His second wedding

[Deleted User]

Hey Ladies!!

Sometimes I feel like he is comparing our wedding to his first. I wanted a big wedding but he doesn't because his first wedding was a big one and it didn't last.  How am I supposed to have the wedding I want without reminding him of his first??

Jells2dot0

Marriage is about compromise. You need to have a serious talk about your wedding and future. This isn't just about what you want- it's about what he wants too. He may have some unfounded, irrational fears or they may be legitimate and you need to be understanding of that. You may very well both have to compromise and meet in the middle somewhere with a smallish more private ceremony. But, you'll never know or be able to work it out unless you talk it out on a serious level.

As for the weddings being alike, well they certainly won't be. For one, it's a different person he is marrying at a different time in his life. Plus, I'm sure not everything is the same with guests, venue, flowers, colors etc.

photokitty

You should talk to him. My guess is that isn't not so much that is reminds him of his first wedding, but that he doesn't want to spend a bunch of money again.  That is a common feeling for folks the second around.

Having a big wedding is expensive and then having it end in divorce is a reason some people opt not to have a big blow out the second time. Not bc they think it will fail or they aren't as excited, but they realize the expensive party it's the most important part to them.

 You two should talk it out and decide what works best for you. If it is about money - setting budget and sticking to it will probably ease a lot of his concerns.

GL!