July 2014 Weddings

Asking to be invited to a wedding: shame on you

My fiance and I are 33 and 35. I think this contributes to the fact that we have a large guest list. Instead of just inviting cousins, we have to invite cousins, their spouses, and their children. Situations like that made our guest list a challenge. Eventually we had to make some cuts, or to put a stop to it. Yes, I loved so-and-so when I was 15, but I also haven't talked to them in the last 15 years - therefore, not on the list.

Still, I am shocked and appalled at how many people expected to be invited, and were willing to tell my parents or myself so. Thank goodness, I didn't have the small, simple, but elegant wedding I wanted - I can only imagine how many would have been up in arms about it then.

One lady made the comment that she was surprised at "who made the cut and who didn't."

One group asked if they were invited, and then hasn't talked to me much since they weren't.

One couple asked my dad if they were invited and then when they weren't, asked again. 10 days before the wedding.

But the story that is by far the worst, and really leaves a bad taste in my mouth, is our new pastor. Our former church pastor was at our church for 10 years and more like family than friend. He is taking a part in the ceremony. In came our new pastor and his wife. We decided not to invite him since he is still so new and we didn't want to step on the toes of the former pastor (our ceremony is not at our church). The new guy has only been there two Sundays, and there is only one Sunday between now and my wedding. During the church prayers, I asked for prayer for my fiance and I as our wedding gets closer. The pastor then asked if everyone there was welcome to attend. Caught completely off guard, and put on the spot, I said, sure. In actuality, the ceremony/reception is invite-only and the invites went out months ago. While most church members are invited, not every single one of them is. As if that isn't bad enough, as I went to take communion (a time which should be holy, and he, as a pastor, should know that), he asked me if he was supposed to come to the wedding. I said I didn't know and stepped away. He stepped toward me and said, "what do you mean you don't know? It's your event?" Say what? I still can't believe that somebody would have the audacity to ask me that. Especially a pastor. Especially during communion.

When did people become so rude and expecting? These kind of situations make me want to nix the whole list!!!

Anybody else experience something similar?
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