XP Shower Invites

Jessa617

The bridesmaids (myself included) of my friend's wedding are hosting a bridal shower for her. I am ordering the invites and I am trying to think of how to word the registry information. She is registered at one store, but wants gift cards to other stores... is there a good way to do this? 

Jennifer is registered at XX and would also appreciate gift cards from XX and XX 

??

tigersgirlgv

I would just put the actual store where she is registered, it's not really good etiquette to ask for gift cards, as they're basically cash. Also, it's not very fun to watch someone open gift cards.

Edited because I can't spell today.

JCbride2015

Jessa617 said:

The bridesmaids (myself included) of my friend's wedding are hosting a bridal shower for her. I am ordering the invites and I am trying to think of how to word the registry information. She is registered at one store, but wants gift cards to other stores... is there a good way to do this? 

Jennifer is registered at XX and would also appreciate gift cards from XX and XX 

??

Just list the store where she is registered.  Don't mention the gift cards.  It's inappropriate to ask for them anyway, and the bridal shower is for boxed gifts.

NYCMercedes

^^^^ I agree with those above. Never ask for money. Gift cards are money. If she wants something from another store, she should register there.

Jessa617

The bride's not going to like this, but I guess too bad. 

Jessa617

One of the places is a grocery store, and you really can't register for groceries. I'll just put the actually place that she's registered at with no mention of the other stores. 

thisismynickname2

I'd pass word to the Bride that perhaps she should have enough on the actual registry to satisfy the purposes of a shower, but keep it small enough that when the wedding rolls around, there won't be much left (if anything) which would by default perhaps prompt some cash gifts from all the other wedding-only guests. 

If she wants gift cards, especially to grocery stores... the easiest way to get cash is to plain not register.  

kaos16

Jessa617 said:

One of the places is a grocery store, and you really can't register for groceries. I'll just put the actually place that she's registered at with no mention of the other stores. 

I have never heard of someone registering for grocery store gift cards.

Jessa617

@kaos16 I've never heard of it either ha, but the bride... knows what she wants, I guess is the best way to put it. 

gladyscf

A grocery store?

NYCMercedes

I'm side-eyeing a bride who wants money for groceries.

lilacck28

NYCMercedes said:

I'm side-eyeing a bride who wants money for groceries.

Um... why? 

I'd like money for groceries. And rent. And student loans. If I receive any checks at my wedding, that's what I will probably spend the gift on. 

Just pointing out that "wanting money for x" is not the same as "registering for money for x". I'm guessing you meant a bride "registering for money for groceries."

ETA: sorry, I'm in a bit of a snippy mood. 

MairePoppy

On one hand, I think it's odd to ask for grocery store gift cards. On the other hand, I admire the bride's practical side. Of course, it's inappropriate to ask for cash or gift cards. 

climbingsingle

You know, I wasn't planning on registering. But shit, groceries are expensive! I'm registering at Whole Foods.

MairePoppy

My SIL calls that Whole Paycheck Foods.

AddieCake

MairePoppy said:

My SIL calls that Whole Paycheck Foods.

My aunt calls it that, too!

pinkcow13

I just received a shower invite in the mail without any registry info on it. Does this mean she expects cash?? Or that I can bring any boxed gift I desire?

ETA: OP, didn't mean to thread jack, I figured this was in line with registry info on shower invites

April192002

If I receive an invitation to an event where a gift is expected (usually wedding or baby) and there is no registry information, I start searching the typical registry stores. If I don't see one on any of those sites I then decide on whether or not to get a gift. I usually go with a gift card, store specific if I know where they shop or get a credit card gift card if I don't. Grocery stores are a little different, but if I was really wanting a Target gift card, I'd register for a few items that are from that store (not on any of my other registries) and make sure the gift card option is on there, which may be standard now to have it instead of having to select if you want it or not.

@pinkcow13 I think you should take a boxed gift if that's what you're more comfortable giving, I know a few people who think money or gift cards are too impersonal. It would be nice if you included a gift receipt but it's not completely necessary. If they really care what they get then they should create a registry, since it's so easy to do online now...and even if you don't get items specifically from the registry, it at least lets guests know what you need or your style.

