Wedding Party

Junior maid of honor?

For my wedding next May, I have already picked out my wedding party I have my MOH and 2 bridesmaids. I have originally planned for my little sister, who is much younger (4 years old), to be a flower girl with my Fiancé's niece, who is also 4. However my fiancé and his brother are not close and we hadn't planned on including their other kids so I was worried it would cause tension between his wife and me. I'm not sure I want her to be a flower girl alone. Especially when I hadn't planned on having a ring bearer. I do want my little sister to be able to walk down the isle with me. So my question is..would it be stupid to have her as a junior maid of honor? or a maiden of honor? 

Re: Junior maid of honor?

  • You don't have to have a ring bearer to have a flower girl, even if there is just one flower girl. No part of your wedding party must come in pairs. I had a ring bearer and no flower girl. If she walks as a bridesmaid, just call her a bridesmaid, not some made up title. I imagine people will still assume she is a flower girl, though, given her age, so I would probably just keep her as that.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • AddieCake said:

    You don't have to have a ring bearer to have a flower girl, even if there is just one flower girl. No part of your wedding party must come in pairs. I had a ring bearer and no flower girl. If she walks as a bridesmaid, just call her a bridesmaid, not some made up title. I imagine people will still assume she is a flower girl, though, given her age, so I would probably just keep her as that.

    Agree

    My little brother was the ring bearer. Had no flower girl at the wedding.
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  • miknicd said:
    For my wedding next May, I have already picked out my wedding party I have my MOH and 2 bridesmaids. I have originally planned for my little sister, who is much younger (4 years old), to be a flower girl with my Fiancé's niece, who is also 4. However my fiancé and his brother are not close and we hadn't planned on including their other kids so I was worried it would cause tension between his wife and me. I'm not sure I want her to be a flower girl alone. Especially when I hadn't planned on having a ring bearer. I do want my little sister to be able to walk down the isle with me. So my question is..would it be stupid to have her as a junior maid of honor? or a maiden of honor? 
    First: an 'isle' is an island. Presumably you're wanting the word 'aisle' here.

    Second: you are way over-thinking this. She can absolutely be a flower girl alone. She can walk with you and still be a flower girl. Or she can be maid of honor doing the same thing. 'Maid' means unmarried since it is short for 'maiden', so it is still an appropriate title no matter the age of the girl/woman.

    A final thought: Due to her very young age, please be fully prepared and aware that she might not walk down the aisle either with or without you on the wedding day. She may get stage fright or simply be having a bad day and throw a tantrum. My mom's flower girl actually refused to walk or even to touch her basket. These things happen when you put small children in weddings.
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  • You can definitely have a flower girl without having a ring bearer. Give the best man the rings and have her be the flower girl. If you decide to make her a BM, she doesn't need any other title than "bridesmaid". Both are good options and nice ways of including her.
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  • Yes, go ahead and have her as a flower girl alone.

    If you're worried she won't go down the aisle on her own, you could hold her hand as you walk down.  If you are being walked down the aisle by somebody, you go in the middle and you have your escort (dad, mom, whomever) on one side and your sister on the other.

    Or she could walk right in front of you throwing her petals, if it makes her feel better to be close to you but she doesn't have to actually hold your hand.

    If you get my drift-- there's not really a way you can mess this up.  If you want her to be part of the wedding party, she can walk down the aisle alone, with you, etc. at pretty much any time.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I don't want her to be a flower girl alone because I know how she is and she will more than likely not want to walk down alone. More then likely she is going to want to hold my hand and considering I have no one to walk me down the isle I figured she could do that and then stand between me and my MOH. she loves my MOH so I know she would have no problem with her. Yes I am aware more than likely she won't stand there. She'll probably be wanting my MOH to hold her or she will be running around. I don't mind that. 

    And yes i meant aisle but i was typing fast and overlooked it. 

  • Well, she can hold your hand and be whatever, then. And I say flower girl b/c like I said, if I saw a 4 year old walking down the aisle, I would automatically assume flower girl. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • miknicd said:
    I don't want her to be a flower girl alone because I know how she is and she will more than likely not want to walk down alone. More then likely she is going to want to hold my hand and considering I have no one to walk me down the isle I figured she could do that and then stand between me and my MOH. she loves my MOH so I know she would have no problem with her. Yes I am aware more than likely she won't stand there. She'll probably be wanting my MOH to hold her or she will be running around. I don't mind that. 

    And yes i meant aisle but i was typing fast and overlooked it. 

    Then have her walk down the aisle with one of the BMs and have your parents save a seat for her in the front row. 4 is far too little to stand the whole ceremony.  "Junior" any role is fake. Have her be a flower girl or a BM but not a patronising "junior" before it. 
  • well I saw where if you have 2 MOH if one is younger she is the maiden. Maybe it's fake. I'm not sure. I'm already anticipating her not sitting in her seat or standing the whole time so I am prepared for that. She IS very well behaved however, she is still a 4 year old. Would it look funny if I had her walk down the aisle holding my hand and then she could just do whatever when I got down there? 
  • No, it would not look funny if she went and sat down after walking hand in hand with you. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • miknicd said:
    well I saw where if you have 2 MOH if one is younger she is the maiden. Maybe it's fake. I'm not sure. I'm already anticipating her not sitting in her seat or standing the whole time so I am prepared for that. She IS very well behaved however, she is still a 4 year old. Would it look funny if I had her walk down the aisle holding my hand and then she could just do whatever when I got down there? 
    This would be perfectly fine.  She can either stand with you, or go sit.  Either way I think it sounds really cute and a nice way to honor her.
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  • NymeruNymeru member
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    Do whatever you feel is right.  People don't really side-eye little kids leaving and sitting down during the ceremony.  They understand that kids can't be expected to stand and behave the entire time.  If she can manage it, great, but otherwise, let her do what she needs to do to be happy. 
  • Matron is the title for a married woman and maid is for unmarried. It has nothing to do with age, though many women feel 'matron' makes them seem old and thus prefer to be a 'maid of honor' regardless of their own marital status.
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  • We're not having a ring bearer, just our niece as the flower girl. She'll be almost 3 at the time so we weren't sure how to handle it. But we decided she's just going to walk down the aisle with her Mom who is going to be a bridesmaid, and then at the reception when the bridal party is announced her Dad who is a groomsmen will carry her. This way she makes it one way or another haha.

    She's also not going to be holding a basket/tossing petals. She's gonna have one of those balls (i'm sorry, I can't remember the correct term :/) to hold.
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  • She's gonna have one of those balls (i'm sorry, I can't remember the correct term :/) to hold.

    Pomander.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • If you don't think she can handle going down the aisle alone, I just wouldn't have her in the wedding party.  Just take pictures with her.  She'll still be cute and "included" that way.
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