Home cooked RD?

blabla89

FILs has previously insisted that they would pay for our RD, but last night FMIL threw a temper tantrum over nothing and said they won't be paying for it anymore. And that is fine, we know that we aren't entitled to anything from them. However, this means we no longer have the budget to host all of our family and OOT guests at a restaurant. We also aren't guaranteed a rehearsal at the venue if there's an event the night before, so we will probably invite only the WP and the officiant (and their SO's) over to FI's place to go over the ceremony.

So my question is, is it okay to serve a home cooked meal for the "rehearsal dinner"? As a guest, would you mind that? FI is a fabulous cook, and we would have plenty of food and drink for everyone.

HauteRoxy

Did you already send invites to OOT guests or anyone else about the before-mentioned rehearsal dinner before you FMIL pulled the plug? 

Even if you did, I see nothing wrong with your scenario. They are your WP which I assume are close to you and I doubt they would mind. I would actually prefer that. When MOH at my cousin's wedding I dreaded the RD. I don't know why . . 

Sounds like we could have related FMIL's. .

RebeccaFlower

Absolutely fabulous! As a guest, I would probably prefer it so I wouldn't be eating out two days in a row. 

Because I'm nosy... What are you thinking for a menu? And what is MILs problem? Good for you for not freaking out. 

kmmssg

I cooked the RD for my first wedding. It was what we could afford and we hosted everyone properly. Go for.it as long as you haven't already invited all your OOTs.

ShallowSeas

I wouldn't mind it a bit.  My sister did a home cooked meal for her RD with the help of her MIL and it was great. No one cared and everyone enjoyed it.

Senecaf

I think that would be nice. How would you work that out logistically though. Would he be cooking while everyone is mingling after the rehersal?

RebeccaFlower

Senecaf said:

I think that would be nice. How would you work that out logistically though. Would he be cooking while everyone is mingling after the rehersal?

I think it would be largely dependent on what they're having for a menu. Something easy like lasagnas or some other sort of pasta bake could be prepped and ready. 

Senecaf

RebeccaFlower said:

Senecaf said:

I think that would be nice. How would you work that out logistically though. Would he be cooking while everyone is mingling after the rehersal?

I think it would be largely dependent on what they're having for a menu. Something easy like lasagnas or some other sort of pasta bake could be prepped and ready. 

Good point. It wouldn't be terrible to be cooking while your guests are there. Dinner parties are done like that all the time.

beethery

Lasagna baked the night before, and re-heated in the oven is always amazing. Idk what kind of magic happens by refrigerating it overnight, but it always comes together better the next day.

I nearly always do that if I'm serving lasagna/baked ziti to guests.

Another fast/fresh option is steak pizzaiola. Make sauce and spaghetti, and grill steaks for everyone. Melt a little mozzarella on top of the steaks, and put them in spaghetti nests on each plate. Maybe add a little roasted red peppers to your sauce. Soooooo good. It's also good with a gorgonzola alfredo (that can be made the night before and reheated in a pan on the stove) 

blabla89

Since we probably won't be able to have a rehearsal at the venue anyway, we'll serve dinner when the guests arrive, and then talk through the logistics of the ceremony after dinner. This just came up last night, so we haven't thought about the menu yet. I'm loving all the suggestions - keep them coming!

We haven't sent invitations yet, hadn't even started planning the dinner that FILs were going to host, so that's not a problem. But FMIL is going to blow a fuse when she finds out that her family won't be invited to the RD...pass the wine, please.

RebeccaFlower

Uhg, sorry you're dealing with this, but I'm so glad you're getting the reigns back so you can do whatever you need to do. I think dinner first is a totally fabulous suggestion. 

I love planning menus, how many people do you think you'll be having total? 

