No one to really be bridesmaids

fall2015bride

I posted this somewhere else but I think it makes more sense to post it here. I don't really have anyone to be my bridesmaid/s and I want to have at least one but I wish I could have at least 2! I've always imagined my wedding with bridesmaids. FI's at least got his brother to be his best man. I have no sisters, my cousins all live far away in another state and they are too busy with their own lives to even respond to my emails. (rolling my eyes) I don't have any girlfriends. FI has no sisters and only one female cousin-in-law. My brother recently got married but his wife is much much older than me and I don't feel close to her. Not to be rude, but I don't really want her as an option. 

I've been thinking for months now about asking FI's cousin-in-law (who also lives out of state but expressed that she will come to our wedding) She and I have been emailing back and fourth but we don't know each other too well. We attended her wedding 3 years ago and she does show interest in our wedding. I just don't know if it would be weird to ask her? Part of me feels like it would be weird because we just started talking about 6 months ago via email. My other idea was asking another cousin of mine who lives out of state (one of them that never responds to me) but I worry about drama with her because a few years back ago she asked me to be a BM in her wedding and I said yes. I had to back out due to a work situation at the time. I felt horrible about it and there could be some resentment there.

I don't know what to do!!!! I don't even know if it's too early to ask? FI intends on asking his brother and he will probably do that sooner rather than later because he lives out of state. Any advice? I've got to have someone! Like I said, part of it feels weird with FI's cousin-in-law just because we aren't super close. But we will be family and I'm not any closer to my own cousins.

fall2015bride

Oh, I forgot to mention asking my brother to stand with me will be my last option as I've thought about that. I've just always envisioned brides'maids' and feel sort of silly standing there with 3 guys in all the pictures (FI, FI's brother/my brother)

AddieCake

Our wedding party was all female except for the ring bearer. I would say just don't worry about having anyone b/c you shouldn't ask people just so you will have bridesmaids, but if it is causing you this much distress, then I suggest choosing a couple of the women you mentioned and asking them. If you don't have any other options, you will have to either ask them or go without.

Nymeru

The whole reason to have bridesmaids is to have those closest to you share in the wedding.  If your brother fits that description, just ask him to stand with you.  It really seems like you're stretching to find girls and that none of the ones you mentioned are really people you're that excited about.  If this is truly the case, don't rope yourself into the situation of asking people you don't really care about who then feel awkward/obligated to agree when maybe they don't want to do it either.  That's the sort of negative energy you DON'T want to deal with.  Weddings are stressful.  Keep it simple as much as you can.

Plus, you've got over a year until your wedding.  Who knows?  In the next six months you might meet a totally awesome friend or two who fit the bill. 

fall2015bride

I wouldn't say I'm stretching. I really like FI's cousin-in-law. I just didn't know if it was weird to ask because of the relation in family and because we aren't super close at this time. I think she's great though!

lilacck28

fall2015bride said:

I wouldn't say I'm stretching. I really like FI's cousin-in-law. I just didn't know if it was weird to ask because of the relation in family and because we aren't super close at this time. I think she's great though!

If you want to ask her, ask her. She may find it weird/ surprising since you've admitted you aren't that close, but if you're fine with that, then go for it. 

fall2015bride

I guess I've got time to weigh my options that I've mentioned above. Just wanted some opinions from everyone. Who knows, maybe I will get closer to the cousin-in-law and maybe I wont. I'm going to see her in October at another wedding. Maybe I'll see how it goes with her then and think about my cousin as another option and my brother as the backup option.