Pre-wedding Parties

Very low attendance at my bridal shower

I just had my first bridal shower and am very hurt and embarrassed that only 2 of my friends showed up. A few cancelled the day of but most told me in advance. Because of Facebook, I am able to see what those people that said they could not attend are doing instead. None of which, to me, seems all that important. To me, it feels like everyone found something "better" to do instead of support me. I don't care about the presents, I am just sad and confused as to why these people don't care about me. I should mention that this was the "friends" shower so only my friends and my mom's friends were invited. Out of 30 only 7 came. 5 of which were my moms friends. I wish I knew how to express to the others how hurt I am by them blowing me off.

Re: Very low attendance at my bridal shower

  • I am terribly sorry that your friends hurt you this way.  I cannot take that away, would if I could because a bride should only know happiness.  You will wallow for a while, which is part of healing.  Once you are ready to start feeling better, focus on the loving people who did show up for you.  Who were these special ladies?  Are you writing heartfelt thank you notes to let them know how much it meant to you that they gave up their time to come support and love you?  Can you invite mom and the two friends out for lunch or spend more time with them?  Keep bringing positive activities into your life and focus on those and the man you are marrying.  I hate to sound trite, but time will heal this and you will be a beautiful bride.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    That is a bummer. I would be hurt, too. That being said, I'm sure it's not that they don't care about you. To be perfectly honest, a lot of people find showers boring. Also, do you know that they didn't already have these plans before being invited to your shower? 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • At my "friends" shower, I told/made sure the guests I was worried about--college students--knew that their presence was their present and they didn't have to bring anything to celebrate. One friend told my MOH she was relieved because she wanted to come but couldn't buy a gift at that time. If you have future showers, you may want to find an appropriate and private way for guests who may be having financial difficulties to know that they are welcome. As for people not coming because they don't care...I don't look forward to bridal showers for people who aren't my close friends. I either RSVP no, or go but leave before any games or it gets long. Especially if I have to travel really far. That's for close friends only.
  • I am sorry your feelings were hurt, but I highly doubt that they did not show because "these people don't care about you".  I don't mean that to sound harsh, but I think you should take a deep breath and try to step back from the hurt for a moment.  

    There are so many reasons why someone might not attend a bridal shower. Some people do not feel comfortable at bridal showers.  Not everyone enjoys the games, the bride/wedding/marriage conversation, let alone sitting around to watch someone open presents when they may not know anyone else in the room.  Other people may object to the whole idea of a bridal shower where they are obligated to shower someone with pre-wedding presents when they are also anticipating purchasing a present for a wedding.  And yet others may simply not be in a financial situation to buy a present and feel uncomfortable attending an event focused entirely around showering someone with gifts.

    I would never expect a friend to attend a bridal shower to prove she cares about me.  And while you did not mention specifics of where these friends may have been during your shower, I generally do not think it is fair to say what is and is not important for someone else.  Bridal showers have quite a varied meaning and significance to people and while I am sorry that you are feeling this emotional pain, I hope with time you can understand that there are so many factors and opinions when it comes to bridal showers that you should try not to take it personally.  
    casey8784
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