ElcaB

I wouldn't mind at all. There's something endearing about it, IMO. 

climbingsingle

I wouldn't mind that at all!

blabla89

@RebeccaFlower probably around 15 people

Peaseblossom55

I wouldn't mind at all it sounds nice and relaxing.

beethery

@blabla89 you can always do pizza and beer too

RebeccaFlower

I agree, you really could make this an easy thing... I love the idea of lasagna (you could even do a regular and one spinach & butternut squash or something), pizza and a big salad. Maybe some garlic bread (can I tell I love carbs?!) with beer & wine. Shouldn't cost you more than $100-$125. 

buddysmom80

I would say pizza would be a good choice with salad from a local restaurant or like PP said lasagna re-heated is good. For 15 people I would make two pans maybe one meat and one vegetarian. You can get big bagged salads at BJ's or Costco too.

Put the lasagna in the oven to re-heat with some garlic bread (that's an easy recipe) and voila, instant dinner party!

Angusaur

I'm sorry to threadjack @blabla89 I'm just concerned because our wedding dates are the same weekend. Should I be planning/thinking about the RD already!?

[Deleted User]

You're hosting the people at the rehearsal, which is what matters. Home cooked is just fine.

Don't forget handy-dandy slow cookers; you could throw a meal in, go about your day, and when everyone comes over just pop some rolls in the oven or make a quick side salad. Done and done, with no worrying.

blabla89

@angusaur no, you're fine. I wasn't actually thinking about the RD until FMIL threw her fit (which was mostly unrelated) and now we're scrambling to make sure we have a backup plan. We probably won't think about it again until a few months before the wedding.

Angusaur

blabla89 said:

@angusaur no, you're fine. I wasn't actually thinking about the RD until FMIL threw her fit (which was mostly unrelated) and now we're scrambling to make sure we have a backup plan. We probably won't think about it again until a few months before the wedding.

*Stuck in the box*

Oh thank goodness, you scared me! I'm already freaking out enough about what I haven't done yet. :-P

Angusaur

I think I would personally enjoy a lowkey home cooked RD much more than a big production at a restaurant.

jenna8984

I was a bridesmaid in one where we all went back to their house for lasagna and salad. It turned into a party, other people stopped over after dinner to just drink and hang out. My brother did the same thing at his house- ordered pizza and salads and after we ate 20 more friends dropped by just to drink and party. It wasn't like a drunk blowout- everyone had a few and left at a reasonable hour. I found it really fun!!

RebeccaB88

Homecooked is great.  I like the ideas of any casseroles that can be prepared the night before and baked off right before the party. You could use a crockpot to keep pasta sauce warm, do the lasagna or baked ziti. Keep in mind anyone with celiac issues, if you have them. Salad is easy to do, and bread.

I know someone who did a thank you dinner for a group she worked on a project with. She did a chili feed. (I think there were 50-ish people). She made a traditional red chili, a white bean chili, and a vegetarian chili. Set out bowls of different cheeses, onions, sour cream, offered hot sauce, crackers, cornbread, and tortilla chips.  Threw together a salad and had purchased cookie platters for dessert.

You could also do a taco bar. Ground meat, pulled chicken, vegetarian beans, toppings, chips, tortillas, hard shells...

[Deleted User]

To go with the chilli idea, potato soup tends to also work well for make-you own bulk meals. Make a basic potato soup in the crock pot, and the lay out all your loaded baked potato fixings and croutons and crackers. Once again, a simple side salad and some oven-ready biscuits ties the whole thing together.

indianaalum

totally fine. As long as you host them, You are good. It's actually kinda sweet and laid back.

zitiqueen

The only people you have to host are those who take part in the actual rehearsal and their SOs. You don't have to invite all OOT guests as well.

lyndausvi

Totally fine.

lasagna 

pasta

Throw something like meatballs, roast beef or pulled pork in a crock pot with a side of rolls for sandwiches

Green salad or any other salad

order take out pizza or a deli tray.  Back where I come from delis have catering menus with hot foods like baked chicken, roast beef or whatever in big trays if you do not want to cook.

Even making up a lot of different appetizers will work.

JennyColada

Nomnomnom. I'd LOVE that.

Plus, I'd probably also bring an amazing dessert or some wine.

Nymeru

There is something so much more relaxed and enjoyable about a home-cooked RD. I would love it personally. We're just doing a giant bbq so that everyone can chill the night before the wedding.