I posted a couple of weeks ago about FI's job stressing him out. Well now it's getting to me. Don't worry, I would never let him know how I feel, because right now this is his issue, and he doesn't need to worry about how I feel at the moment. He texted me earlier telling me that apparently things were horrible and he will probably be fired. He works in IT, for a (in my opinion from what he's told me) jackass company, and this isn't the first time he's felt this. Job security my ass.
FI has a great job, makes way more money than I do (as an aside it annoys me because he started out making less. Argh! lol) , and he has excellent skills - fancy IT, manager, etc, so I think he won't have a hard time scoring another job.
Still. Who knows. He has applied to a few positions, and a contact that moved on from his current job referred him to an investment bank he works for . He also worked with the manager there who specifically wanted him. So that is promising but not a guarantee. Yet, FI texted me earlier to tell me he had a bad talk with his manager and thinks he's getting fired. Which, I doubt. His job needs him, people are dropping like flies. But, still, his job is not like mine (in terms of job security).
In the meantime, I am there for him, listening, walking to work together, taking a lunch break if he needs it. Making my world famous margaritas. But I refuse to express my stress to him.
Ladies, I am stressed. I looked into cancelling our wedding JIC, and I think we lose our deposit, plus the first payment. Chances are it won't come to that, but I work in insurance. I'm a realist. Also, I'm the girl that always dreamed of her big wedding day. This is the least of my worries, and I would NEVER bring this up to FI, but it has crossed my mind that there is a possibility that things may change.
At the end of the day though, I want him to be happy. So I can get over not having my "big" day. All I care about is that I marry him, but yea it's a bit stressful. And I will admit, the thought of a PPD briefly crossed my mind. Here's the thing. My 2 year old self would totally have had one.
But now? I do still want the big wedding I always dreamed of, but if I can't have it? I'm totally fine. I really just wanna be married to FI. That's all I want. No matter how. I love our wedding, but if we end up eloping I realize, I don't care! What I care about is how he feels right now and I HATE that he is feeling this way about a stupid job. At the end of the day, that is all it is.
ETA: He just got home so I'm gonna try and cheer him up. This was just more of a vent.
I HAD PARAGRAPHS