September 2014 Weddings

Totally Stressing

I am stressing out.... Beyond everything....

My mom is trying to take over my wedding.  She keeps making "suggestions" about what she wants at the wedding and they are starting to get out of hand.
I know I am late at starting the planning process, in fact we just decided about a month ago we were going to get married on Sept. 13th.  I am honoring both sides of my family because my mom's parents were married in the church we are getting married in, and we are getting married the Saturday we would have celebrated my dad's mom's birthday.  She passed away 10 years ago this year and around her birthday everyone is always depressed.  
My MOH has 2 kids and the only time I can really talk to her is late at night when she gets her kids to bed.  My other 2 bridesmaids 1 is in another state and the other has 2 kids as well, works night shift and goes to school during the day.  So relying on my bridesmaids is kinda hard to do to de-stress.  
My fiance is awesome about the whole thing.  Me and him have been together nearly 8 years.  He waited for me to finish up my bachelors degree while I went to college in another state and we had set a date about 6 months after I graduated but sadly we had to put his mom into the nursing home because of how severe her MS became.  So our savings for our wedding went to get her into the nursing home.  

No we have never lived together, I live with my parents and he lives on his own.  Over the past few years he was with his step-dad for a while until his mom got kicked out of the nursing home, then he moved in with is sister then into the place we found together.  His parents has no money, his mom is on disability and his dad works at wal-mart so pretty much the wedding is up to us.  If my parents help, mom believes that gives her the right to do everything the way she wants it.  I have totally different tastes than she does so I'm taking her "suggestions" with a grain of salt and ex-lax.  

I just finished my my M.Ed last month and decided it was time.  So my fiance and I both decided the sooner the better.  We actually picked out my wedding ring back around Valentine's day and I just ordered his but I will have it in time for the wedding.  

A small wedding is out of the question because I am the only granddaughter on one side of the family and the youngest granddaughter on the other.  The granddaughter of a pastor and on the other side a deacon.  So I have to stick to most traditions, one I am going to be breaking is the solid white wedding dress.  I'm thinking about getting a dress similar to Alfred Angelo 1516.  White with Red.  

Here is where I am with my planning
We have a location
We have our rings
We have some decorations
I have my bridesmaid gifts and making their sashes for their dresses (NEED THEIR MEASUREMENTS FOR THE SASH FIRST!!!!)
BMS and MOH have ordered their dresses
I have some decorations and some flowers
A friend is giving us her timeshare this year so there is our honeymoon (Orlando, FL) as much as I don't like the beach...
Flower girl dress has been ordered and already have the pedals
We have both picked out the wedding party.
We are not going to have assigned seats at all, wedding or reception.  There is no point in it we have been together so long everybody already knows everyone.
Out of state guests will primarily be at my parents' house camping in the yard with the exception of like 3 in which they will be staying at my fiance's house.
I asked my mom to make the cake now whether or not she screws it up is a different story.

Guest list is still up in the air!!!  AHHHH!!!!  Place can only accommodate around 100 people, guest list for me is over 100 people *why do I have such a huge family*

We still have not decided a time for our wedding yet....
I still don't have a dress
No clue on what my fiance and groomsmen and ring bearer are going to wear
Have no idea on what we are going to do with the invitations, have not bought or ordered them.

Re: Totally Stressing

  • Everything will come together, I promise! I'd start looking for a dress in case you need to order it, that seemed to take the longest for me. I think it's normal for moms to give their suggestions more than anyone would like; however, take it with a grain of salt (I know it's hard!) and tell her when you have decided on things for sure. Maybe give her smaller projects to focus on. Congrats on your Master's degree! Enjoy your day : )
  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You sound like you have a decent amount planned already. I would start looking at dresses ASAP if you haven't already. Some designers take several months to get in, which you don't really have. I got my dress at David's Bridal and it was in within 2 weeks. I am getting married on 9/6 and we haven't fully decided what FI and the GM will wear yet. As for invitations, I would look at stores like Hobby Lobby, Michaels, and Jo-Anne Fabrics for DIY invite kits.  We got our invite kits from Hobby Lobby when they were on sale and got them for $10 a box. You print them off on your own printer.  It was super easy and they look great.  They have a lot of different designs to chose from.  Wal Mart also has some.

