Small ceremony/reception- Large separate after party

mrsrael62015

Not sure if this makes sense..but!

My grandparents live in a beautiful home over looking a huge valley in Escondido. The back yard is literally perfect for a small wedding and FREE thanks to them being my favorites :P...anyway... I'm really limited on how many guests I can invite since it's a one bathroom downstairs home with not much parking and a small patio, deck, and backyard area. 

Ultimately, I would love to have close friends and family at my ceremony/reception (both will be at the house) and then a separate party for all our friends that couldnt' come plus the ones that could. Sort of a BBQ style situation.

I've heard this has been done but I haven't found too much info about it or the polite way to execute this. 

Any and all tips are extremely helpful.

Thank you!!

NYCMercedes

Knottie93455776 said:

Not sure if this makes sense..but!

My grandparents live in a beautiful home over looking a huge valley in Escondido. The back yard is literally perfect for a small wedding and FREE thanks to them being my favorites :P...anyway... I'm really limited on how many guests I can invite since it's a one bathroom downstairs home with not much parking and a small patio, deck, and backyard area. 

Ultimately, I would love to have close friends and family at my ceremony/reception (both will be at the house) and then a separate party for all our friends that couldnt' come plus the ones that could. Sort of a BBQ style situation.

I've heard this has been done but I haven't found too much info about it or the polite way to execute this. 

Any and all tips are extremely helpful.

Thank you!!

What you are considering is highly inappropriate because you are reminding your not close friends that they are not close friends. That is why you "haven't found too much info about it or the polite way to execute this". 

Choose which style of wedding you want: small at your favorite grandparent's place or a large BBQ. 

mrsrael62015

I don't want a BBQ style wedding. The idea behind that was to have a party separate a few weeks later with all of our friends that couldn't be a part of the intimate close knit style wedding we have planned. 

I don't see an issue with having a separate celebration weeks earlier or weeks after to share with those friends. I love the park idea and that's going to be a possibility for the after wedding party. 

I appreciate your feedback, I guess I'm nontradional when it comes to this stuff.

mrsrael62015

Also, I found the idea of this on this website...so obviously it's been done in a polite way..

http://www.moneycrashers.com/cheap-budget-wedding-venues-ceremony-reception/

Viczaesar

mrsrael62015 said:

Also, I found the idea of this on this website...so obviously it's been done in a polite way..

http://www.moneycrashers.com/cheap-budget-wedding-venues-ceremony-reception/

What exactly about the site "moneycrashers.com" indicates that it's been done in a polite way?

mrsrael62015

You guys are so helpful. I'll be sure to come back with all my questions. Have a great day.

mysticl

Viczaesar said:

mrsrael62015 said:

Also, I found the idea of this on this website...so obviously it's been done in a polite way..

http://www.moneycrashers.com/cheap-budget-wedding-venues-ceremony-reception/

What exactly about the site "moneycrashers.com" indicates that it's been done in a polite way?

Heck it doesn't even say it's been done.  

LondonLisa

It is ok to have a party weeks later as long as that is a completely separate event. This isn't your wedding part 2 so nothing "Wedding-y" such as no gown, bridal party, first dance, and definitely no gifts. Also, it works better if you keep your wedding really, really small (like under 20-30peole). You send out invites after you wedding and don't have any wedding trappings, this is just a party and you are a wife, not a bride at this point.

LondonLisa

Ok, I just saw you wanted to do them in the same place- yeah, that is inappropriate! If you can have everyone there for a BBQ, why can't you have everyone at your wedding?

AddieCake

Am I missing something? She doesn't want the BBQ weeks later at her grandparents' house. She wants it at a park. What's wrong with this plan? We tell people all the time they can have a party later. 

ETA: Anybody can have a party any time they want; just don't attach it to the wedding in any way. 

jenna8984

AddieCake said:

Am I missing something? She doesn't want the BBQ weeks later at her grandparents' house. She wants it at a park. What's wrong with this plan? We tell people all the time they can have a party later. 

ETA: Anybody can have a party any time they want; just don't attach it to the wedding in any way. 

I agree with this. It's perfectly fine to have a BBQ but just call it "We're hosting our first BBQ as husband and wife" not "Our wedding BBQ" because then it gives the impression to people hey, come to this secondary wedding because you weren't good enough to make it to the real one.

LondonLisa

AddieCake said:

Am I missing something? She doesn't want the BBQ weeks later at her grandparents' house. She wants it at a park. What's wrong with this plan? We tell people all the time they can have a party later. 

ETA: Anybody can have a party any time they want; just don't attach it to the wedding in any way. 

Addie, I read it as she wanted to have a second wedding BBQ reception at the same house where the wedding was, but I am confused as to if it was at the same venue or not. As I said, I think it is fine to do a separate BBQ party, but not a wedding part 2. I agree: Party= Awesome! Wedding celebration 2.0 = thumbs down. 

mrsrael62015 could you clarify? Thanks!

slothiegal

AddieCake said:

Am I missing something? She doesn't want the BBQ weeks later at her grandparents' house. She wants it at a park. What's wrong with this plan? We tell people all the time they can have a party later. 

ETA: Anybody can have a party any time they want; just don't attach it to the wedding in any way. 

That's how I interpreted it; if that's so, that's fine OP.  Like @jenna8984, just word it in a way that does not indicate any wedding happenings...just "our first celebration as husband and wife!".

I think people were just confused with the wording with the post, which is why you got some of the responses you did (none of which I found particularly snarky).