I encountered the rudest man ever yesterday.

climbingsingle

A little background: I have very pale skin. I burn very easily. Also, skin cancer runs in my family, so I wear sunscreen daily. 

I was at my usual nail salon with my MOH, getting our bi-weekly pedicures. A man walked in and was seated in the chair next to me. MOH and I were chatting. This man interrupted our conversation to say to me, "You don't like the sun?' 

Now, I knew instantly where he was going with this. It's not exactly the first time someone has made a comment to me about being pale. But I wanted to make him feel stupid. 

Me: What? 

Him: You don't like the sun?

Me: Uh. What?

Him: The sun! You don't like it?

Me: I like the sun. 

Him: Well you're very pale. 

Me: Yes, well my dad has skin cancer so I try to be careful. 

Him: Oh, skin cancer runs in my family too, but obviously I don't listen. 

Me: Ok. 

I turned back towards my friend and the whole nail place went silent. After a few minutes he said, "I didn't mean to offend you."

Really? Then why the fuck did you say what you did? Why is it OK to comment on the color of my skin? 

So, this dickwad starts complaining about his pedicure. She didn't cut his nails enough, she didn't massage him enough. He bitched about everything. 

MOH and I are then talking about my wedding. Jerkface interrupts again to ask me if I'm getting married. 

Him: When are you getting married?

Me: September. 

Him: Oh, that's nice. September what?

Me: 27th.

Him: Who's doing your photography? 

Me: Uhhhhhh. A family friend. 

Him: Oh, OK. 

After that, I got up to go to the waxing room to get my eyebrows waxed. While I was in there, he asked my friend how old I was. 

Him: How old is she?

Her: Why?

Him: She looks really young to be getting married. What is she, 25?

Her: She's old enough to get married. 

Dudes. I'm 33 years old. Also, 25 is not that young to get married. What the hell?? 

While I was getting my eyebrows done, I was talking to the owner. Apparently this asshole comes in often and causes a problem every time. I just hope I don't see him there again. 

southernbelle0915

I think it's a vicious cycle with people like this. They're weird and socially awkward so they don't have any friends. They don't have any friends, so they spend time alone. They spend a lot of time alone with their weird selves, so they're even weirder and more socially awkward. And the cycle spirals downward. 

ETF: hard words.

climbingsingle

Even the way he treated the women that work at the salon was horrible. He talked down to them. It made me so angry. 

emmaaa

I hate when people comment on my skin. Yes, I know I am pale. Yup, I also know I have a lot of freckles. My red hair? Yeah, it's natural. Oh I should get out in the sun more often? Thanks for the input.

emmyg65

You need to practice your resting bitchy face! Strangers never talk to me. It's the best.

climbingsingle

emmyg65 said:

You need to practice your resting bitchy face! Strangers never talk to me. It's the best.

I actually do have a bitchy resting face! I get people telling me to smile all the time. WHY do people make these comments. I seriously don't understand. 

AddieCake

How bizarre. I hate when strangers make small talk with me as it is, let alone to be nosy. 

sarawifenow

That is just weird. People make comments like that to me about my eyes. They are really really blue and I actually had one lady ask me if I was blind. Um...right....

JCbride2015

SaraBrideSoon said:

That is just weird. People make comments like that to me about my eyes. They are really really blue and I actually had one lady ask me if I was blind. Um...right....

WHAT?  You should have said yes just to see her response.

wandajune6

emmaaa said:

I hate when people comment on my skin. Yes, I know I am pale. Yup, I also know I have a lot of freckles. My red hair? Yeah, it's natural. Oh I should get out in the sun more often? Thanks for the input.

Freckly redhead here too. I get the same bullshit all the time. My niece looks like a mini-me (her mom and I are identical twins). She's 2. We get comments from strangers when we cover her in head-to-toe sunscreen. Idiots.

southernbelle0915

JCbride2015 said:

SaraBrideSoon said:

That is just weird. People make comments like that to me about my eyes. They are really really blue and I actually had one lady ask me if I was blind. Um...right....

WHAT?  You should have said yes just to see her response.

I see what you did there...  

@sarabridesoon - you should have said yes and then asked her to help you with all kinds of ridiculous stuff - is there stuff in your teeth? can she read the menu to you? can she help you go to the bathroom? etc... 

sarawifenow

@southernbelle0915-Genious! I will remember this!

mrsmorales2be

This could totally be my story!  I like my pale, freckled skin and curly, light red hair.  I do not like burning to a crisp every time I'm in the sun for more than 5 minutes.  This IS as dark as I get.  I'm so sorry my glow-in-the-dark paleness blinds you - want some sunglasses?

Ugh.  Some people!

pinkcow13

That is so shitty. I hate when people make stupid comments or try to initiate small talk. What an ass.

cupcait927

ClimbingBrideNY said:

emmyg65 said:

You need to practice your resting bitchy face! Strangers never talk to me. It's the best.

I actually do have a bitchy resting face! I get people telling me to smile all the time. WHY do people make these comments. I seriously don't understand. 

