Chit Chat

stupid crap FILs say

sarahuflsarahufl New York
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I grew up in north Florida, to parents from Louisiana. We are southern, no doubt about it. FI's family is dyed in the wool New Yorkers. They fall into all the stereotypes- cops, firefighters, big, Irish, Catholic Republicans. Generally, I like them a lot. They are very welcoming, very kind, very excited about me joining the family. FI and I have been together for 3.5 years and they have ALWAYS welcomed me into their family.

But they say the DUMBEST crap. Lately, it has been about our wedding and "the south". We are getting married at my home church and having the reception at a beautiful plantation home. I have been able to ignore all the Gone With the Wind comments, all the comments about searsucker suits and handlebar mustaches. But yesterday.....

FIs parents are driving from upstate New York to Tallahassee. They are concerned about driving "in the south" and making sure they only stay in chain hotels because what may happen to them otherwise. They think it is The Bates Motel once you get south of Queens - you know, dead mothers and serial murders. They also are afraid of driving because, apparently, "in the south" people step in front of your car so their friends can then rob you once you get out to see what you hit.

I can usually let this crap roll off my back, but yesterday I couldn't. I was like "EXACTLY WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE THINK I AM FROM?!". I grew up in a town of 300,000, it is the the state capital. I have a Master's degree, both my parents are college-educated. Our friends are smart, nice people and I don't know anyone who has been murdered in a hotel. I hate the ridiculous over-generalizations about a place where I spent 25 years of my life, a place I would go back to if FI was interested. I also don't want them to say this kind of stuff out loud to our family/friends and end up insulting the crap out of people.

So, what sort of dumb stuff do your FILs say?!
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Re: stupid crap FILs say

  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina
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    edited June 2014
    I love my FILs. They have been a part of my life since I was very young. In high school, I lived with FI's family for a couple of months due to issues at my house and I lived there for a year in college. The things I have to bite my tongue about are usually dealing  with politics. FMIL and FSIL are very liberal whereas I am very conservative. Any time something political is brought up, I just sit in silence...FI likes to egg them on and thinks it is fun.

    Another thing is that both FMIL and FFIL thought FI and I needed to wait longer to get married. Even though we have known each other since before kindergarten, dated for almost 6 years, lived together over 2 years, and will have been engaged over 1 year by the time we get married. They were both almost 30 before they got married and think we are too "young" at 23. I always point out that FI and I have been friends the majority of our lives and they (FMIL and FFIL) had only known each other for 2 years by the time they got married so it is very different. They think we need to "sow some wild oats" before we settle down. We like to do crazy, young people things together. I could never imagine experiencing those things without FI. 

    Also, FMIL likes to talk about how excited she is to have grandbabies (which we hope we can give her one day) soon after the weddings (FSIL is getting married in October) to everyone. Except, when we are in private she tells us how we need to wait until we are 30 to have kids because she did. It is odd. FI and I know we want to be married for at least 1 year before we start trying to have kids, if not longer but she always has to interject that we will be too young. 

    ETA: I'm also from the South and HATE the negative connotations that we get. Granted, I think a lot of Southerners do the same thing to the "Yankees."

    sarawifenow
  • Im sorry about the stereotypes you've had to hear about.  My god, do they think the south is lawless?  They watch too much TV...or something...  Honestly.

    My dad used to drive down south for vacations in his younger days.  He'd take the back roads of Florida, and him and his friends had a wonderful time.  I hear so much about the kindness of people in Florida when Canadians visit.  We love you guys.

    I am from a very small town (about an hour from a mall, no theatre, not much going on) and my MIL would joke about rednecks.  Oh em gee, I bet there are quite a few where you're from, goldchocobo.  I bet all your friends own a pick up truck and a few go huntin' HYUCK!"

    This made me so angry that FI had to take her aside and tell her to STOP.  It's presumptuous, rude, and frankly quite ignorant.  Not once did I call her a city slicker!  She stopped after that.  She had no idea these sort of things were upsetting.  She was just trying to bond with me apparently. 

    Maybe your FI can mention something to them.   
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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby!
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    Oh man that is a doozy!

     

    My FMIL keeps insisting that we do a dollar dance! Apparently it is the thing to do in their family. I have tried bean dipping her on the subject and have even told her that I am just not interested in it.

