NWR S/O: Touchy-feeliness

JCbride2015

I read <<this article>> and it made me think of our thread from a week or two ago, about whether we are touchy feely.  Do those of you who normally like a lot of personal space feel differently when it's a paying situation?  I'm thinking yoga class, massage, fitness, tattoos and piercings.

I'm a touchy feely person and for me it's almost essential that a fitness class includes hands-on adjustment from the teacher.  I feel like if I'm not getting the personal attention to my alignment, I'm not really getting my money and effort's worth.  Especially stretching and yoga-- PLEASE help me with active stretching.  It feels so much more effective.  I love getting massages.  The shampoo is my favorite part of a haircut.  

So do you seek out professional situations involving touch, or avoid them?  What about those of you with professions that involve touching-- do you end up feeling more connected to your clients/patients?

pinkshorts27

I'm not touchy feely with anyone but FI. When I am with him, I like to be touching him at all times (holding hands), but that comes from being long-distance right now because we never used to be that way. 

I feel uncomfortable with anyone helping me stretch but FI or close friends. I also hate the shampoo and don't do fitness class, but when I took Pilates I hated my instructor touching me. 

Though when I'm drinking, I cut myself off when I start hugging people.

bethsmiles

I'm very much like @pinkshorts27 . I don't like to be touched by anyone other than SO. I do not pay people to touch me, even getting my nails done feels very awkward to me and they are only touching my hands! My friends always invite me to get massages with them and I cringe at the thought of it!

When I had a personal trainer she was excellent at helping me do thing correctly without touching me. Her helping me stretch would've been really counter-productive since I tend to tense anytime someone touches me. Doctors and dentists constantly tell me to relax (like 5 or 6 times in a single appointment).

jdluvr06

I've been dancing since I was 3. So I pretty much have no bubble. I'm used to people adjusting my posture, feet, waist, arms, ect. I do kind of look for that in a fitness class. I want to be sure I'm doing things right.

doeydo

I'm not a touchy feely person if we're talking person to person contact, but give me a cat or something and I will be all over him or her.

In terms of paid for touching being more OK, I agree immensely.  I had a professional massage and, while I was nervous at first, I could lie there and be massaged by that stranger's hands any day.  I also had physiotherapy before and my physiotherapist helped decompress my spine and different things that were very welcome.

ETA  I never knew that people actually got their hair washed at hair salons, besides old people.

beethery

Massage: fine

FI: Also fine

Others:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyUnSuYYs18

BlackLace2015

If I feel comfortable with someone I can be a little over-feely (touching someones leg while talking for example) LOL. I make fun of myself about it and always apologize. However I do NOT like strangers touching me for extended periods (shampoo, manicure, etc). I have never had a professional massage or a pedicure and I'm not sure if I ever will. My fi and I are extremely touchy feely. Our bodies are pretty much always touching in one way or another LOL

cupcait927

I'm fine with being touched as long as its on my terms - such as a paying situation. Love massages, getting my hair done, manicures, etc. I'll hug friends and be touchy-feely with FI, but this has to be on my terms. FI says I'm like a cat - cats in general dictate when you can pet them, hold them, etc. One minute I won't want to be held or touched and the next I'm practically curled up in his lap. FI is very touchy-feely and would be physically touching me every second we are together if he could but I have very distinct times where I do not want to be touched, by anyone. I also have a hard time with touch if I have a strained relationship with someone, particularly my mother.

hikebikebemerry

I am pretty touchy feely, and I LOVE when I get adjusted, get massages, etc.

emmyg65

I'm not a touchy-feely person at all, but I don't mind professional situation. I like hands-on adjustments for yoga because they're easier to understand, and I've gotten massages, facials, manicures, etc. And tattoos, though that's a very different kind of touch.

larrygaga

I'm a toucher. I am always touching FI and if I'm across the room I'll make it a point to get up and give him hugs and kisses every so often. I like having my hair shampooed and all that. When I'm talking to people sometimes I put my hand on their arm or shoulder. I realize that is not something people like, so I try to be conscious of it. I have been told I'm a flirt because of that. oops! lol

BlackLace2015

larrygaga said:

I'm a toucher. I am always touching FI and if I'm across the room I'll make it a point to get up and give him hugs and kisses every so often. I like having my hair shampooed and all that. When I'm talking to people sometimes I put my hand on their arm or shoulder. I realize that is not something people like, so I try to be conscious of it. I have been told I'm a flirt because of that. oops! lol

YES! I have been accused of flirting for this reason, even though I do it to males AND females. I think my general demeanor makes people think I am flirting. It's such a pain in the ass but I don't know how to stop! I just kid around a lot with people (nothing inappropriate) and people often tell me I make them feel comfy like they've known me for a long time. *shrug*

 

larrygaga

BlackLace2015 said:

larrygaga said:

