Addressing Invites

georgiagirl515

I am going the two envelope route for our wedding invitations.  I've looked and found several pages that discuss how to address the inner envelope, but my question is; do you think it's terribly inappropriate to leave the inner envelope informal.

For example: Grandma or Mom?  Or simply listing everyone in the family by the first names?

Our wedding is not a black tie event and the outer envelopes will be addressed per "the rules", but I just feel that the inner envelopes should be less formal, more inviting so to speak.  Thanks for any and all feedback!

Maggie0829

I personally think it would be fine to list everyone by their first names on the inner envelope.  Of course that is not etiquette correct, but I would find it more welcoming and personable then the typical Mr and Mrs. Smith route.

I would, however, use their chosen name (whether that be a nickname that they prefer or their full first name...whatever that person typically goes by) then Grandma or Mom.

MamaAlly89

It's not the "proper" way to address the envelopes, but since you are not having an extremely formal affair I personally wouldn't mind it. I probably wouldn't even think twice about it.

Kerigirl9

I saw guidelines for inner envelopes that indicate that family members' inner envelopes should be addressed as what you call them. Mom and Dad, Grandma, Uncle Bob and Aunt Eileen, etc. I assume this is not etiquette approved but I kind of like it.

georgiagirl515

Thanks ladies!!!  I know the bride always cares more than what those receiving the invite will ha

Also Keri, your wedding is October 4?  So is mine!

Kerigirl9

Yup... October 4 or "10-4 good buddy" as FI calls it.

I just started addressing my invites too... I'm starting to get excited!

georgiagirl515

Good luck for the last bit of planning and have a wonderful wedding day!!

holyguacamole79

Kerigirl9 said:

I saw guidelines for inner envelopes that indicate that family members' inner envelopes should be addressed as what you call them. Mom and Dad, Grandma, Uncle Bob and Aunt Eileen, etc. I assume this is not etiquette approved but I kind of like it.

We did this. I was once invited to a wedding of a college classmate, and the inner envelope addressed me by my college nickname. I got a kick out of this, personally. I've found that the inner envelope can go either way.

banana468

Technically this is sending mixed messages.   The use of an inner envelope is more formal and then using informal titles conveys informality.      

theartistformerlyknownas

I'm also in the rule-breaker boat. Formal titles on the outside, first names on the inside except for older people like FI's grandma, who I addressed as Mrs. Lastname. Really not concerned about mixed formality messages. If you get my formal invitation for an evening wedding at a formal venue and seeing your first name on the inner envelope makes you think it's a barbecue... then I just can't help you.

FWIW, I was chatting about invitations with a friend a few days after they went out, and she hadn't even read the inner envelope. I mentioned something about the names on them (re. a friend who asked if his kids were invited, and I was kvetching about "read the dang envelope, man") and she had to go pull it out to check what hers even said. 

georgiagirl515

Let's hope there are no informality confusion as they are addressed and ready to be sent! 

Thanks again. for the help!