. The ceremony is outside, but we have an option of inside with chairs, but outside is so much prettier.

Have you been to one? Or had one yourself? How did it turn out?

That is not okay, not by a long shot.  You cannot make your guests stand during your ceremony.  It's one of the rudest things you can do to your guests.

QueerFemme

I agree with everyone else, you need to move it inside, or talk to the venue about providing more chairs. 

Even a very short ceremony is 15 minutes.  People will arrive 15-30 minutes early, so that means they will be standing for 45 minutes.   Most will be dressed up.   I always tell people, go put on a dress and heels, carry your purse or coat, and go stand in your front yard for 45 minutes in one spot.   I promise, after you do this, you will not want to subject your guests to this.

NYCMercedes

soontobemrshamilton said:

wow, this is good to know. I didn't really think too much into it, just that it would be odd to have everyone stand. Thanks for the advice!!

Hey everybody, she got it!

QueerFemme

NYCMercedes said:

soontobemrshamilton said:

wow, this is good to know. I didn't really think too much into it, just that it would be odd to have everyone stand. Thanks for the advice!!

Hey everybody, she got it!

My bad. I didn't see her response.

MairePoppy

soontobemrshamilton  thank you for listening. That makes us happy.

Majelin86

I went to a standing ceremony once and wasn't a fan. The bride was late and we ended up standing for about 30-40mins. The whole time I was thinking "man it would be nice to have a chair right now." I think you should try to get chairs somehow.

Marzipan13

Think of it this way as well - you never know (and can never predict) who will break their leg, have surgery, etc etc right before your wedding but still come because they love & support you.  The very least you can do is have a seat for everybody.