Fifty Shades of Grey

theycallmelinz

Clearly I have way too much time on my hands at work, because I'm starting this conversation. What do you guys think of these books/idea of the movie Fifty Shades of Grey?

I've read all 3 books, multiple times for some reason, and I'm gonna be honest when I say I'm pretty excited to see the movie. But I have some thoughts.

1) The more I read the books, I really don't like Ana. She's annoying and incredibly immature to me.

2) I really hate the language in the book. Not the profanity, but just how they talk in general. I think it's because I'm way on the other side of the country than where the book is based, so our dialects are obviously drastically different. The author can't help this, but it gets under my skin a little. Maybe because I don't like main characters that I just can't relate to? 

3) Who really wants a broken man? I mean he's got baggage for dayssssss.

4)Totally not happy with the cast they chose for the movie. I think I could forgive Ana's annoyingness if she was hot. And WHYTHEFUCKNOT Ian Somerhalder for Christian Grey?!?

5) At the end of the day, I'm gonna go see the movie and see how they manage to pull this off with it's very X-ratedness, but I don't know how I feel about the books anymore. 

Now make me feel less embarrassed by leaving your thoughts here so I know I'm not the only one who cares about this dumb topic

emmaaa

I've never read the books so I can't comment. I never have had an interest in them either.

However, my FSIL and friends have seemed to enjoy them and excited for the movie.

beethery

I refuse to read the books, and instead, I read Jenny Trout's recaps. (click)

I knew from the get-go that the relationship depicted was an unhealthy one, and reading the recaps really breaks it down for you. In particular, if a crazy man breaks into your home after you've gone to a bar with your friend (against your asshole husband's wishes) and your husband says he wants to 'beat the shit out of you' because you weren't home, shit ain't right. I know lots of ladies who have read all of the books and still said, "Oh Christian gets much better as the books go on. I wish SO was like him." I side-eye the shit out of them and have told them flat-out that they are crazy.

Also, the lady that wrote this Twilight fanfiction is from the UK, and apparently that had a pretty good bearing on the vernacular she used in the 50 Shades books.

AddieCake

Being well-versed in real BDSM, I have little patience for bandwagon BDSM for soccer moms.

beethery

AddieCake said:

Being well-versed in real BDSM, I have little patience for bandwagon BDSM for soccer moms.

THIS. ALL DAY.

sarawifenow

I read the first book and actually was sick to my stomach at the end of it. I guess I am just not into the whole "hit me because it turns you on" sorta thing. One of my girlfriends loved it, though.

theycallmelinz

beethery said:

I refuse to read the books, and instead, I read Jenny Trout's recaps. (click)

I knew from the get-go that the relationship depicted was an unhealthy one, and reading the recaps really breaks it down for you. In particular, if a crazy man breaks into your home after you've gone to a bar with your friend (against your asshole husband's wishes) and your husband says he wants to 'beat the shit out of you' because you weren't home, shit ain't right. I know lots of ladies who have read all of the books and still said, "Oh Christian gets much better as the books go on. I wish SO was like him." I side-eye the shit out of them and have told them flat-out that they are crazy.

Also, the lady that wrote this Twilight fanfiction is from the UK, and apparently that had a pretty good bearing on the vernacular she used in the 50 Shades books.

I love you for using the word 'vernacular'. I was trying to think of what that word was and couldn't remember even after googling, so I went with language instead haha. I wondered if her being from the UK had anything to do with her being so off on how we speak, but I've never been to Washington state or Canada so maybe people there really do talk like that there. If so, I don't mean to offend anyone there by saying your dialect is annoying, it's more likely that the book is just poorly written and the characters are annoying.

Yeah, the relationship is really unhealthy. I don't care how 'concerned for my wellbeing' my FI is. If he was pulling shit like showing up at my job or my house (before we had a house together) because I didn't do as he said or even changed plans, we definitely wouldn't be together today. I actually tell my FI all the time that he's not the boss of me. And that's only when he tells me to move my vehicle or something because it's blocking him in haha. 

Edited because I got excited and didn't spell-check.

Maggie0829

I have read the books.  It was nice mindless reading when I had nothing better to do at work.

I have zero idea how they are going to make them into a movie that fans of the book with be happy with.  I mean the reason why people read the books was for the sex parts, not the plot.  So if they don't show the sex scenes in full force then what is the point?

Honestly, I didn't even think about the unhealthiness of the relationship.  I guess I just never think about things like that because, it is fiction and supposed to be just a "fun" read.  Nothing more, nothing less.  But then again I never really read into things when I read a book.  If it can grab my attention and keep it then I am happy.  Once I am done reading it I no longer really think about it and just move on to the next book I found.  Needless to say I would be a sucky addition to a book club

chibiyui

I fucking hate this series.