I'm a toucher. I am always touching FI and if I'm across the room I'll make it a point to get up and give him hugs and kisses every so often. I like having my hair shampooed and all that. When I'm talking to people sometimes I put my hand on their arm or shoulder. I realize that is not something people like, so I try to be conscious of it. I have been told I'm a flirt because of that. oops! lol

YES! I have been accused of flirting for this reason, even though I do it to males AND females. I think my general demeanor makes people think I am flirting. It's such a pain in the ass but I don't know how to stop! I just kid around a lot with people (nothing inappropriate) and people often tell me I make them feel comfy like they've known me for a long time. *shrug*

 

That's what people tell me! I'm a friendly, bubbly person and I tease a lot. If that's flirting than okay, I'll be a flirt.

buttercup1958

Nope no touchy! Ha I always have my bubble. I can get overwhelmed by people easily. I can handle only so much interaction. That's why I never get a massage and/or my toenails done. I'm only touchy feely with V. I can't even hug my parents for very long.

SmileDamnit

doeydo said:

ETA  I never knew that people actually got their hair washed at hair salons, besides old people.

Say whaaaaa??? You're missing out BIG! A good shampoo and a glass of wine/bubbles is thee best part of "hair did day". 

I'm moderately touchy. FI taught me how to love cuddling and I've always been huggy with family/close friends. Professionally I don't mind if it's part of the deal (e.g. exercise, massage, etc.) but not so much with strangers.

pinkcow13

I'm only touchy feely with FI. I love cuddling with him. And the kitties.

 It makes me uncomfortable when people randomly touch me in conversation.

Shampoos I don't mind, and I'm not the biggest fan of massages. And I guess now that I think about it, I seek out fitness activities that don't require touching. Running, kickboxing (once in a while you might be touched, but not much at all), just working out in the gym on my own.

SBmini

You know, I never thought of it! I'm touchy-feely. I like hugging and will often times just reach over and touch my husband's arm if I can't have more. But I never thought about the services I pay for as an extension of that. I probably wasn't afraid of trying massage, acupuncture, PT, etc because I don't mind other people touching me- but I starting doing those things for other reasons. 

As for yoga- I don't really like it when they touch me. It is usually when we're stretching the hamstrings, which are VERY tight on me despite years of yoga. I know I'm not deep in the stretch, I'm going as far as I can go. I don't need your help.

theartistformerlyknownas

I'm on and off touchy. I love snuggling with FI as long as it's not hot out. I hug all my friends and friends' SOs. Love massages, pedicures, shampoos, active stretching. I don't like when strangers randomly touch me, like the people who put their hand on the small of your back when you go through a doorway, or grab your arm when they shake your hand. I DO NOT LIKE when FI is feeling touchy feely and expresses this by petting my leg with his foot like I'm the dog. Keep your feet off me, weirdo.

slothiegal

Oh I have such issues with personal space.  A friend got me a massage as a birthday present one year, telling me, "Oh, you'll love it!"  Yeah about three minutes into it and I had to 

on out of there.  

With FI, and a few select people like my best friend, I'm just a big ol' snuggle puddle.  But strangers in any capacity, be it paid like a yoga instructor or just trying to find room on the Metro...

sarawifenow

I used to manage a massage clinic, so I am all for being touched. (That sounded awkward....)

 

That being said, I am with @lolo883 on the random stranger bit. I actually had a woman come up to me and brush her hand against my cheek. I had a major freak out wtf reaction. She said that my skin looked soft and she "just wanted to see if it was soft". That shit does not fly with me.

cupcait927

SaraBrideSoon said:

I used to manage a massage clinic, so I am all for being touched. (That sounded awkward....)

 

That being said, I am with @lolo883 on the random stranger bit. I actually had a woman come up to me and brush her hand against my cheek. I had a major freak out wtf reaction. She said that my skin looked soft and she "just wanted to see if it was soft". That shit does not fly with me.

beethery

SaraBrideSoon said:

I used to manage a massage clinic, so I am all for being touched. (That sounded awkward....)

 

That being said, I am with @lolo883 on the random stranger bit. I actually had a woman come up to me and brush her hand against my cheek. I had a major freak out wtf reaction. She said that my skin looked soft and she "just wanted to see if it was soft". That shit does not fly with me.

oh my fucking god NO. NO NO NO. STRANGER BITCHES DO NOT GET TO TOUCH. NO NO NO.

I am fucking freaking out THINKING about this.

sarawifenow

Yeah pretty sure I looked something like this....

larrygaga

doeydo said:

I'm not a touchy feely person if we're talking person to person contact, but give me a cat or something and I will be all over him or her.

