Wedding 911

Ceremony in jeopardy

FI and I are getting married in December, and we're planning on having a Catholic Mass. It's the second marriage for both of us, but neither one of us needed an annulment since neither marriage took place in a Catholic Church. Or so we thought... Yesterday the priest calls me and says there is an issue with my first marriage. I went to the rectory and found out that even though my X is Jewish, and the wedding took place at the reception hall, the marriage is still valid because there was a priest present, therefore making it valid. I spent the next 2 1/2 hours filling out 25 pages of paperwork, reliving the details of that horrible marriage for the Tribunal to approve. I was, and still am, beside myself. Growing up Catholic, I always dreamed of having a traditional, Catholic wedding ceremony. Now with only 5 months left, I feel like my dream is getting crushed. I feel like my wedding is now stuck. FI and I both want to get married in church. I don't know if we should wait and see what happens with the annulment, or if we should just cut our losses and look for another church (a Christian one, not Catholic) to get married in. I don't know what to do.

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Re: Ceremony in jeopardy

  • edited July 2014
    FI and I are getting married in December, and we're planning on having a Catholic Mass. It's the second marriage for both of us, but neither one of us needed an annulment since neither marriage took place in a Catholic Church. Or so we thought... Yesterday the priest calls me and says there is an issue with my first marriage. I went to the rectory and found out that even though my X is Jewish, and the wedding took place at the reception hall, the marriage is still valid because there was a priest present, therefore making it valid. I spent the next 2 1/2 hours filling out 25 pages of paperwork, reliving the details of that horrible marriage for the Tribunal to approve. I was, and still am, beside myself. Growing up Catholic, I always dreamed of having a traditional, Catholic wedding ceremony. Now with only 5 months left, I feel like my dream is getting crushed. I feel like my wedding is now stuck. FI and I both want to get married in church. I don't know if we should wait and see what happens with the annulment, or if we should just cut our losses and look for another church (a Christian one, not Catholic) to get married in. I don't know what to do.

    If being married in the church is important to you, then I would not get married in another church. If you want to have your marriage convalidated, you'll possibly have to go through another annulment. Also, if you marry outside of the Catholic Church, you and your (soon to be) husband will not be in a state of grace to receive Eucharist. Have you sent out any save the dates? You unfortunately might need to postpone the wedding as annulments can take a while.
  • Also, have you started pre Cana? Have you talked to the pastor of the church where you are getting married?
  • We are registered for the pre Cana for 7/19 and 7/26. Yes, I have sent out save the dates. I spoke to my priest and he said that the Tribunal member who is asking for this paperwork knows when the wedding date is and will try to get it approved before the wedding. My priest is on vacation now, but when he gets back I'm going to talk to him about the length of time, especially for things like invitations and floral decorations. The Tribunal waved the $1200 fee, which is good, but it's still upsetting.

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