People telling me to smile is right up there in my top 5 most annoying comments from strangers. No, I'm not upset. This is just how my face looks. Please stop telling me to smile.

chibiyui

Working retail, I get inappropriate comments/questions all the time. Usually it's asking if I'm pregnant. Sometimes it's asking if "I can take a compliment" and then saying I look nice/dress nice. (Hint: asking if someone can take a compliment, doesn't make your compliment ok, it makes you a creep)

The best was when I was in high school. I'd get dudes in their late 20's early 30's asking what my ethnicity was. And then when I answered they'd always be like, oh I thought you were such and such. Dude I'm 17. I am not who you want to take home to Mom.

I get this less now, I don't run like I used to, so I don't tan as much, and my resting bitch face is perfected.

Inkdancer

mrsmorales2be said:

This could totally be my story!  I like my pale, freckled skin and curly, light red hair.  I do not like burning to a crisp every time I'm in the sun for more than 5 minutes.  This IS as dark as I get.  I'm so sorry my glow-in-the-dark paleness blinds you - want some sunglasses?

Ugh.  Some people!

My dad is native american, and he jokes that I glow in the dark. But my FI's family is really nice! They're all fairly dark-skinned for white people, and they tell me I have a great complexion. Grandma pats my cheeks and tells me they're soft a lot. I let her, she's 93 and very bored.

sophhabobopha

I feel your pain sister about all of that. What a fucking dork.

emmaaa

Inkdancer said:

mrsmorales2be said:

This could totally be my story!  I like my pale, freckled skin and curly, light red hair.  I do not like burning to a crisp every time I'm in the sun for more than 5 minutes.  This IS as dark as I get.  I'm so sorry my glow-in-the-dark paleness blinds you - want some sunglasses?

Ugh.  Some people!

My dad is native american, and he jokes that I glow in the dark. But my FI's family is really nice! They're all fairly dark-skinned for white people, and they tell me I have a great complexion. Grandma pats my cheeks and tells me they're soft a lot. I let her, she's 93 and very bored.

FI is part native American (Cherokee and Lumbee). He tans so easily but because of the Lumbee he is fairly light in the winter and the Cherokee makes him dark and red during the summer. I look like a ghost in his family.

alpacalunch

cupcait927 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

emmyg65 said:

You need to practice your resting bitchy face! Strangers never talk to me. It's the best.

I actually do have a bitchy resting face! I get people telling me to smile all the time. WHY do people make these comments. I seriously don't understand. 

People telling me to smile is right up there in my top 5 most annoying comments from strangers. No, I'm not upset. This is just how my face looks. Please stop telling me to smile.

Agreed! Also, whose business is it if I'm smiling? I've had strangers say 'you're too pretty not to be smiling'. Well they can shove it. It's nearly always men saying it to women, and rubs me the wrong way. I don't care the intention, it's just so presumptuous. 

But BRF is a wonderful thing, that I've had since elementary school. Literally, grade four recess "why are you so mad?" "I'm not mad, this is just my face".

KatieinBkln

Why do people make comments? It's just not necessary. If you want to compliment someone, compliment them. Tell them you love their skirt or, if they are already smiling, what a pretty smile they have. Compliment a CHOICE they're making, not some aspect of their body that is beyond their control. Don't try to exert your OWN control over them by demanding they smile, explain their heritage/sunscreen choices to you, or answer your interrogations about whatever they overheard you speaking about. Simply, I don't know, treat the stranger you wish to engage with as if she were a fellow human being? Is that so fucking hard?

Ugh, RAGE CITY today. 

climbingsingle

KatieinBkln said:

Why do people make comments? It's just not necessary. If you want to compliment someone, compliment them. Tell them you love their skirt or, if they are already smiling, what a pretty smile they have. Compliment a CHOICE they're making, not some aspect of their body that is beyond their control. Don't try to exert your OWN control over them by demanding they smile, explain their heritage/sunscreen choices to you, or answer your interrogations about whatever they overheard you speaking about. Simply, I don't know, treat the stranger you wish to engage with as if she were a fellow human being? Is that so fucking hard?

Ugh, RAGE CITY today. 

Dude, EXACTLY! What the fuck. I hate people. 

beethery

chrisandcait said:

cupcait927 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

emmyg65 said:

You need to practice your resting bitchy face! Strangers never talk to me. It's the best.

I actually do have a bitchy resting face! I get people telling me to smile all the time. WHY do people make these comments. I seriously don't understand. 

People telling me to smile is right up there in my top 5 most annoying comments from strangers. No, I'm not upset. This is just how my face looks. Please stop telling me to smile.

Agreed! Also, whose business is it if I'm smiling? I've had strangers say 'you're too pretty not to be smiling'. Well they can shove it. It's nearly always men saying it to women, and rubs me the wrong way. I don't care the intention, it's just so presumptuous. 

But BRF is a wonderful thing, that I've had since elementary school. Literally, grade four recess "why are you so mad?" "I'm not mad, this is just my face".

