Would this be weird?

KatieinBkln

I have already asked my sister to be my maid of honor. I'm a little bit stuck about other bridesmaids, though. I have a lot of friends whom I love dearly--too many to ask ALL of them, in my opinion. I'm just not into giant wedding parties, personally. But I also don't want to choose certain friends at the expense of others--and I really do feel equally close to all of them (the whole "who would you call to move a body" thing doesn't work: I'd call FI or my sister). 

I am leaning toward only having a maid of honor, which would be just fine, but the thing is, I really like the vibe of hanging out with a group of people, getting ready together, etc. Would it be weird to only have my sister as the MOH, but then ask a few friends if they want to hang out in the "gettin' ready" room beforehand? Or is that just wanting to have my cake and eat it too because I'm too chicken to pick and choose bridesmaids among my friends?

Ugh, weddings are hard, man.

theartistformerlyknownas

Do your friends like the "getting ready" together part as much as you do? I kind of hate it... I just feel really frazzled when people are watching me and potentially waiting to use my mirror. If that's something your group normally likes to do before you go out, it might not be weird.

grumbledore

lolo883 said:

Do your friends like the "getting ready" together part as much as you do? I kind of hate it... I just feel really frazzled when people are watching me and potentially waiting to use my mirror. If that's something your group normally likes to do before you go out, it might not be weird.

I agree.  I hated "getting ready" with 20 other people for my friend's wedding.  It was a pain in the ass.

KatieinBkln

lolo883 said:

Do your friends like the "getting ready" together part as much as you do? I kind of hate it... I just feel really frazzled when people are watching me and potentially waiting to use my mirror. If that's something your group normally likes to do before you go out, it might not be weird.

Ha, that's a good point. For my group "getting ready" usually involves music blasting and drinks in hand, aka funtimes. 

mysticl

KatieinBkln said:

I have already asked my sister to be my maid of honor. I'm a little bit stuck about other bridesmaids, though. I have a lot of friends whom I love dearly--too many to ask ALL of them, in my opinion. I'm just not into giant wedding parties, personally. But I also don't want to choose certain friends at the expense of others--and I really do feel equally close to all of them (the whole "who would you call to move a body" thing doesn't work: I'd call FI or my sister). 

I am leaning toward only having a maid of honor, which would be just fine, but the thing is, I really like the vibe of hanging out with a group of people, getting ready together, etc. Would it be weird to only have my sister as the MOH, but then ask a few friends if they want to hang out in the "gettin' ready" room beforehand? Or is that just wanting to have my cake and eat it too because I'm too chicken to pick and choose bridesmaids among my friends?

Ugh, weddings are hard, man.

I see nothing wrong with it. As long as they are clear it's a fun event and they aren't expected to get you ready (though good friends will probably offer anyhow).  Have some refreshments and give yourselves enough time that you aren't madly rushing around to get ready and don't have time to interact.  

I think it works best if you only have a MOH.  If you had some bridesmaids it could draw attention to the fact that some weren't picked.  

sarahufl

I have a group of about 8 girl friends who are very close and I would absolutely ask them to hide a body. I am only having 3 BMs. We are all in our 30s and have been in countless weddings and I think we are all ready to just be GUESTS at a wedding.

I will invite them to come get ready and drink mimosas, but that is me.

If you want them there, just ask. They will come if they want to come!

beethery

KatieinBkln said:

I have already asked my sister to be my maid of honor. I'm a little bit stuck about other bridesmaids, though. I have a lot of friends whom I love dearly--too many to ask ALL of them, in my opinion. I'm just not into giant wedding parties, personally. But I also don't want to choose certain friends at the expense of others--and I really do feel equally close to all of them (the whole "who would you call to move a body" thing doesn't work: I'd call FI or my sister). 

I am leaning toward only having a maid of honor, which would be just fine, but the thing is, I really like the vibe of hanging out with a group of people, getting ready together, etc. Would it be weird to only have my sister as the MOH, but then ask a few friends if they want to hang out in the "gettin' ready" room beforehand? Or is that just wanting to have my cake and eat it too because I'm too chicken to pick and choose bridesmaids among my friends?

Ugh, weddings are hard, man.

Personally, I like getting ready in my own space. Sharing a mirror and trying to stay out of the way/keep elbows out of people's faces while doing makeup can get annoying.

climbingsingle

I'm only having a MOH. This is my second wedding and I really didn't want a bridal party again. Anyway, I have an awesome suite the day of that I'm getting ready in. We'll have mimosas and snacks. I invited 3 of my girlfriends. No pressure; just "Hey, I have the bridal suite at XXX. I'll have drinks and food. You're welcome to come if you want!" 

KatieinBkln

Just to clear up, my venue has a pretty large room allocated for getting ready. I would provide plenty of mirrors/booze/snacks for everyone. I would definitely only do this if my "wedding party" only consists of my MOH (@mysticl is of course correct that it would be a gross tiering situation if I had bridesmaids and "2nd placers"). 

Would it be more fun if I just called it a "pre-ceremony drinks and chill time so I don't get too nervous while I'm getting prepped"? I guess I don't particularly care whether my friends get ready with me or are already made up and ready to go. I just want some people in the room, I guess.

princessleia22

I would go ahead and have just the MOH. 

As far as getting ready, I also would rather get ready on my own at home, especially if just a guest and not a bridesmaid.  I wouldn't mind helping you get ready or joining for some drinks and fun if asked.  But, I also wouldn't want to feel like I'm in your way though.  It depends on the dynamics of your group of friends, which only you know.  If you want the other girls there to help you get ready, I wouldn't necessarily state it as an invite to help, because they may feel obligated.  But, you don't want it to sound like a pity invite either or that they will be an inconvenience.  I would state it as, "Prior to the wedding, you are definitely welcome to join me for a drinks while I get ready. You are welcome to bring your stuff and get ready with us or come already dressed and just join us for a celebratory pre-wedding drink while I get all pretty."

theartistformerlyknownas

KatieinBkln said:

Just to clear up, my venue has a pretty large room allocated for getting ready. I would provide plenty of mirrors/booze/snacks for everyone. I would definitely only do this if my "wedding party" only consists of my MOH (@mysticl is of course correct that it would be a gross tiering situation if I had bridesmaids and "2nd placers"). 

Would it be more fun if I just called it a "pre-ceremony drinks and chill time so I don't get too nervous while I'm getting prepped"? I guess I don't particularly care whether my friends get ready with me or are already made up and ready to go. I just want some people in the room, I guess.

Yeah, I think if this is something they like to do anyway, you've got the space, and you don't make it sound like they're at all obligated to come, it could be fun. 

beethery

KatieinBkln said:

Just to clear up, my venue has a pretty large room allocated for getting ready. I would provide plenty of mirrors/booze/snacks for everyone. I would definitely only do this if my "wedding party" only consists of my MOH (@mysticl is of course correct that it would be a gross tiering situation if I had bridesmaids and "2nd placers"). 

Would it be more fun if I just called it a "pre-ceremony drinks and chill time so I don't get too nervous while I'm getting prepped"? I guess I don't particularly care whether my friends get ready with me or are already made up and ready to go. I just want some people in the room, I guess.

This is good and I like it.

KatieinBkln

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts! My wedding is a little more than a year away but I can already taste the mimosas...