     

    Well yesterdayshe calls and we are talking. She mentions that I am going to do the dance "one way or the other". I finally just said, "over my dead body". I laughed it off with her, but I am hoping she gets the hint. I will be speaking with our DJ and inform him that there will absolutely be NO dollar dance.

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  • Background: I've been in grad school the whole time I've known DH (MSc, now working on my PhD). DH wants to go back to school. It would be hard but doable for us both to be in school full-time. However, he wants to go to school in Europe (dual citizen, Canada-EU) but I;m not so we can't afford the international tuition fees I would have to pay. I started my PhD when we were at a rocky point in our relationship because I was not willing to put my life on hold for some one that wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me, and I got an offer to join a lab, on scholarship, that works on exactly what I want to do.

    DH was laid off in January. Sine then all I've heard from the ILs is that DH should go back to school instead of wasting time in a retail job, that I should transfer schools (not possible with a research based PhD), that I should take extra courses to graduate sooner (I've already completed course requirements, research takes a long time and there is no way to speed it up), that I should take a leave of absence so DH can go to school, and that I should get a "real job" so DH doesn't have to keep supporting me (my scholarship covers ALL my expenses). DH always tells them that none of their suggestions are possible, but they don't understand why so they think that I'm "forcing" him to "waste his time" so I can do what I want. 

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  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope.
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    I am with y'all @sarahufl @emmaaa @goldchocobo

    GA native living in New Hampshire. My daddy is a New Jersey Yankee that lived in GA for 20 years, and my mom was born in GA. I get southern stereotypes all the damn time and it is fucking ridiculous. So much hyuck-hyuck shit that it makes my blood boil and makes 'polite southerner' stereotype go down the fuckin' tubes real fast.

    FMIL wants to me to put something about cash gifts being appreciated on the invitations. FFIL wants us to buy a Harley with whatever cash we get. FI hates Harleys, and they know that. FSIL wants us to use the same farm her sister has picked for the reception site. FI's aunt and uncle are bullshit that we aren't getting married in the Catholic church We're not Catholic and his aunt and uncle couldn't get married in the catholic church either!
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    emmaaa
  • I hate to say this, but because of Say Yes to the Dress, I am sick to death of the following phrases:

    "Southern Belle"

    "The South shall rise again"

    "Good Lord!"

    "something something grits"

    "something something biscuits"

    Monty, be more original.
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    sarahufltheartistformerlyknownas
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope.
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    I am a frequent user of 'Good Lord', but it is more for dramatic effect lol

    all the rest of those can gooooooooooooo
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina
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    I hate to say this, but because of Say Yes to the Dress, I am sick to death of the following phrases:

    "Southern Belle"

    "The South shall rise again"

    "Good Lord!"

    "something something grits"

    "something something biscuits"

    Monty, be more original.
    Shows that are "filmed" in the South love to use stereotypical sayings and words. It really is obnoxious because it is like they try too hard.

  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope.
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    I will say, after the last RHOA reunion I have occasionally taken to using, "Fix it Jesus!"

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    It gives me chuckles.

    ANYWAY: FILs are crazy as hell sometimes, and I want to hear more stupid shit y'all's have been saying.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    emmaaa
  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia
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    As someone who hails from Michigan and has lived in the Detroit area for like two months, I feel you. Oh girl. I don't even tell people I live in Detroit anymore when asked. Either they are terrified for me or terrified of me.

    I live in a suburb full of old people. I'm not going to get stabbed. And I also don't break into cars.

    @lolo883 knows what's up
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  • FiancBFiancB MinnesOOOta
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    It's actually usually my parents' jobs to say stupid things. Like when I told my parents we're going to Chicago for our HM, they are convinced it is this crime ridden city where we will definitely get mugged and murdered, even though I've been there before and I felt much safer there than I did in San Francisco where my parents are from. 

    Also my bff is wasting her time studying French and it's a dead language, even though my friend lived in France for a year, along with many of her friends that my mom was also running her mouth off to. And she better not meet an Arab boyfriend. 
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  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish
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    FI's brothers, their wives, and his sister all have big mouths and even bigger opinions. I'm sure they got it from their mom but she's careful not to rock the boat these days...

