B&G thank you speech

wabanzi

So we are finalizing our (short) thank you speech to give at the reception and was curious on others' thoughts of thanking specific people by name in the speech vs. a more generalized (but still heartfelt) thank you (without names).  

Other than FI's parents and my incredible MoH, I didn't really want to start thanking individual guests in my part of the speech because I feel that no matter how careful I am, someone will feel like they should have been specifically thanked that wasn't.  FI wants to run down a list of names in his portion.  

I'm just curious on everybody's experience...

Nymeru

For our speech, we're acknowledging the major players by name, and then giving a general thank you to everyone else.  Very few people have actually been part of the process, so we feel we can do this without offending anyone.  If you've had a lot of help though, I'd keep it general unless someone has truly gone above and beyond.

Maggie0829

I don't like speeches that call out specific individuals.  Everyone at your wedding is there to support your marriage and to celebrate with you so calling out specific people to thank is almost like you are listing your guests in order of importance or the level in which you love them.

The place to thank individual people is in your thank you cards.

McCMal

We're planning on thanking by name, but we only have my parents, his parents and two aunts who have been active in the planning so we will do a quick thank you to them including what the did (Aunts did cake and wine), and a more general thank you to everyone else for coming. We are also thanking our 'kitchen crew' because they are friends and coworkers of my mom who have generously offered their time for our wedding. We just need to find a better phrase than 'kitchen crew'. 

The last wedding I went to, the groom said thank you to his parents, and everyone who came, then handed the microphone to his bride and she slurred 'he summed it up' and handed away the microphone. 

wabanzi

Nymeru said:

For our speech, we're acknowledging the major players by name, and then giving a general thank you to everyone else.  Very few people have actually been part of the process, so we feel we can do this without offending anyone.  If you've had a lot of help though, I'd keep it general unless someone has truly gone above and beyond.

This is my situation, which is why I only wanted to specify his parents and sister (my MoH).   But I thought maybe I was off on this one since FI wanted to "list."  I don't want to dictate his portion…maybe we can figure a middle ground somewhere.  I do want our two parts to ultimately mesh, of course.

Maybe I could suggest him giving the "naming" speech at the rehearsal?  Is that done?  I can't figure out why he want to specifically thank these people…they certainly didn't do anything for the wedding other than show up.

wabanzi

McCMal said:

We're planning on thanking by name, but we only have my parents, his parents and two aunts who have been active in the planning so we will do a quick thank you to them including what the did (Aunts did cake and wine), and a more general thank you to everyone else for coming. We are also thanking our 'kitchen crew' because they are friends and coworkers of my mom who have generously offered their time for our wedding. We just need to find a better phrase than 'kitchen crew'. 

The last wedding I went to, the groom said thank you to his parents, and everyone who came, then handed the microphone to his bride and she slurred 'he summed it up' and handed away the microphone. 

Thank goodness I don't drink :-)

offensivekitten2

I ditto not naming names. My DH still to this day is upset with himself for forgetting to thank his parents when he listed people. Poor guy

Jen4948

I also agree with not naming names-the speech can go on too long if you do that and there are lots of people to name.

CMGragain

Are you hosting your own wedding?  The welcome speech is usually made by the host.  The bride and groom must speak to each guest and thank them for coming individually, often in the reception line, or by table visits.  If your parents are hosting, you thank them privately, and write them a thank you note (which they will probably treasure forever!)  I have not seen the couple thank people with a speech.  It is a wedding, not the Academy Awards.

wabanzi

offensivekitten2 said:

I ditto not naming names. My DH still to this day is upset with himself for forgetting to thank his parents when he listed people. Poor guy

Oh no :-(  I can see myself doing that.  

Jen4948 said:

I also agree with not naming names-the speech can go on too long if you do that and there are lots of people to name.

Yes, I think FI just want to thank them for being friends (great now I have that song in my head). I'll talk with him and we will get this worked out.