First. It's shit.

Second. If I'm reading porn. I expect porn. Not bullshit like "he touches me down there" I want detail. I want someone who isn't afraid to say vagina. Clit. Pussy. Cunt. Nethers. Any fucking thing but "down there"

Third. The books make it sound like BDSM is the only thing wrong with Christian. Fuck that. The most stable part of this motherfucker is "oh yeah there's supposed to be safewords" it also shows that the author has no imagination and never bothered to even fucking Google s&m. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.

4th. The writing is really bad. Like my 8th grade sailor moon fan fiction bad.

holyguacamole79

beethery said:

I refuse to read the books, and instead, I read Jenny Trout's recaps. (click)

I knew from the get-go that the relationship depicted was an unhealthy one, and reading the recaps really breaks it down for you. In particular, if a crazy man breaks into your home after you've gone to a bar with your friend (against your asshole husband's wishes) and your husband says he wants to 'beat the shit out of you' because you weren't home, shit ain't right. I know lots of ladies who have read all of the books and still said, "Oh Christian gets much better as the books go on. I wish SO was like him." I side-eye the shit out of them and have told them flat-out that they are crazy.

Also, the lady that wrote this Twilight fanfiction is from the UK, and apparently that had a pretty good bearing on the vernacular she used in the 50 Shades books.

jdluvr06

I read them and I wish I hadn't. Moving past the unhealthy relationship and juvenile sex scenes (seriously I've read Nora Roberts books with steamier sex scenes, people who thought the sex in this book were super scandalous need to read more erotica), the writing was just bad. Seriously the writing was atrocious. Add in the fact that it is Twilight fan fiction. Seriously how did these books become so popular?

jdluvr06

I want to add in a recommendation. If you want steamy sex scenes and don't mind vampire books I highly recommend the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward. You'll thank me when you get to the sink scene in book 5.

chibiyui

jdluvr06 said:

I want to add in a recommendation. If you want steamy sex scenes and don't mind vampire books I highly recommend the Black Dagger Brotherhood series by JR Ward. You'll thank me when you get to the sink scene in book 5.

And now it's on my to read list.

beethery

chibiyui said:

I fucking hate this series. First. It's shit. Second. If I'm reading porn. I expect porn. Not bullshit like "he touches me down there" I want detail. I want someone who isn't afraid to say vagina. Clit. Pussy. Cunt. Nethers. Any fucking thing but "down there" Third. The books make it sound like BDSM is the only thing wrong with Christian. Fuck that. The most stable part of this motherfucker is "oh yeah there's supposed to be safewords" it also shows that the author has no imagination and never bothered to even fucking Google s&m. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. 4th. The writing is really bad. Like my 8th grade sailor moon fan fiction bad.

YUP. BDSM is not something to be ashamed of or to think that someone needs to 'recover' from. It's not a mental health issue, it's perfectly fine when practiced by consenting, well-informed adults, and not BACKWARDS DIPSHITS THAT CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO LIFE LIKE FUCKING ANA.

theycallmelinz

chibiyui said:

I fucking hate this series.

 

First. It's shit.

 

Second. If I'm reading porn. I expect porn. Not bullshit like "he touches me down there" I want detail. I want someone who isn't afraid to say vagina. Clit. Pussy. Cunt. Nethers. Any fucking thing but "down there"

 

Third. The books make it sound like BDSM is the only thing wrong with Christian. Fuck that. The most stable part of this motherfucker is "oh yeah there's supposed to be safewords" it also shows that the author has no imagination and never bothered to even fucking Google s&m. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.

 

4th. The writing is really bad. Like my 8th grade sailor moon fan fiction bad.

2nd-YES. I hate reading when writers describe it as "touched my womanhood". What the fuck does she think is down there? They'll say dick and cock all day long but then we get "womanhood?" "Nether regions?" It's like feminism never even happened.

4th-Made me laugh out loud literally, becuase it's true and I know from experience.

cupcait927

chibiyui said:

I fucking hate this series. First. It's shit. Second. If I'm reading porn. I expect porn. Not bullshit like "he touches me down there" I want detail. I want someone who isn't afraid to say vagina. Clit. Pussy. Cunt. Nethers. Any fucking thing but "down there" Third. The books make it sound like BDSM is the only thing wrong with Christian. Fuck that. The most stable part of this motherfucker is "oh yeah there's supposed to be safewords" it also shows that the author has no imagination and never bothered to even fucking Google s&m. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. 4th. The writing is really bad. Like my 8th grade sailor moon fan fiction bad.