    I get stupid white people jokes. They grew up Mexican in the inner city and didn't have much of anything. I grew up white in a nice suburb. Favorites:

    -Upon seeing a piece of discarded garbage furniture on the street "Grab it- we can sell it as "vintage" in wandajune's hometown."
    -To comments about protecting small children from danger "She'll be 'aiiight. She'll learn." (They're all great parents, they just tease me about being over-protective and worrying too much and like to make me nervous.)
    -Comparing my pasty white skin to various colors. The current favorite is how I blend into the off-white wall in FBIL's kitchen.
    -"White girls don't know how to feed a man"- something FI plays up when we're with family. His mom and SIL's will feed him endless crap that we try to keep out of the house. He uses them as an excuse to eat badly (they're all diabetic/pre-diabetic but FI's the best at managing his blood sugar.

    I adore my future in-laws so the jokes are ok. I'm trying to throw some Mexican jokes back their way but still struggle - my PC mouth just can't spit out the words.
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  • sarahuflsarahufl New York
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    FI's brothers, their wives, and his sister all have big mouths and even bigger opinions. I'm sure they got it from their mom but she's careful not to rock the boat these days...

    I get stupid white people jokes. They grew up Mexican in the inner city and didn't have much of anything. I grew up white in a nice suburb. Favorites:

    -Upon seeing a piece of discarded garbage furniture on the street "Grab it- we can sell it as "vintage" in wandajune's hometown."
    -To comments about protecting small children from danger "She'll be 'aiiight. She'll learn." (They're all great parents, they just tease me about being over-protective and worrying too much and like to make me nervous.)
    -Comparing my pasty white skin to various colors. The current favorite is how I blend into the off-white wall in FBIL's kitchen.
    -"White girls don't know how to feed a man"- something FI plays up when we're with family. His mom and SIL's will feed him endless crap that we try to keep out of the house. He uses them as an excuse to eat badly (they're all diabetic/pre-diabetic but FI's the best at managing his blood sugar.

    I adore my future in-laws so the jokes are ok. I'm trying to throw some Mexican jokes back their way but still struggle - my PC mouth just can't spit out the words.
    This would really grind my gears. It is just so condescending.
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  • sarahuflsarahufl New York
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    I hate to say this, but because of Say Yes to the Dress, I am sick to death of the following phrases:

    "Southern Belle"

    "The South shall rise again"

    "Good Lord!"

    "something something grits"

    "something something biscuits"

    Monty, be more original.
    haha, I love this. But yes, ridiculous. FFIL also went off on grits once, about how disgusting they are. Dude, it is freaking cornmeal. Turns out he has never had them either.
    image
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope.
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    FiancB said:
    It's actually usually my parents' jobs to say stupid things. Like when I told my parents we're going to Chicago for our HM, they are convinced it is this crime ridden city where we will definitely get mugged and murdered, even though I've been there before and I felt much safer there than I did in San Francisco where my parents are from. 

    Also my bff is wasting her time studying French and it's a dead language, even though my friend lived in France for a year, along with many of her friends that my mom was also running her mouth off to. And she better not meet an Arab boyfriend. 
    image

    The fuck does your mom care what this girl that ain't her CHILD is doing???? Lady needs to get a damn project or a hobby lol
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    sarahuflFiancB
  • sarahuflsarahufl New York
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    FI's brothers, their wives, and his sister all have big mouths and even bigger opinions. I'm sure they got it from their mom but she's careful not to rock the boat these days...

    I get stupid white people jokes. They grew up Mexican in the inner city and didn't have much of anything. I grew up white in a nice suburb. Favorites:

    -Upon seeing a piece of discarded garbage furniture on the street "Grab it- we can sell it as "vintage" in wandajune's hometown."
    -To comments about protecting small children from danger "She'll be 'aiiight. She'll learn." (They're all great parents, they just tease me about being over-protective and worrying too much and like to make me nervous.)
    -Comparing my pasty white skin to various colors. The current favorite is how I blend into the off-white wall in FBIL's kitchen.
    -"White girls don't know how to feed a man"- something FI plays up when we're with family. His mom and SIL's will feed him endless crap that we try to keep out of the house. He uses them as an excuse to eat badly (they're all diabetic/pre-diabetic but FI's the best at managing his blood sugar.

