When to ask your wedding party

aburgardt

Our wedding isn't until October of 2016.  When is the best time to start asking friends/family to be your bridesmaids? When is too soon?

southernbelle0915

Now is definitely WAY too soon. 

Generally, I think about 10 months before the wedding is pretty standard, so around January 2016 for you. That'll give you a lot of time to think about who you want up there, how big you want your WP to be, etc. Don't feel pressured to ask this early. A lot can happen in 2+ years. 

climbingsingle

It's definitely way too soon. I'd also wait until about 10 months out.

lmcooper86

Wait. A good friend of mine asked her BMs right away but had a 2 year engagement. By the time the wedding rolled around she wasn't really close with 3 of them anymore and sort of wished she hadn't asked them.

My wedding is in 10 months and I have only asked my MOH (my sister, we both knew it was going to be her so I didn't bother waiting); I'm waiting until the end of the summer before I ask the other 3 girls.

pinkcow13

I think it all depends on your relationship with these girls. My MOH is my best friend (since childhood), so she already knew she was my MOH. I asked her pretty much after I told her I got engaged. Same with my bridesmaids. I know friendships do change, but these are people that I have been friends with for years, through thick or thin, and there is NO one else that I would want to be in my bridal party. That worked for me and I think that this is a personal decision which can vary.

McBeth2013

I think it can depend on the situations of your prospective bridesmaids. I asked 1 immediately, though we planned on having a 1.5 years engagement, because I wanted to give her enough time to see if she'd be able to make it (she's one of our closest friends, and we were 2 of the cheesy girls who'd always said we'd be each other's bridesmaids, but she lived in a location that was far away from the wedding location with expensive flights). It worked out great with her, as she was able to budget and attend, and we found somewhere she could stay for free, etc. to cut down on her costs. She wouldn't have been able to attend if we'd given her less notice. So, just something to consider- sometimes it is good to ask well in advance.

However, my other 3 bridesmaids were all local to the wedding. I still asked them more than a year in advance, and I'd say it was too far. 1 of them I grew much less close with over the course of the engagement, and if I'd waited I probably wouldn't have asked her at all honestly. It still worked out fine and she's a great person, just a lot can change in over a year. 

eilis1228

I would definitely wait. I'm planning on asking when we're about a year out from the wedding. Some friendships can change quickly, and you never know who else you'll befriend between now and then.

dcaviston

Wait on this. I asked my WP immediately after and now I have 2 girls I'm kinda wishing I didn't ask because we've fallen out of touch. But I'm not getting married for another year so you never know what will happen with those friendships, but as some one who was eager to get started planning, this is one thing that can wait a bit.

[Deleted User]

I can't stress enough on waiting. Ask your bridesmaids around 9 months off from the wedding.  Still gives them plenty of time to get dresses or whatever.

lmcooper86

To clarify, part of the reason I am waiting is because I haven't decided if I will ask my FSIL to be in the wedding. We get along very well but aren't omgbesties. I know that I will be asking my 3 close girlfriends, but just want to make sure that my relationship with my FSIL is really solid before I decide about asking her. I don't want to be asking my 3 girlfriends now and then asking her 2 months later and making her feel like an after thought.