To the bolded - that right there is why I never read more than 20 pages. The writing was just. so. bad. It was painful.

jdluvr06

I just reread the OP. Ian Somerhalder did not want to do the movie. Every time some reporter asked him about it he pretty much said not a chance.

climbingsingle

I have no interest in reading them. I was told the writing was awful by numerous people. And it seems like watered-down porn for soccer moms. 

I like porn. Real porn. If I want porn, I'll watch some free stuff online. 

theycallmelinz

jdluvr06 said:

I just reread the OP. Ian Somerhalder did not want to do the movie. Every time some reporter asked him about it he pretty much said not a chance.

SITB

Ohhh that makes sense. He's still sexy and I would have loved to watch him crack a whip haha

ohannabelle

cupcait927 said:

chibiyui said:

I fucking hate this series. First. It's shit. Second. If I'm reading porn. I expect porn. Not bullshit like "he touches me down there" I want detail. I want someone who isn't afraid to say vagina. Clit. Pussy. Cunt. Nethers. Any fucking thing but "down there" Third. The books make it sound like BDSM is the only thing wrong with Christian. Fuck that. The most stable part of this motherfucker is "oh yeah there's supposed to be safewords" it also shows that the author has no imagination and never bothered to even fucking Google s&m. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. 4th. The writing is really bad. Like my 8th grade sailor moon fan fiction bad.

To the bolded - that right there is why I never read more than 20 pages. The writing was just. so. bad. It was painful.

Brava, and Amen.

Honestly, I read only a few paragraphs that someone sent me as a joke, to say, "What do you think of this writing? Be honest." and my reply was something like, "It may not be the very worst writing in the world. Then again, it very well might be. It's definitely some of the worst I've ever read." I was stunned to find out it was not only published, but selling.

Genuinely crappy writing. 

It hurt me to read. I would rather have wisdom teeth removed than read the rest of it. Without anesthesia. Using a broken tequila bottle for surgical instruments. By an oral surgeon on acid. 

Content aside, truly terrible writing.

Maggie0829

jdluvr06 said:

I just reread the OP. Ian Somerhalder did not want to do the movie. Every time some reporter asked him about it he pretty much said not a chance.

I don't blame him for not wanting to be involved.  I am thinking that being involved in this movie series is going to be a career death sentence.

jdluvr06

Maggie0829 said:

jdluvr06 said:

I just reread the OP. Ian Somerhalder did not want to do the movie. Every time some reporter asked him about it he pretty much said not a chance.

I don't blame him for not wanting to be involved.  I am thinking that being involved in this movie series is going to be a career death sentence.

Yeah me too. I was really happy when Charlie Hunnam dropped out because I LOVE him and think he can do better than this trash.

Bubblegum5586

Wow I thought I was in the minority with not liking the books. Everyone I know IRL is obsessed. I only ready the first 2, as I had no desire to read the 3rd.

theycallmelinz

shrekspeare said: The series was really terrible. My mom enjoys the series and all of the time asks, 'Wow, I wish I could find a man who cared for me like that.'
Uh. Sure. A man who stalks, and emotionally manipulates you? That's super healthy. He's controlling and obsessive and the fact that the series is even popular really frustrates me. As stated before, as someone who is very 'into' BDSM, that was the biggest misrepresentation of BDSM I've ever seen before. Ever. Spanking does not BDSM make, Anal does not BDSM make. 
On top of that, you have all of these horny soccer moms that are reading this and fantasizing about these controlling guys. These moms (like my mom) often tell their daughters/sisters/friends, 'Read this book!' What kind of message does that send?
I'm not going to crucify you for enjoying the series, I think you're probably mature enough to realize that it's not a healthy relationship, and that BDSM is not a mental illness, as it's portrayed in the books. It's a fun past-time for people, and I'm happy that some women have found it enjoyable. I hope the movie does well (it will) and Jamie Dornan (who I LOVE) will get a solid career boost.


I'm a big "read into things" person but I also read incredibly fast, sometimes missing points, so when I read the series at first I liked it. Not loved, but didn't hate it. I liked it enough to read it again later, and now I do hate it. It's annoying, it's not an accurate depiction of a BDSM relationship, and it is terrible, terrible writing. I also want to smack people who "want to find a guy like Christian." No thank you. But I'll go see the movie because I'm genuinely interested in how this turns out, but after that I'll put it to rest because it's just not a good story. However, I am definitely buying the books @jdluvr06 recommended when I get home lol

Edited because appparently TK hates all formatting today.

Inkdancer

beethery said:

AddieCake said:

Being well-versed in real BDSM, I have little patience for bandwagon BDSM for soccer moms.