    I adore my future in-laws so the jokes are ok. I'm trying to throw some Mexican jokes back their way but still struggle - my PC mouth just can't spit out the words.
    I will not lie, I laughed hysterically at this whole post. Especially the bolded because it's so true. They could sell stuff like that in my state and make a fortune. 

    I get the diabetes thing from FMIL too. DH has lost a chunk of weight since being married because I watch the fuck out of what he eats so he doesn't have terrible complications in the future. When we were over there this weekend she was like, 'Does your wife not feed you? Why are you so thin?!'.

    Uh, he's thinner because I don't feed him shit because I don't want him to die from his diabetes. 
    My problem with this is two-fold. First, stupid. Secondly, I ABSOLUTELY loathe the implication that men cannot take care of themselves and that women's roles are somehow to be barefoot and pregnant and taking care of their dopey husbands. I love cooking for FI, but like hell would I marry a man who was incapable of monitoring his food intake.
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  • OMG I heard this yesterday!

    FI and I are at his parent's house and Grandpa's girlfriend says "FI, goldchocobo must be feeding you well.  You've gained weight!"

    Who the hell says this as the FIRST thing you say when you walk in the door???  Weight talk is NEVER cool with me.  

    FI is actually at a healthy weight now, before he was just a tad underweight.  He's 6 feet tall and 180.  Kiss my grits!  ;)  Actually a Canadianism I would would say would more likely be "Puck off you hoser.  You're offside."

    Later, Grandpa said to me "Wench, do you have a registry?"

    Yeah, he said WENCH.  Yeah I was so shocked I couldnt see straight and muttered a reply that yes we do all the while thinking "WENCH?????"  WTF is wrong with these people?  FI couldnt comprehend it either.  He was like "Did I hear him right?" 

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  • I hate the southern stereotypes. I live in Kentucky and the dumb shit people say is unreal. The worst part is they say some of this stuff to me thinking I'm going to find it funny because people assume I'm a transplant since I don't have the accent. Kentucky is a unique state where once you leave Ohio you have to drive about an hour or hour and a half to hear the accent everyone expects. Sorrynotsorry I don't fit in with your stereotype.
  • sarahuflsarahufl New York
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    kimches said:
    I'm a southerner too. Didn't grow up here. None of my family is southern. They're half west coast and half yankees. I met FI years after I moved to the south. He and his family are born and raised here. So no FIL dumb-assery going on. It's basically everyone else saying stupid stuff.

    Like a family member who thinks it is racist when I say "black" instead of "African-American." I teach at a school that is about 95% black and none of my kids say "African American." In fact many of them use the N-word to describe themselves or others but I have told them they can't use that word in my class. I don't care how they're using it. It's not a nice word to use.

    Then you have other guests freaking out for their safety. I live out in the sticks but not too far from a major city with one of the highest crime rates in America. Many people think they will be mugged, murdered, etc. I said, no, that's not how it is where I live. Around here, you smile and wave to everyone like you know them, even if you don't, because you come off as rude and anti-social if you don't wave and smile at everyone.

    Then there's my yankee family who thinks everyone out here is a toothless, uneducated, hill billy who is married to their cousin. MY EXTENDED FAMILY HAD THE NERVE TO ASK IF ANY OF FI'S RELATIVES ARE MARRIED TO THEIR RELATIVES/PRACTICING INCEST. You're right, we're all freaking morons out here. That's why I moved here to get my bachelor's degree.
    This really gets to me. I have Haitian friends and they are always pissed when people insist on calling them African Americans. They are neither African nor are they American!
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  • sarahufl said:
    kimches said:
    I'm a southerner too. Didn't grow up here. None of my family is southern. They're half west coast and half yankees. I met FI years after I moved to the south. He and his family are born and raised here. So no FIL dumb-assery going on. It's basically everyone else saying stupid stuff.

    Like a family member who thinks it is racist when I say "black" instead of "African-American." I teach at a school that is about 95% black and none of my kids say "African American." In fact many of them use the N-word to describe themselves or others but I have told them they can't use that word in my class. I don't care how they're using it. It's not a nice word to use.

