Etiquette Question

kmatola18

So, with the Wedding about 6 weeks away, the RSVPs are coming in nicely and we've also started receiving Wedding gifts/$$ from those who cannot attend. (SO sweet of them!)

My question to all of you is whether I should start depositing the checks as I receive them OR if I should wait until after the Wedding.

I've read that you are supposed to open the gifts/envelopes, write/send a thank you, and then cash the check right away so that the sender knows that it arrived ok and it reconciles with their bank account right away.

I've also read that you aren't supposed to use/cash anything until after the Wedding *in case* the Wedding does not occur. 

Sidenote:  We weren't planning on using any shower gifts/early wedding gifts until after the wedding anyway in case we get any duplicates or change our mind on something.  The money would DEFINITELY come in handy right now as we begin sending in final payments-- but I also don't want to look money hungry if I cash the checks.

What do you all suggest??

Jules08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_wisconsin_etiquette-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:118Discussion:c5bbe98c-7385-47a6-aeeb-248db8075556Post:5e5d0c7f-abd6-45a2-8bcd-044dd3ec23f9">Etiquette Question</a>:
[QUOTE]I've read that you are supposed to open the gifts/envelopes, <strong>write/send a thank you, and then cash the check right away so that the sender knows that it arrived ok and it reconciles with their bank account right away.</strong> <strong>I've also read that you aren't supposed to use/cash anything until after the Wedding *in case* the Wedding does not occur.
</strong>Posted by kmatola18[/QUOTE]

This, but do NOT spend the $$ until AFTER the wedding.  Once you are closer to the wedding (a week or two maybe) you can hold onto the check until you cash any additional checks that you may receive at your wedding.

KatieD212

I think they will understand if you deposit the check.  They sent it to you for the wedding!  And I personally hate when my account isn't balanced as I had it written down, so it is nice when they cash the check right away so I am not worrying about it. 

LittleKatie13

Technically you're supposed to deposit the check but not spend the money, in case you need to send if back if the wedding should not occur.  And of course, write thank yous.  But, I think that we spend some of the money we received, because well, the only way we weren't getting married was if one of us died.  In which case, there'd be bigger issues than a couple of checks, right?

ehathewa

OK to cash check now and write a thank you, but don't spend it!

Additional thought: A friend of mine had problems cashing checks that were adressed to MR & MRS NewLastName until she had actually gotten married and legally changed her name.