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Approve my tipping plan?

melbensomelbenso member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Just checking in to see whether people think this is a reasonable tipping plan:

Bartender and servers at our wedding will make "slightly more than [standard, not server] minimum wage" per hour. My rough estimate is $8.50 per server per hour, $9-9.50 for bartender, based on what DOC told me. She also told me tipping wasn't necessary. But having had many friends in the service industry, I want to tip them something.

Servers will be serving a salad course and dinner to roughly 25 people each. One bartender would serve drink to about 95 drinking adults for approximately 6 hours.

I was thinking I'd tip the servers $50 each and the bartender $250-300.

Under these circumstances, what would you tip?
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Re: Approve my tipping plan?

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    mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    melbenso said:
    Just checking in to see whether people think this is a reasonable tipping plan: Bartender and servers at our wedding will make "slightly more than [standard, not server] minimum wage" per hour. My rough estimate is $8.50 per server per hour, $9-9.50 for bartender, based on what DOC told me. She also told me tipping wasn't necessary. But having had many friends in the service industry, I want to tip them something. Servers will be serving a salad course and dinner to roughly 25 people each. One bartender would serve drink to about 95 drinking adults for approximately 6 hours. I was thinking I'd tip the servers $50 each and the bartender $250-300. Under these circumstances, what would you tip?
    We didn't tip any of those people.  The tip was built into the contract, that could be why she told you it wasn't needed. 
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    lilacck28lilacck28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2014
    If you're assuming $1-2 dollar tip for the bartender for 95 people who each get at least one drink, plus some who drink more than one drink, then I think that sounds about right. 

    It seems a little strange to me that the servers are only getting tipped $2 per plate. But that is based on normal restaurant tipping, where the servers are usually NOT making minimum wage... no idea what wedding tipping usually entails. And, the prospect of shelling out another $500 or more on tips does make me cringe, even though ethically it should not. 

    Overall, your plan seems fine, except for the fact that it seems like you are using normal restaurant tipping for the bartender but not for the servers. Though, the even $1-2 per person being served for bartenders and servers alike seems like it could be a good fair way of figuring it out. Yeah. It's late and my brain is fried. Sorry, this probably wasn't helpful. 

    And yeah, check to make sure gratuity for servers is not included in your contract. 
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    I would increase the servers to $75-100.  But that might be when I was a server I thought a "bad" night would be making less than $100.    

    Banquet servers rarely just serve the meal.  They normally come in hours before the event to setup the tables and stay hours later breaking it all down.    And when I say setup I mean moving tables, chairs, setting the tables.  Then breaking it all down after the event.  We had a wedding last weekend where the servers showed up at 2-3pm for a 6pm wedding and they left around 1-2am.


    Bartenders tips sound right.


    ETA - She might have said tipping is not necessary because there is a service charge..  If that is the case then I would keep the servers at $50 and lower the bartender tip (but there is noting wrong with giving more if you feel like they went above and beyond).   At least all the places I've worked the servers and bartenders get most (if not all) of the service charge.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    melbensomelbenso member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    The contract does not explicitly include a tip. There is a 20% service charge as a part of the contract. There is also a separate $30/hour charge for the bartender - though I'm sure that doesn't all go to the bartender.

    Servers and bartender are making more than double the standard server wage per hour.
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    We had to pay $30 per staff member (regardless of their job), per hour for a min of 8 hours (although they worked more like 10-12 hours).     No service charge.  I do not know how much they got of that $30, but I know they made good money.  

      We tipped the servers $100 each and the bartenders $200 each.     We also tipped other staff who normally do not get tipped, but our wedding was unique (in a tropical storm, under a tent, off property for the staff.)   We felt everyone went above and beyond and tipped accordingly.

    I would ask if the staff gets any of the service charge. If yes, Iower what you are giving the bartender.  If not, then I would raise what you are giving the servers.  









    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    melbenso said:
    The contract does not explicitly include a tip. There is a 20% service charge as a part of the contract. There is also a separate $30/hour charge for the bartender - though I'm sure that doesn't all go to the bartender. Servers and bartender are making more than double the standard server wage per hour.
    On my contract, service charge = tip split by everyone. 
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    Alikat9614Alikat9614 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    lolo883 said:
    melbenso said:
    The contract does not explicitly include a tip. There is a 20% service charge as a part of the contract. There is also a separate $30/hour charge for the bartender - though I'm sure that doesn't all go to the bartender. Servers and bartender are making more than double the standard server wage per hour.
    On my contract, service charge = tip split by everyone. 

    ^This. Our 20% service charge is gratuity, too. The waitstaff's hourly is above regular minimum wage (not the $2.13 server), so they should be pretty well taken care of. FI and I have both worked in restaurants/banquet jobs so we may tip a bit extra anyway.
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    photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    I was going to tip extra, DH had cash to do so, but they waitstaff was terrible, I mean really terrible, and the bartenders put out tip jars behind the bar that were full of cash by the end of the night, despite us telling the venue we did not want tip jars out. So we did not tip anything on top of the service charge we already paid.

    We were told before the wedding the servers were paid very well.

    Moral of the story - tip after the wedding for them doing a good job. And make sure they don't have tip jars out if you are going to tip them - double check early in the night, don't wait to notice til the end like me. :-(
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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