Strangers on the street telling me to smile get an eyeroll and a "I don't show my teeth for strangers."

jules3964

Red hair, freckles, and pale skin here too. I used to get comments about the paleness, but for some reason not any more... not in a long time. Maybe I've perfected my bitchy resting face and don't even know it?

One time a guy in a grocery store parking lot approached me, commented on my pale skin tone and told me to BE SURE to ALWAYS wear sunscreen. Then he kept staring at me as he walked away. It still creeps me out when I think about it—because part of me wonders if he was a psychic or something. Just the way he was acting was really weird. Most likely he just had a loved one affected by skin cancer and wanted to spread the word. But still... please don't stare at me creepy-like.

And I do wear sunscreen, thank you. I burn in 5 minutes otherwise. 

ohannabelle

Why are people not taught manners? This one is important: Don't make personal remarks to strangers. Just don't. (Even if you think it's pleasant conversation, it might be something unhappy or annoying to them.)

loveislouder

I hate how some people think everything is their business.  I'm a pretty big girl, and I am WELL aware. You don't have to tell me.

 I went to McDonalds one afternoon to pick up some hang over food for my FI and his brother. I ended up getting 6 double cheese burgers and 4 pies. 3 for each of them, and 2 pies for each. This guy came up to me and was like "You realize if you keep eating like that you're not going to live very long, right? You're already huge."   WELL THANKS ASSHOLE. I don't even like McDonalds.

mysticl

I am very pale. I burn easily. My mother also burns easily so she has been slathering sun screen on me since long before using something with an SPF was cool. So the first time DH took me to meet his mom I asked him if she had said anything about me and he said that her comment was I am too pale. Then a little while later she looks at me and asks me if I don't get any sun.  I just said no.  The thing was even if I didn't burn so easily I wouldn't be in the sun.  At the time I worked minimum 9 hour days.  I left my house at 7am and got home at 6pm at the earliest. In the winters I barely saw the sun, my office didn't even have a window. On weekends I slept, cleaned, did dishes, did laundry, and spent time with her son.  I didn't go sit outside in the sun. She on the other hand worked in a school so she had summers off so she had free time on her hands to go do stuff. 

Oh, and thanks to that sunscreen and my daily tea drinking people consistently peg me for 10 years younger than I am.  

mysticl

chrisandcait said:

cupcait927 said:

ClimbingBrideNY said:

emmyg65 said:

You need to practice your resting bitchy face! Strangers never talk to me. It's the best.

I actually do have a bitchy resting face! I get people telling me to smile all the time. WHY do people make these comments. I seriously don't understand. 

People telling me to smile is right up there in my top 5 most annoying comments from strangers. No, I'm not upset. This is just how my face looks. Please stop telling me to smile.

Agreed! Also, whose business is it if I'm smiling? I've had strangers say 'you're too pretty not to be smiling'. Well they can shove it. It's nearly always men saying it to women, and rubs me the wrong way. I don't care the intention, it's just so presumptuous. 

But BRF is a wonderful thing, that I've had since elementary school. Literally, grade four recess "why are you so mad?" "I'm not mad, this is just my face".

This is one of my issues too. First of all who goes around smiling all the time? Second, I had a lot of orthodontic work done as a child that I didn't want to show off and now one of my front teeth is cracked (it's not noticeable, but I know it's there) and as a result I tend to be self-conscious about my smile. 

ETF: extra quote boxes

climbingsingle

loveislouder said:

I hate how some people think everything is their business.  I'm a pretty big girl, and I am WELL aware. You don't have to tell me.

 I went to McDonalds one afternoon to pick up some hang over food for my FI and his brother. I ended up getting 6 double cheese burgers and 4 pies. 3 for each of them, and 2 pies for each. This guy came up to me and was like "You realize if you keep eating like that you're not going to live very long, right? You're already huge."   WELL THANKS ASSHOLE. I don't even like McDonalds.

What??!?! That is crazy. I don't condone violence, but I hope you kicked him in the shin really fucking hard. 

Gustafson28

Ugh! I have inflammatory rosacea and people ask me what's wrong with my face all the time. It's beyond insulting. One person was actually upset that I was offended and told me "not to make things awkward". Really? A lady on the plane even asked me about it on our way to the honeymoon. I told her what I have then she wanted full details on the condition. Let me fucking google that for you. Rant over ha ha

KatieinBkln

Gustafson28 said: Ugh! I have inflammatory rosacea and people ask me what's wrong with my face all the time. It's beyond insulting. One person was actually upset that I was offended and told me "not to make things awkward". Really? A lady on the plane even asked me about it on our way to the honeymoon. I told her what I have then she wanted full details on the condition. Let me fucking google that for you. Rant over ha ha


Wait, SERIOUSLY? Someone insulted you and then got mad that YOU were "making it awkward" by BEING INSULTED?

There isn't enough coffee in the world to keep me from internet-punching this person. I am SO FURIOUS on your behalf.

ETF boxes, spacing. TK is never going to fix this shit, are they?