What do we think of this?

KatieinBkln

I'm invited to my friend's wedding in July. It looks to be a lovely affair despite a few side-eye-worthy things (HM registry hedged by "the best gift is your presence, please don't feel like you have to buy a gift at all" which almost makes it worse, somehow). My question is about an event they are doing the night before the wedding. All guests are invited to an "after-dinner" event, which sounds awesome and fun. They mention that there will be snacks available and that there will be a cash bar. 

I know we aren't nuts about cash bars. I know all the reasons why that is. But to me it felt less offensive knowing that they're offering anything at all the night before the wedding. Like, they didn't have to do that at all. So is it NBD? Huge breach? I'm finding myself not that bothered, and pleased that I was made aware in advance so I bring $$, but...I'm also thinking that it's something I wouldn't do. And, as we've all discussed, personal reactions are not always the best gauge for determining best practices. What do we all think?

ashley8918

Eh, I wouldn't be offended by it. But i don't think that makes it okay. If it's a hosted event, it should be just that: hosted.

theartistformerlyknownas

Ehhhhh... I think they're handling it kind of poorly. I'd make that more of a "we'll be hanging out at such-n-such after the RD if anyone would like to join us!" kind of announcement rather than an invitation to something that they're "hosting"-but-not-really. 

Inkdancer

Yeah, it sounds like they just failed to phrase it right. I think their hearts are in the right place.

jdluvr06

Their hearts are in the right place but they didn't word it right.

AddieCake

Yeah, they just should have worded it differently. Not a huge deal for that particular event.

NYCBruin

Agree with PPs, there isn't really anything wrong with this other than the way they presented it. Very low on the scale of etiquette breaches IMHO

pinkcow13

Not the greatest thing, but not the worst. The good intention is there, I guess.

KatieinBkln

I guess I should mention it's a boat cruise. So they did have to arrange it as a specific "thing" they're doing. I think that's what was initially throwing me. But as I said, I'm just pumped to hang out the evening before!

SBmini

It's really cool of them to arrange an entertaining evening for guests in addition to the wedding. That is way above and beyond. I wouldn't think twice about going and buying my own drinks. The thought alone is great.

BlackLace2015

I don't see much wrong with it other than the fact I wouldn't want everyone hung over and partied-out at my wedding lol

KatieinBkln

SBmini said:

It's really cool of them to arrange an entertaining evening for guests in addition to the wedding. That is way above and beyond. I wouldn't think twice about going and buying my own drinks. The thought alone is great.

Yes! See, that's what my initial instinct was--then all the etiquette stuff I've learned here started muddling my brain.