    Then you have other guests freaking out for their safety. I live out in the sticks but not too far from a major city with one of the highest crime rates in America. Many people think they will be mugged, murdered, etc. I said, no, that's not how it is where I live. Around here, you smile and wave to everyone like you know them, even if you don't, because you come off as rude and anti-social if you don't wave and smile at everyone.

    Then there's my yankee family who thinks everyone out here is a toothless, uneducated, hill billy who is married to their cousin. MY EXTENDED FAMILY HAD THE NERVE TO ASK IF ANY OF FI'S RELATIVES ARE MARRIED TO THEIR RELATIVES/PRACTICING INCEST. You're right, we're all freaking morons out here. That's why I moved here to get my bachelor's degree.
    This really gets to me. I have Haitian friends and they are always pissed when people insist on calling them African Americans. They are neither African nor are they American!

    I saw an interview with Whoopi Goldberg once and she said that she found it a bit insulting when people called her African American because she was born on America, her parents for born in America. She is American.
    smichek
  • kimches said:

    Then there's my yankee family who thinks everyone out here is a toothless, uneducated, hill billy who is married to their cousin. MY EXTENDED FAMILY HAD THE NERVE TO ASK IF ANY OF FI'S RELATIVES ARE MARRIED TO THEIR RELATIVES/PRACTICING INCEST. You're right, we're all freaking morons out here. That's why I moved here to get my bachelor's degree.

    SITB:

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  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope.
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    kimches said:
    I'm a southerner too. Didn't grow up here. None of my family is southern. They're half west coast and half yankees. I met FI years after I moved to the south. He and his family are born and raised here. So no FIL dumb-assery going on. It's basically everyone else saying stupid stuff.

    Like a family member who thinks it is racist when I say "black" instead of "African-American." I teach at a school that is about 95% black and none of my kids say "African American." In fact many of them use the N-word to describe themselves or others but I have told them they can't use that word in my class. I don't care how they're using it. It's not a nice word to use.

    Then you have other guests freaking out for their safety. I live out in the sticks but not too far from a major city with one of the highest crime rates in America. Many people think they will be mugged, murdered, etc. I said, no, that's not how it is where I live. Around here, you smile and wave to everyone like you know them, even if you don't, because you come off as rude and anti-social if you don't wave and smile at everyone.

    Then there's my yankee family who thinks everyone out here is a toothless, uneducated, hill billy who is married to their cousin. MY EXTENDED FAMILY HAD THE NERVE TO ASK IF ANY OF FI'S RELATIVES ARE MARRIED TO THEIR RELATIVES/PRACTICING INCEST. You're right, we're all freaking morons out here. That's why I moved here to get my bachelor's degree.
    Not all black people are African-American. Duh! I was told 'black' is ok for that reason.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish
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    sarahufl said:
    FI's brothers, their wives, and his sister all have big mouths and even bigger opinions. I'm sure they got it from their mom but she's careful not to rock the boat these days...

    I get stupid white people jokes. They grew up Mexican in the inner city and didn't have much of anything. I grew up white in a nice suburb. Favorites:

    -Upon seeing a piece of discarded garbage furniture on the street "Grab it- we can sell it as "vintage" in wandajune's hometown."
    -To comments about protecting small children from danger "She'll be 'aiiight. She'll learn." (They're all great parents, they just tease me about being over-protective and worrying too much and like to make me nervous.)
    -Comparing my pasty white skin to various colors. The current favorite is how I blend into the off-white wall in FBIL's kitchen.
    -"White girls don't know how to feed a man"- something FI plays up when we're with family. His mom and SIL's will feed him endless crap that we try to keep out of the house. He uses them as an excuse to eat badly (they're all diabetic/pre-diabetic but FI's the best at managing his blood sugar.

    I adore my future in-laws so the jokes are ok. I'm trying to throw some Mexican jokes back their way but still struggle - my PC mouth just can't spit out the words.
    This would really grind my gears. It is just so condescending.
    It's meant more to tease me. I fell in love with a "distressed" table to at furniture store a while back. They were all appalled by the idea of buying something with paint that looked chipped. Though I can definitely see what you're saying.
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  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish
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    sarahufl said:
    FI's brothers, their wives, and his sister all have big mouths and even bigger opinions. I'm sure they got it from their mom but she's careful not to rock the boat these days...