THIS. ALL DAY.

A. Freakin. Men. BDSM is a very delicate thing to do right, and these books portray all the wrong ways. Somebody is gonna get hurt.

xnotbobx

Bad Twilight fanfic? Hell no. The tumblr snarking it was kinda funny though.

On another fanfic note, I refuse to have anything to do with Cassie Clare because of all her lying and plagiarizing her crap and then getting it sold when she changed the names.

pinkcow13

I read all 3. I read them a couple of summers ago, mindless summer beach reading. I actually enjoyed the first book, but the next 2 were brutal to get through. And Ana got on my damn nerves. First of all, he touches her and the girl orgasms all over the place. And I hated how she always said "oh my." And the shit with her Inner Goddess?? WTF was THAT about. 

Despite all that though, I read the books with a grain of salt, so overall I guess I enjoyed them for what they were. I will admit though, that the writing was horrendous. And I was also annoyed with the vernacular. I too want to watch the movie, more out of curiosity than anything. I'm curious as to how they will adapt it into the big screen.

hellosweetie1015

I read them. Not gonna lie. Don't think I'd say I *enjoyed* them... but I have them on my Nook waiting for me to be THAT bored again.

The vernacular (GREAT WORD, @beethery!) is absolutely GRATING. It's, like, nails-on-a-chalkboard awful. That is not how ANYONE really speaks. Ever, anywhere. Seriously. I had a very hard time focusing on the story at all because the words she chose to use and the order in which she chose to use them was so.damn.distracting.

There are lines that E.L. James LITERALLY pulled straight from Twilight and STUCK IN HER BOOKS. I can take you to the source PAGE in the Twilight books. I am absolutely floored that Stephenie Meyer's agent, editor, Little Brown, SOMEBODY, hasn't taken E.L. James to court yet (that I've heard of). 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE people, do your damn research! Is the EDITOR of a college paper likely to beg her ROOMMATE to go do an interview for her because she's a sicky wicky baby? NO! That makes NO SENSE. She'll get her shit together, or she'll call one of her underlings at the college paper to do it. NOT SOME RANDO! Is a college paper actually likely to get an exclusive interview with Mr. FancyMcDreamyPants OvernightBillionaire Crazysauce in the FIRST PLACE? NO! ...well, maybe, but NOT LIKELY! IS IT LIKELY THAT SPOILERS FOR THE LAST BIT OF THE LAST BOOK IN WHITE SOME BANK IS JUST GOING TO LET A PERSON COMPLETELY CLEAN OUT ALL THE MONEY IN THEIR BANK COME ON NOW THIS IS NOT A LOGICAL FINANCIAL TRANSATIONgetyourshittogetther!!!! FOR REAL Y'ALL! And COME ON if you're going to write a damn erotica book, go READ ONE FIRST!! OMG. Don't market it as erotica of ANY KIND if it's nOt ErOtIcA! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH MORE THAN A MENTAL PICTURES OF ZIP TIES OMG

AND! PLEASE: If you're going to have a character make a change in his/her actions, MAKE IT MAKE SENSE WITHIN THE CHARACTER'S EMOTIONAL GROWTH! IF THEY HAVEN'T GROWN ENOUGH EMOTIONALLY TO MAKE SOME SORT OF SENSE OUT OF A CHANGE IN THEIR ACTIONS, THEN IT IS NOT TIME FOR THEM TO MAKE THE CHANGE IN THEIR ACTIONS YET PLEASE FOR THE LOVE someone who has NOT BEEN A COMMITTED PERSON EVER IN THEIR LIFE is going to take WAY HELLA LONGER THAN THAT to move to a HUGE COMMITTMENT. For real, this dude started out having a CONTRACT that spelled out EXACTLY what he expected, what he didnt, what to expect, and what not to expect, he is CLEARLY NOT IN A PLACE FOR A RELATIONSHIP AND IT MAKES NO SENSE FOR THAT TO BECOME ONE ZOMFG

Y'all. For real. I have issues with these books. 

beethery

One of the bigger things I had a problem with is that Ana didn't have a cell phone or know how to use a computer. She was a college graduate with a lit degree, right? 

southernbelle0915

Never read the books.

All I can think about is the episode of The Office where Phyllis is listening to 50 shades of grey via audio book while she's at work and it causes a stir... 

chibiyui

beethery said:

One of the bigger things I had a problem with is that Ana didn't have a cell phone or know how to use a computer. She was a college graduate with a lit degree, right? 

Hell, on that note, what English lit grad is going to talk like a fucking idiot? Seriously, Ana has the vocabulary of a 6th grader.