They don't expect me to wait, do they?

theartistformerlyknownas

I have two showers coming up, this Sunday and next Saturday. I've been getting gifts in the mail for about two weeks from people who can't make it to the shower. I've opened them all, made sure nothing was broken, stored them away in the basement until after the wedding and dutifully sent Thank You cards within a day or two. But it just occurred to me... people don't expect me to wait until the shower(s) to open these, do they? Like, bring them to the shower and open them there? Maybe not the ones just sent in a packing box, but the ones sent gift-wrapped by the store? I've seen people open gifts at showers from people who weren't in attendance, but I never thought about how those gifts got there; whether another family member delivered them to the shower on behalf of Great Aunt Gertrude, or if they were shipped to the bride who then brought them along with her. I know those people won't know whether or not I haul their gifts along to the shower, but if they get a Thank You card before the shower even takes place will I look super rude?

holyguacamole79

I've never heard of this (bringing shipped gifts to the shower to open). I also don't think anyone will be upset for getting a thank-you before the actual shower. I think you're good.

kla728

The shower my FSIL is throwing me is Sunday, and I've gotten 4 gifts in the mail over the last week or two.  I'm honestly not sure if these folks are attending or not.  The shower is in another state, and after talking to FMIL it sounds like she suggested to a few folks that they could ship bigger gifts to us so we wouldn't have to drive home with them.  I've done TY cards for them all, and also had Fi take pictures of me either opening the gifts or just with the gifts so that I can show them to the gift givers.  

Not sure how common this scenario is but I'm rolling with it.  

theartistformerlyknownas

Most of mine are from out of state, a few mentioned in the card that they were sorry they couldn't make the shower but looked forward to the wedding, and one is actually coming to the shower and said she'd give me a card then. She sounded surprised that I had opened it already when I called to thank her personally (sent a card too, but the gift was overwhelmingly generous).

LondonLisa

I think maybe some people would want you to open it at the shower so everyone can see what you were given. I don't know if this is an absolute rule, and I wouldn't be offended by it. 

I would think of it like gifts from distant relatives that were sent beforehand at Christmas. Usually they were put under the tree for my bothers, sisters and I to open them up on Christmas morning. 

Again, maybe this is where they are coming from and I highly doubt anyone would be seriously offended if you did it one way or the other. 

photokitty

FWIW - If I want the bride to open my gift at the shower I will send it to the hostess of the party. I would have her contact info from the invite. If I send it to the bride I would never dream of her schlepping it back and forth just to entertain people and show off my fabulous gift.

I say open them, send the thank you note asap and leave them at home when you go to the shower

eta - words are hard

ab6704a

photokitty said:

FWIW - If I want the bride to open my gift at the shower I will send it to the hostess of the party. I would have her contact info from the invite. If I send it to the bride I would never dream of her schlepping it back and forth just to entertain people and show off my fabulous gift.

I say open them, send the thank you note asap and leave them at home when you go to the shower

eta - words are hard

This is what handful of guests did at my shower. They shipped gifts/mailed cards to the hostess who brought them with her for me to open at the shower.  Any gifts sent directly to me were opened at home and a thank you note mailed promptly.