In terms of paid for touching being more OK, I agree immensely.  I had a professional massage and, while I was nervous at first, I could lie there and be massaged by that stranger's hands any day.  I also had physiotherapy before and my physiotherapist helped decompress my spine and different things that were very welcome.

ETA  I never knew that people actually got their hair washed at hair salons, besides old people.

Where I live I'm not even sure you get a choice if your hair gets washed. I never have been asked, they just lead you over to the sink first thing.

If I were a hair dresser, I would want to only work with washed hair.

larrygaga

SaraBrideSoon said:

I used to manage a massage clinic, so I am all for being touched. (That sounded awkward....)

 

That being said, I am with @lolo883 on the random stranger bit. I actually had a woman come up to me and brush her hand against my cheek. I had a major freak out wtf reaction. She said that my skin looked soft and she "just wanted to see if it was soft". That shit does not fly with me.

I have strangers touch my hair a lot. It's red, so it attracts people's eyes. I think that's what it is, anyway? I don't usually mind for certian people. Children and cute little old ladies get a pass. Men my age or creepy people I push off me. LOL

Inkdancer

jdluvr06 said:

I've been dancing since I was 3. So I pretty much have no bubble. I'm used to people adjusting my posture, feet, waist, arms, ect. I do kind of look for that in a fitness class. I want to be sure I'm doing things right.

Same here. If I don't like you, I don't want you touching me. But with people I like or am paying, I have no personal bubble and you are welcome to invade.

JCbride2015

SaraBrideSoon said:

I used to manage a massage clinic, so I am all for being touched. (That sounded awkward....)

 

That being said, I am with @lolo883 on the random stranger bit. I actually had a woman come up to me and brush her hand against my cheek. I had a major freak out wtf reaction. She said that my skin looked soft and she "just wanted to see if it was soft". That shit does not fly with me.

Nononono!  I am touchy-feely and there is NO part of me that wants a stranger to touch my cheek!!  WTF?

JCbride2015

doeydo said:

ETA  I never knew that people actually got their hair washed at hair salons, besides old people.

Wow, really?  I think I've only ever had one cut without shampoo, and that was when I was 11 and my mom took me to some really weird place in a strip mall for a discount.  Any salon I've gone to as an adult just doesn't even give you a choice, they just start with the shampoo.  I figure it's also for obvious sanitary reasons for the hairdresser.  And yes, it's totally the best part!  You should find a place that does the shampoo.  It's awesome.

theartistformerlyknownas

larrygaga said:

SaraBrideSoon said:

I used to manage a massage clinic, so I am all for being touched. (That sounded awkward....)

 

That being said, I am with @lolo883 on the random stranger bit. I actually had a woman come up to me and brush her hand against my cheek. I had a major freak out wtf reaction. She said that my skin looked soft and she "just wanted to see if it was soft". That shit does not fly with me.

I have strangers touch my hair a lot. It's red, so it attracts people's eyes. I think that's what it is, anyway? I don't usually mind for certian people. Children and cute little old ladies get a pass. Men my age or creepy people I push off me. LOL

One morning freshman year, when I lived in the dorms with a roommate I didn't know, I woke up to one of her male friends stroking my hair. That's right. I was in bed, in pajamas, SLEEPING, and this fool thought it was ok to touch me. (And my idiot roommate thought it was ok to have friends over while I was asleep in our 9x10' dorm room.) I freaked the hell out. He said "you have such smooth hair, is it real?" 

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.

LadyMillil

I'm touchy-feely with DH but no one else. I don't mind being adjusted in yoga class. I always get my hair washed at the salon. I never get pedicures because I don't like people touching my feet. I do enjoy manicures but I don't get them too often because the disinfectants at work strip off nail polish. DH and I did a couples massage on our last vacation and I enjoyed that, but I don't think I'd go for a regular massage.

slothiegal

lolo883 said:

larrygaga said:

SaraBrideSoon said:

I used to manage a massage clinic, so I am all for being touched. (That sounded awkward....)

 

That being said, I am with @lolo883 on the random stranger bit. I actually had a woman come up to me and brush her hand against my cheek. I had a major freak out wtf reaction. She said that my skin looked soft and she "just wanted to see if it was soft". That shit does not fly with me.

I have strangers touch my hair a lot. It's red, so it attracts people's eyes. I think that's what it is, anyway? I don't usually mind for certian people. Children and cute little old ladies get a pass. Men my age or creepy people I push off me. LOL

One morning freshman year, when I lived in the dorms with a roommate I didn't know, I woke up to one of her male friends stroking my hair. That's right. I was in bed, in pajamas, SLEEPING, and this fool thought it was ok to touch me. (And my idiot roommate thought it was ok to have friends over while I was asleep in our 9x10' dorm room.) I freaked the hell out. He said "you have such smooth hair, is it real?" 

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE.

Really, what in the actual fuck.  I'm shuddering just from reading that.