    Also, if your mom isn't paying for the wedding, then she really has no say in what goes on.

  • I know she doesn't have much say in the matter.  I have my dress, it is being altered as we speak I go pick it up on the 25th of this month after I get off of work.  I did not go after the white and red dress, another dress would have to had been ordered because they did not have it in my size and it may not have been finished in time for my wedding.  I ended up getting a dress from David's Bridal and it only needed 1 small alteration.  I got lucky, my dress was on sale for $499, the 1 alteration was only $15!  For that $15 I'm getting a free $40 steam clean!  
  • edited July 2014
    Girl I feel ya!
    We decided to shotgun the wedding due to his parents' age and health. We have everything set except a location. Right now we're arguing over location--we're both from different states but live in NC due to military orders. My dad is having major spinal surgery in a week. His parents are in their late 70s. My argument is to have it at my dad's because 9/6 is before my dad's estimated recovery time so he may not be able to walk. He's not allowed in a car per dr recommendation until Oct 1. I have a fairly large family (30 total), he has a total of 6 family members. If we have it at my dad's the neighbor is lending us their summer home for the weekend for our out-of-town guests (his family). If we have it at his family's house, only my dad and 2/4 siblings will be there--no one else can make it. His parents REFUSE to go. We offered to drive them and take breaks instead of going 15hrsbstraight. They keep giving excuses. They love me (or at least act like it!) so I don't think they're against it...idk it's stressing me!!

    Oh yeah---I have to make a wedding gown and keep it under $100 because we can't afford to buy one. 39 days to go and I need a location and a dress ...

    I love "take it with a grain of salt and ex-lax"!!! Lol I guess let her hve her suggestions, but essentially do what you want. It's YOUR day. Don't forget to include your fiancé. Mine has a lot of ideas that he wants, so I compromise. So at I've let him have the first dance song (Elvis grrr), outside decorations, food, and I even made his daughter my MOH as per his request. Only fair I get MY location right?! Lol this is his 3rd freaking marriage.
  • Dress - Go dress shopping THIS weekend if you can. Some dresses have to be ordered in, so you want to make time for that. Or...try going to a bridal consignment shop. So many brides donate their once-used wedding gowns there, and you get them for 50% less (or more) than the original cost. You may very well find the dress of your dreams for cheap!

    Fiance/groomsmen/ring bearer- Have your fiance and his groomsmen and ring bearer head over to Men's Warehouse to get fitted (this weekend too, if possible), and then see what options they have. We got a great deal because they had "Buy one suit, get a suit", so we got it all for half. You can also rent there, if need be, but the cost to buy is sometimes less expensive.

    Invitations- I used to find cute invites. The people on there will design them for you, and you get them printed and sent fairly quickly (depending on who you go with). They are also a decent price. Some are also print-ready meaning they design them for you, then send you the PDF and you get them printed. Might save time that way. Of course-- when you design the invites, then set the time for your wedding. 

    Guests- Start by inviting immediate family and your close uncles/aunts/cousins. Then...see how much wiggle room you have for everyone else. If you can really only invite 100 to the wedding, invite the others to JUST the reception.

    As far as everything else, even though it seems hectic, you are doing GREAT. Hang in there, and good luck!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • Hey, I was wondering what state you're getting married in? My husband & I are getting into wedding videography (we are video people/editors but were in the music video field) & if you live in California I would love to film your wedding for free! I know how stressful planning can be so if you're interested please let me know!
  • @severmilli12
    we decided to just wait and have it next year! There was so much going on...
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