Phone free ceremony: Rude or not?

JMS62415

My Photographer brought up possibly having a phone and technology free ceremony for a couple reasons. 1) It's a Catholic ceremony and people should be focusing on the ceremony and 2) I don't want a bunch of arms or heads in the shots when I'm paying a couple grand for a professional photographer. Another thing, guests can go online and download all the pictures after the ceremony for free. 

Do you think that's rude? My mom freaked out that I even brought it up. I don't want any of my pictures messed up but I don't want to ask people to do that if it's super rude though. 

photokitty

Yes, It is rude to tell your guests how to act. Your photographer is lazy or not experienced if they don't know how to shoot a wedding without a guest ruining shots.

If you are worried about having guests heads in your photos you might want to consider not inviting any - sorry, but heads and people in general will be in a number of the photos. I'm not sure how dictating adults behavior will change the placement of their heads.

The only time it is ok to tell guests that they cannot take photos is if the church forbids it. This is rare and extreme and typically they don't allow pro-photographers int he sanctuary either. Be glad you don't have to deal with this.

Listen to your mom, she is reacting the way most of your guests would to this suggestion. It is rude and something perpetuated by lazy photographers who are not good enough at their job to deal with the wedding environment.

Personally I would never hire a photographer that even suggested telling my guests what to do. GL!

JMS62415

photokitty said:

Yes, It is rude to tell your guests how to act. Your photographer is lazy or not experienced if they don't know how to shoot a wedding without a guest ruining shots.

If you are worried about having guests heads in your photos you might want to consider not inviting any - sorry, but heads and people in general will be in a number of the photos. I'm not sure how dictating adults behavior will change the placement of their heads.

The only time it is ok to tell guests that they cannot take photos is if the church forbids it. This is rare and extreme and typically they don't allow pro-photographers int he sanctuary either. Be glad you don't have to deal with this.

Listen to your mom, she is reacting the way most of your guests would to this suggestion. It is rude and something perpetuated by lazy photographers who are good enough at their job to deal with the wedding environment.

Personally I would never hire a photographer that even suggested telling my guests what to do. GL!

She brought it up as just something to think about. She never said it would be a problem. She's very good at what she does so I'm sure she'll do a great job. My mom just has a tendency to be dramatic and a "her way or the highway" mentality so I wanted a second opinion. Thank you for that. Now I know not to ask them to do that.

elizabethciara

I think that it'd be okay to include on your program a line to the effect of:

"In the spirit of living in the moment, please consider leaving the photographic memories to our photographer. We want to share this special moment in our lives with you - not your screen. Love, the Bridge & Groom"

My fiance and I took a trip to Washington D.C. for July 4th and were floored to see 75% of the people on the Mall Lawn watching the fireworks through their phone and camera screens.

JoanE2012

elizabethciara said:

I think that it'd be okay to include on your program a line to the effect of:

"In the spirit of living in the moment, please consider leaving the photographic memories to our photographer. We want to share this special moment in our lives with you - not your screen. Love, the Bridge & Groom"

My fiance and I took a trip to Washington D.C. for July 4th and were floored to see 75% of the people on the Mall Lawn watching the fireworks through their phone and camera screens.

There's something very off-putting about this.  

Personally, I don't mind.  I find it sorta flattering that people care enough about us to want to take photos of the event.  One of my favorite photos came from a guest, not our photographer.  We also have video of our ceremony thanks to a guest who told us after he filmed it.  And yet, our photographer still managed to get wonderful photos without arms and cameras in the shots.

hi_imkrista

personally, i'm having an "unplugged" wedding for the ceremony portion, I don't feel that the photographer is being "lazy" by suggesting this. our photographer AND officiant both showed examples of key shots that were ruined by a guest jumping in front to get a picture with their ipad, or portions of the ceremony that were interrupted by someone who forgot to turn their cellphone on vibrate.

chibiyui

hi_imkrista said:

personally, i'm having an "unplugged" wedding for the ceremony portion, I don't feel that the photographer is being "lazy" by suggesting this. our photographer AND officiant both showed examples of key shots that were ruined by a guest jumping in front to get a picture with their ipad, or portions of the ceremony that were interrupted by someone who forgot to turn their cellphone on vibrate.

QueerFemme

Telling your guests what they should be focused on or to be in the moment is condescending and rude. You could just have the officiant or priest say "please, no flash photography during the ceremony" and leave it at that. But people will still do it.

AddieCake

Ugh. Not this again. Don't tell people how to behave at your ceremony. And this "in the moment" and"being present" bullshit makes brides and grooms sound like pretentious douchebags, frankly.

NYCMercedes

I was at a non-church wedding last Saturday. Phones were up all during the ridiculously long processional (17 attendants). Once all were seated I saw NOT ONE phone up in the air. Adults know how to behave, and if not, usually take cues from those around them. Don't mention it and don't worry about it.

emanon321

I am actually having to tackle this as the church for the ceremony does not allow photography. We got a page of strict rules for the professional to follow. We are going to spread the info by word of mouth, but we are having an extremely small wedding so there won't be too many people to tell.

Marzipan13

So, here's my problem with this.  Let's set up a scenario, shall we?

I'm a good friend of yours!  I traveled a long way to be here to witness your marriage and celebrate with you!  I'm super excited about you wedding, and I moved mountains to be here.  I really want to take a picture of you / your WP / you & your FI...............but I can't because YOU don't want me to.  

OP, people who take pictures of your marriage ceremony are excited for you.  They aren't trying to undermine your wedding or the photographer's job.  Your photographer, however, might need a lesson in photography if he can't take pictures while other people do. 

photokitty

emanon321 said:

I am actually having to tackle this as the church for the ceremony does not allow photography. We got a page of strict rules for the professional to follow. We are going to spread the info by word of mouth, but we are having an extremely small wedding so there won't be too many people to tell.

If the church has this rule than that is one time it is ok to tell your guests that photography is not allowed. 

You can include it in the program, just please don't use any of the "be present" garbage, and/or the officiant can make an announcement before the ceremony starts. 

If the church does not allow photography you are not being rude by asking your guest to follow their rules. Just let the priest/ officiant make the guests aware of the rule. Word of mouth is also fine.

[Deleted User]

I think out of all m wedding photos, there was only one photo taken where someone was caught taking a picture but it didn't ruin my picture as they were in the background. My guests behaved themselves and didn't poke their heads out into the isle or their cameras either so my photographer got great shots of us. Like other posters said, once the ceremony started everyone sat quietly, but then again, I was in my own little world with my husband that I didn't notice anything else going on around us. Heck, didn't even notice until after the ceremony that the pastor forgot to do our vows.

hyechica81

unless your church has a strick rule that only the professional photo guy can take the photos then asking them not to is rude my photographer was able to take shots without people getting in the way during the ceremony 

leelabear

I wouldn't be upset if someone politely suggested that I don't take any photos or refrain from taking too many. I think it would be much better as a suggestion and not a demand. Also let them know you plan on sharing the professional photographer's photos on your website, etc (assuming you have full rights to your photos).