MOG dress choice - too similar to bridal wear?

kathy12345678910

Hi,

I want to start off by saying my FMIL is a wonderful woman.

Just recently she sent me a photo of the dress she purchased to wear at our wedding. The wedding is in September of this year.

My first thought when I saw the dress was, "Well, this looks a little like a wedding dress." I attached the photo

I know that the bottom of the dress is a bit darker, but the top part is clearly ivory lace - which is a very bridal material in my opinion. I just worry that she will look funny in the pictures, and walking down the aisle (like a second bride). It just seems weird to even risk upsetting me, by choosing this dress.

What do you think? Part of me doesn't know if I'm overreacting. I showed my fiance and he agreed that it was inappropriate.

Also, my dress is ivory, has lace at the top and beading/flowers on it.

Thanks in advance!

JCbride2015

kathleenshevlin said:

Hi,

I want to start off by saying my FMIL is a wonderful woman.

Just recently she sent me a photo of the dress she purchased to wear at our wedding. The wedding is in September of this year.

My first thought when I saw the dress was, "Well, this looks a little like a wedding dress." I attached the photo

I know that the bottom of the dress is a bit darker, but the top part is clearly ivory lace - which is a very bridal material in my opinion. I just worry that she will look funny in the pictures, and walking down the aisle (like a second bride). It just seems weird to even risk upsetting me, by choosing this dress.

What do you think? Part of me doesn't know if I'm overreacting. I showed my fiance and he agreed that it was inappropriate.

Also, my dress is ivory, has lace at the top and beading/flowers on it.

Thanks in advance!

Nobody will think she is the bride.  And there is zero possibility that you can say anything without really upsetting your FMIL.  It's a dark dress, especially the bottom, and looks very MOB/MOG to me.

Just let it go.  All attention will be on you and new H, not her, on your wedding day.

ETA: just my unsolicited opinion, not only do I think this dress is appropriate, I think it's very tasteful and gorgeous.  I'd love my mom or FMIL to wear this.

littlemushroom

Maybe it's the settings on my computer, but that does not look anything like a bridal gown IMO.  I think you are overreacting. 

PrettyGirlLost

That doesn't look like a bridal gown at all.  It will be fine, just let this one go.

Can you show us a pic of your dress. . . just because I like to see!

mysticl

I would not call that ivory.  I think it's somewhere in the beige family.  

EllieAugust

I think it is a weird choice for her to pick, but I don't think there is anything that you say. I don't think people will mistake her for the bride.  Remember, all the guests either know you (the bride) or they know your groom (the MOG's son).  It is unlikely that there will be many pictures of you standing next to your FMIL.  Plus, a good photog would put two people dressed similar colors like that on different sides of group shots.  

Saying something will only lead to one of two endings 1. she gets upset 2. she gets embarrassed and hurt.  Neither are worth it!  

slothiegal

JCbride2015 said:

kathleenshevlin said:

Hi,

I want to start off by saying my FMIL is a wonderful woman.

Just recently she sent me a photo of the dress she purchased to wear at our wedding. The wedding is in September of this year.

My first thought when I saw the dress was, "Well, this looks a little like a wedding dress." I attached the photo

I know that the bottom of the dress is a bit darker, but the top part is clearly ivory lace - which is a very bridal material in my opinion. I just worry that she will look funny in the pictures, and walking down the aisle (like a second bride). It just seems weird to even risk upsetting me, by choosing this dress.

What do you think? Part of me doesn't know if I'm overreacting. I showed my fiance and he agreed that it was inappropriate.

Also, my dress is ivory, has lace at the top and beading/flowers on it.

Thanks in advance!

Nobody will think she is the bride.  And there is zero possibility that you can say anything without really upsetting your FMIL.  It's a dark dress, especially the bottom, and looks very MOB/MOG to me.

Just let it go.  All attention will be on you and new H, not her, on your wedding day.

ETA: just my unsolicited opinion, not only do I think this dress is appropriate, I think it's very tasteful and gorgeous.  I'd love my mom or FMIL to wear this.

I agree.  This is a gorgeous, appropriate pick for either the MOB or MOG.  You're fine!

lilacck28

She probably worked pretty hard to find that. It's traditional for MOB and MOG to wear a beige dress. She might have been sticking to those parameters. 

NYCMercedes

Is she your generation? Will she carry a bouquet? It's an absolutely beautiful dress and I think you not need worry about it.

sofakingmad

I'm sorry that you are upset, but I agree with everyone else that it's a lovely dress and not bridal at all.  Beige is a neutral color and she probably picked it so that she wouldn't stand out.

photokitty

I don't see anything. I feel so left out Why can't I see the dress...am I doing something wrong here?? doh, well

MNVegas

photokitty said:

I don't see anything. I feel so left out Why can't I see the dress...am I doing something wrong here?? doh, well

Not just you, nothing shows up for me either. 

southernbelle0915

She will not look funny walking down the aisle or in pictures wearing the dress. Unless she's wearing a big bird costume, you will look controlling if you allude to her choosing something else.

lilacck28

I could see the picture before, but now can't. I think the OP removed it? 

JCbride2015

lilacck28 said:

I could see the picture before, but now can't. I think the OP removed it? 

I can't see it anymore either, but the post was not edited.  I think it's a TK glitch, not the OP.

JCbride2015

chibiyui

JCbride2015 said:

That dress is in no way bridal.

manateehugger

Not bridal at all - I think it's an incredibly tasteful dress. 

Trust me, no one will see FMIL walk down and mistake her for the bride. Relax! No one outshines the bride on her wedding day. Let.It.Go. You'll have much more important things to care about.

AddieCake

That is 100% appropriate.

lyndausvi

I do not think it's bridal at all.    

BrandNewJ

It's so beautiful! I think it's appropriate and tasteful for a MOG

gladyscf

I think that is a gorgeous dress for a MOB/MOG to wear! 

AprilH81

While I understand your gut reaction OP, I think it is a beautiful dress and no one is going to mistake her as the bride.  Take a deep breath and let it go.

photokitty

JCbride2015 said:

Thanks JC!

Not bridal, totally classy and NIB. You're overreacting, but it's cool no one IRL needs to ever know. We won't tell them, promise!

Tell FMIL you think she'll look great in it and move on...crisis overrated :-D

jenajjthr

I would agree with you if that dress was white, and she wore a veil, and she carried a bouquet. Then she would look "bridal."  As is though, that is not a bridal dress. It is a very pretty lacy dress though. Lacy does not mean bridal though. Let it go OP, let her wear what makes her feel pretty and beautiful. 

wandajune6

Gorgeous dress! I don't think it looks bridal at all!

[Deleted User]

I've heard that in the dark ages the MOG was told her role was to wear beige and be quiet.  She picked out a beige dress that is actually lovely, good on her.  I would tell her that you adore it and that she will look lovely.

wrigleyville

The top may be ivory, but the dark color on the underdress makes it look a bit more like champagne. That is a gorgeous dress and is nowhere near "bridal". Many mothers wear beige/champagne to their children's weddings. It's a classy color for those who prefer neutrals over pastels.

VulgarGirl

JCbride2015 said:

It's a very nice dress, I'm not getting a bride vibe at all. 

RebeccaFlower

I (silently) side eye a lot of attire at weddings. There is nothing inappropriate about this dress. For your sanity, stop making issues. 

climbingsingle

Nothing about that dress says "bride" to me. It's a perfect MOG dress.