NYCMercedes

lilacck28 said:

NYCMercedes said:

I'm side-eyeing a bride who wants money for groceries.

Um... why? 

I'd like money for groceries. And rent. And student loans. If I receive any checks at my wedding, that's what I will probably spend the gift on. 

Just pointing out that "wanting money for x" is not the same as "registering for money for x". I'm guessing you meant a bride "registering for money for groceries."

ETA: sorry, I'm in a bit of a snippy mood. 

Yeah, that's what I meant

Jessa617

This may be an unpop. op., but I'd actually prefer a bride to open gift cards, the gift opening portion of bridal showers is so boring to me and I feel like envelopes with gift cards will move along much quicker than opening envelopes, then the gift. 

I always give gift cards at showers (for the most part). I don't think there's anything wrong with GIVING gift cards, but I can see where ASKING for them is improper etiquette. 

ashleyep

Jessa617 said:

This may be an unpop. op., but I'd actually prefer a bride to open gift cards, the gift opening portion of bridal showers is so boring to me and I feel like envelopes with gift cards will move along much quicker than opening envelopes, then the gift. 

I always give gift cards at showers (for the most part). I don't think there's anything wrong with GIVING gift cards, but I can see where ASKING for them is improper etiquette. 

It's boring for guests either way. But the whole point of it is for guests to ooh and ahh over what she gets. Boxed gifts might take longer, but gift cards would be excruciating.

You're right. There's nothing wrong with giving them - one of my shower gifts was a small picture frame from a store I was registered at with a gift card inside of it. But you can't *ask* for them.

LondonLisa

There are really only three unbreakable rules of wedding showers in addition to the standard hostess responsibilities (time appropriate refreshments, thank you notes etc.):

1.) Boxed gifts ONLY- no cash/ honeymoon/ gift cards

2.) Everyone invited to the shower MUST be invited to the wedding (I believe Church/Work showers are the only exception)

3.) The bride MUST open her gifts.

And seriously, I admire the completely shameless attitude of anyone who would register for groceries as if a shower was some sort of government benefits handout. What is next- registering for electricity bills? Mobile phone bills? It is beyond inappropriate. If she wants cash, she should cancel the registry, or create a very small registry, and word will spread that they would like money. If she cancels her registry, she should decline the shower as this is for boxed gifts only.

Jessa617

@LondonLisa I was invited to two showers this year. One had a honeymoon fund, and the other wanted gift certificates to their travel agency. I never cringed so hard in my life. So now I am realizing that asking for gift certificates (regardless of where to), is not a good idea. 

Like I said, the bride is going to be pissed if she doesn't get any, but I'd rather her be pissed at me than have the entire guest list side-eye me for putting that on the invitations. 

ashleyep

Jessa617 said:

@LondonLisa I was invited to two showers this year. One had a honeymoon fund, and the other wanted gift certificates to their travel agency. I never cringed so hard in my life. So now I am realizing that asking for gift certificates (regardless of where to), is not a good idea. 

Like I said, the bride is going to be pissed if she doesn't get any, but I'd rather her be pissed at me than have the entire guest list side-eye me for putting that on the invitations. 

Can you tell her in advance that showers are supposed to be for boxed gifts and you're not comfortable asking for gift cards?

Jessa617

Theoretically I could... but I know exactly what her response will be. 

LondonLisa

Jessa617 said:

Theoretically I could... but I know exactly what her response will be. 

Yikes, she sounds like a piece of work!

At the end of the day, yes this party is in her honour, but you are the hostess. Therefore you are in charge of the event and it reflects upon you. Absolutely do not let her guilt you into doing something you are uncomfortable with, and even worse, is incredibly rude to your guests. A shower is a gift, and she is welcome to decline it if it matters THAT much to her. 

I would say "Friend, thanks so much for your notes. I am excited about hosting a shower for your registry. However, I am uncomfortable asking people for money or gift cards. Thanks for understanding. Does x date still work for you?"

You should also throw in that she should join the TK message boards for good advice- we'll set her straight