CMGragain said:

Are you hosting your own wedding?  The welcome speech is usually made by the host.  The bride and groom must speak to each guest and thank them for coming individually, often in the reception line, or by table visits.  If your parents are hosting, you thank them privately, and write them a thank you note (which they will probably treasure forever!)  I have not seen the couple thank people with a speech.  It is a wedding, not the Academy Awards.

Obviously we are the hosts or we wouldn't be giving the speech.  And it has nothing to do with (or replacing) receiving lines/table visits/thank you cards. It is a question of speech styles. And yes, this is a tradition we plan to honor.

CMGragain

wabanzi sObviously we are the hosts or we wouldn't be giving the speech.  And it has nothing to do with (or replacing) receiving lines/table visits/thank you cards. It is a question of speech styles. And yes, this is a tradition we plan to honor."

Speech styles?  I don't understand this.  Since you are the hosts, you should simply welcome your guests to the reception and thank them for coming.  Naming names isn't usually done.

theartistformerlyknownas

I would keep it general - "we thank you all for coming, it means so much to have you all here, yadda yadda, we're so thankful to all of you who helped with so many details leading up to today." Those people know who they are, but you still won't be making your other guests feel less-appreciated for just, ya know, traveling however long and bringing a gift and whatever other sacrifices they made to be there. And you won't leave anyone out.

And yes, you can give a more specific thank you speech to your parents and WP at your RD. 

wabanzi

lolo883 said:

I would keep it general - "we thank you all for coming, it means so much to have you all here, yadda yadda, we're so thankful to all of you who helped with so many details leading up to today." Those people know who they are, but you still won't be making your other guests feel less-appreciate for just, ya know, traveling however long and bringing a gift and whatever other sacrifices they made to be there. And you won't leave anyone out.

And yes, you can give a more specific thank you speech to your parents and WP at your RD. 

I think you stole my speech :-)  I think I can convince FI to do his "name list- speech" at the rehearsal dinner (we are hosting that too).  

PrettyGirlLost

CMGragain said:

Are you hosting your own wedding?  The welcome speech is usually made by the host.  The bride and groom must speak to each guest and thank them for coming individually, often in the reception line, or by table visits.  If your parents are hosting, you thank them privately, and write them a thank you note (which they will probably treasure forever!)  I have not seen the couple thank people with a speech.  It is a wedding, not the Academy Awards.

Nowadays the Bride and Groom often briefly thank everyone for attending at the end of the night. I think it's a very polite and kind gesture.

RebeccaFlower

Maggie0829 said:

I don't like speeches that call out specific individuals.  Everyone at your wedding is there to support your marriage and to celebrate with you so calling out specific people to thank is almost like you are listing your guests in order of importance or the level in which you love them.

The place to thank individual people is in your thank you cards.

I agree with this. We did a very short thank you and people really liked it. Even the venue coordinator said that was the first time she'd seen it done.

Nymeru

Whatever it is that you decide to do, I'd keep it concise, brief, but meaningful.  Heartfelt speeches are wonderful, but long, drawn-out speeches (especially ones that contain a never-ending list of names) are very hard to listen to.  The adult in me sits quietly, but I stop listening and fully check out once I realize the speech is never going to end.  I begin fantasizing about slipping the DJ a $20 bill to start playing music like they do at the Oscars to get people off the stage.  Immature, yes, but that's what I do every single time the speech is too long.  Maybe bring it to your FI's attention that if he has an excessively long list of people to go through, all it will really do is highlight everyone he didn't mention.

manateehugger

Though we are not technically the hosts, my FI is planning on giving a brief welcome and a blessing before dinner because he wanted to. Sue me.

 I agree on the non-calling out names. "Thank you everyone for coming to share the day with us and thank you again to those who helped make this day possible." Otherwise it turns into those awkward Oscar speeches that list everyone no one knows.

I see brief "thank you, parents, for raising us and helping us become who we are blah blah" notes in programs often enough. I think those are fine.