Pre-wedding Parties

Wedding Drama!!!!!!

My fiance and I are 2 months away from our big day and of course, the drama is never ending between our families. My future mother-in law decided she wanted to add 52 more people to the guest list (which is NOT happening). AND the day of my shower, most of his family won't be there because they think a graduation party is more important. We are banging heads he and I because I threw in the towel because frankly, I have more important things to focus on, and he thinks I don't care about his family. Also, my mother thinks I'm not appreciating everything her and my father are doing for me. Just because I don't say "thank you" every time they do something does not mean I'm not grateful. All my fiance and I want is just to be married. We love each other more than life itself, but all this drama is pulling us apart. Any advice brides? 

Re: Wedding Drama!!!!!!

  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    My fiance and I are 2 months away from our big day and of course, the drama is never ending between our families. 1. My future mother-in law decided she wanted to add 52 more people to the guest list (which is NOT happening). AND the day of my shower, most of his 2. family won't be there because they think a graduation party is more important. We are banging heads he and I because I threw in the towel because frankly, I have more important things to focus on, and 3. he thinks I don't care about his family. Also, my mother thinks I'm not appreciating everything her and my father are doing for me. Just because I don't 4. say "thank you" every time they do something does not mean I'm not grateful. All my fiance and I want is just to be married. We love each other more than life itself, but all this drama is pulling us apart. Any advice brides? 
    1. Yes, that is annoying, but Fi should handle his family and just tell his mum no- problem solved.

    2. Maybe a graduation party is more important. You are not the centre of the universe. An invitation is not a subpoena. Plus, this is just a shower, it isn't like this is your actual wedding.

    3. Well, considering how you have been talking about your Fi's family in this post, I'm not surprised he thinks this. 

    4. Of course they think that- you should say Thank You every time they do something for you. You sound very spoilt in this post. 
    nancieravenKnottie06478969
  • My fiance and I are 2 months away from our big day and of course, the drama is never ending between our families. My future mother-in law decided she wanted to add 52 more people to the guest list (which is NOT happening). AND the day of my shower, most of his family won't be there because they think a graduation party is more important. We are banging heads he and I because I threw in the towel because frankly, I have more important things to focus on, and he thinks I don't care about his family. Also, my mother thinks I'm not appreciating everything her and my father are doing for me. Just because I don't say "thank you" every time they do something does not mean I'm not grateful. All my fiance and I want is just to be married. We love each other more than life itself, but all this drama is pulling us apart. Any advice brides? 
    1. Say thank you every time anyone does anything for you/your wedding
    2. If his family is invited to your shower and they choose to attend a graduation party instead, oh well. Let it go. Don't talk junk or snowball the drama. Let their actions speak for themselves - you don't need to say/do a thing.
    3. Are your FILs contributing enough money to host the additional 52 people and do you have enough space in the venue to host them? If the answer to both of these questions is "yes", I would host them. If the answer to one or both is no, then the answer to them is "no". Let your FI deliver the answer (make sure you're on the same page first). "I'm sorry, but at this point, we cannot accommodate additional guests." Repeat as necessary.

    None of this should cause any problems between the two of you. Go on a date this weekend and agree that wedding talk is not allowed under any circumstances. 
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    My fiance and I are 2 months away from our big day and of course, the drama is never ending between our families. 1. My future mother-in law decided she wanted to add 52 more people to the guest list (which is NOT happening). AND the day of my shower, most of his 2. family won't be there because they think a graduation party is more important. We are banging heads he and I because I threw in the towel because frankly, I have more important things to focus on, and 3. he thinks I don't care about his family. Also, my mother thinks I'm not appreciating everything her and my father are doing for me. Just because I don't 4. say "thank you" every time they do something does not mean I'm not grateful. All my fiance and I want is just to be married. We love each other more than life itself, but all this drama is pulling us apart. Any advice brides? 
    1. Yes, that is annoying, but Fi should handle his family and just tell his mum no- problem solved.

    2. Maybe a graduation party is more important. You are not the centre of the universe. An invitation is not a subpoena. Plus, this is just a shower, it isn't like this is your actual wedding.

    3. Well, considering how you have been talking about your Fi's family in this post, I'm not surprised he thinks this. 

    4. Of course they think that- you should say Thank You every time they do something for you. You sound very spoilt in this post. 
    All of this.

    Why the heck do you not say "thank you" when your Fi's family does something for you?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  •  Sounds like you're a bit of a spoiled brat..

     My advice to you, would be to realize you're wedding isn't the event of the century. Yes, it's important, but other people have lives too. A graduation IS important, and more important than a wedding shower. I'm also with your FI, when he says he feels you don't care about his family. Clearly they have been helping you, whether you say thank you each time or not. (I don't know why). Whether or not you appreciate it, you need to say thank you any time someone does anything nice for you! You think this would be common sense, that you would have been taught as a child. 

     I'm pretty sure if you lay off the drama and temper tantrums, which you clearly seem to be having, by reading your post, then you'll find the rest of this experience a lot better!

     *J
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    A shower is not usually on anyone's high priority list unless they are the bride or are hosting it. Frankly, they are pretty boring. And you should always say thank you whenever someone does something for you. Always.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 Akron, Ohio member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    1. Always say thank you when someone does something for you even if it's your parents. Actually, especially if it's your parents!

    2. I understand you're upset people are missing your bridal shower because it is a once in a lifetime event; however, a graduation party is also a once in a lifetime event. His family had to choose which one to go to and the chose another once in a lifetime event over yours. You can be sad they won't be there, but you shouldn't be upset with them.
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    chasseuse
  • I would agree that graduating is a bigger accomplishment than getting married.
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