We have a good friend who is ordained to do weddings and we are thinking of asking him to do our wedding. He's close to both of us, we absolutely love him, and is good with public speaking and things like that.
The problem is that a friend reminded me that over a year ago I had mentioned something to a different friend (We'll call him Mike) that it would be funny/cool for him to do our wedding. This was before I was engaged and we were drinking together at the time (you don't have to follow through with things you say when you're drink, right?
). Both my FI and I were pretty close to him at that time but neither of us see much of him anymore. He's a good guy but tends to make things about himself and he has a flair for the dramatics. We just don't see him as a good fit for that roll now. He's still invited to the wedding and all of that. But my friend told me that Mike said to her the other day that he was still hoping we were going to ask him and felt we should do it soon (not exactly sure why).
So, is it rude of us to ask the first friend to do our wedding and risk hurting Mike's feelings? I can definitely see Mike looking at it as us "replacing" him even though we never really asked him to do it officially. The other option is that we just hire a judge or someone professional.
Also, is it my responsibility to tell Mike that he's not going to be doing anything in the wedding? Do you have to let people know they're not in your wedding if you know they're assuming they are?