    I get stupid white people jokes. They grew up Mexican in the inner city and didn't have much of anything. I grew up white in a nice suburb. Favorites:

    -Upon seeing a piece of discarded garbage furniture on the street "Grab it- we can sell it as "vintage" in wandajune's hometown."
    -To comments about protecting small children from danger "She'll be 'aiiight. She'll learn." (They're all great parents, they just tease me about being over-protective and worrying too much and like to make me nervous.)
    -Comparing my pasty white skin to various colors. The current favorite is how I blend into the off-white wall in FBIL's kitchen.
    -"White girls don't know how to feed a man"- something FI plays up when we're with family. His mom and SIL's will feed him endless crap that we try to keep out of the house. He uses them as an excuse to eat badly (they're all diabetic/pre-diabetic but FI's the best at managing his blood sugar.

    I adore my future in-laws so the jokes are ok. I'm trying to throw some Mexican jokes back their way but still struggle - my PC mouth just can't spit out the words.
    I will not lie, I laughed hysterically at this whole post. Especially the bolded because it's so true. They could sell stuff like that in my state and make a fortune. 

    I get the diabetes thing from FMIL too. DH has lost a chunk of weight since being married because I watch the fuck out of what he eats so he doesn't have terrible complications in the future. When we were over there this weekend she was like, 'Does your wife not feed you? Why are you so thin?!'.

    Uh, he's thinner because I don't feed him shit because I don't want him to die from his diabetes. 
    My problem with this is two-fold. First, stupid. Secondly, I ABSOLUTELY loathe the implication that men cannot take care of themselves and that women's roles are somehow to be barefoot and pregnant and taking care of their dopey husbands. I love cooking for FI, but like hell would I marry a man who was incapable of monitoring his food intake.
    I feel like I need to clarify here....

    Your response is totally fair. I do the majority of the cooking in our house because I enjoy it but FI can cook. Our division of labor usually has him mowing the lawn, working on the house, or managing parental responsibilities for his son while I cook. I wouldn't marry a guy who couldn't take care of himself either. However, what FI thinks and what his SILs think are two different topics- their marriages don't determine ours.

    FI can take care of himself. He just cheats on his diabetic-friendly diet when he's with his family because they serve all of the unhealthy foods he grew up with that neither of us has learned to make. He knows that he's not good at behaving around those foods so we have made it a point not to learn how to make them. He just lets the ladies tease me about it when we're all together.
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  • OP, if your FILs are within a 2 hour drive of NYC, they are not actually in Upstate New York.

    Signed,
    Someone who lives actual upstate NY ;)
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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder
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    I've been engaged a few times, and I've been mostly lucky that none of my prospective PILs had ever said anything really profoundly stupid. I did have one ex whose parents were afraid every time he came to see me because they knew I'd take him to NYC. For whatever reason, they were not comfortable with the mass transit up here. I guess they thought we'd get mugged or stabbed or fall onto the tracks or something because you only hear about the awful things that happen on the subways.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • sarahuflsarahufl New York
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    OP, if your FILs are within a 2 hour drive of NYC, they are not actually in Upstate New York. Signed, Someone who lives actual upstate NY ;)

    SITB...

    Lol, guilty as charged. They live outside Poughkeepsie. Is that considered upstate? FI actually refers to northern Westchester as upstate, so I take my cues from him!
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  • I'm lucky that the only future IL I have is my FMIL. But, she gets obsessed with me turning into a baby factory.

    When she comes over, I'm usually in the middle of knitting something and 99.9% of the time, it's a baby-related item. She gets SO EXCITED thinking that I'm knitting something because I'm KTFU. It gets a little annoying because it stresses me out and we're not even trying yet.

    FI and I agreed that if/when we do start TTC to not tell her since it'll just turn the BSC up even more.

     Wedding Countdown Ticker




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  • cupcait927cupcait927 Western NY wine country
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    sarahufl said:
    OP, if your FILs are within a 2 hour drive of NYC, they are not actually in Upstate New York. Signed, Someone who lives actual upstate NY ;)

    SITB...

    Lol, guilty as charged. They live outside Poughkeepsie. Is that considered upstate? FI actually refers to northern Westchester as upstate, so I take my cues from him!
    From another upstate NY-er, Poughkeepsie is definitely downstate :)
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    mrsmagicgeek
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