Two-Part Reception

meganbrown91

I am trying to map out a plan for a casual, inexpensive, but big wedding. I came up with the idea of feeding people in the church hall, and then having an "after-party" with drinks and dancing at my parent's house which is just down the road from the church. Just for clarification everybody would be invited to the wedding and both receptions. 

Has anybody heard of someone doing this before, and have any suggestions? 

cookdt5312014

what time are you hosting the reception and after party? I think you should offer more then just drinks. It should be able to work if in the evening,if its during the day that would be a little harder to do.

ohannabelle

This was actually exactly how wedding almost always were done, pre 80s. Back when almost everyone had morning or afternoon weddings. Wedding, reception, after party at a parent's. 

Sounds fine to me. Just make sure that nobody goes hungry, and you're good.

tammym1001

You said "big wedding". If all of the people come to your parent's house, will they fit? We had a reception and then an after party at a private villa. It was awesome and everyone had a really great time.

meganbrown91

We were planning on doing a big BBQ dinner at the church, and then do drinks AND snacks at the house. I wasn't thinking that drinking without eating was the best idea.  I don't have any timeframe set out yet, but we were thinking later afternoon ceremony so dinner would be around 6:30... Any suggestions would also be appreciated for timing, like should we have a gap in between if people want to change or have everything right after another? 

southernbelle0915

tammym1001 said:

You said "big wedding". If all of the people come to your parent's house, will they fit? We had a reception and then an after party at a private villa. It was awesome and everyone had a really great time.

This.

If you do this, you need to be able to comfortably accommodate everyone (good rule is a seat for every butt). 

manateehugger

Ditto on the spacing issue (also, if people are drinking, think of the bathroom situation - one toilet for tons of people breaking the seal isn't going to cut it). 

Avoid the gap, those are generally considered a faux pas. If people want to change, they'll just show up late to the cocktail party. No biggie. 

meganbrown91

We have had parties of this size there before with no problem (250 invitees, which is about what the guest list it). We just don't have room for them to have a sit down dinner anywhere, which is why we are doing that at the church. 

There are two toilets with direct access to the party area (a guest bath and a not as nice "pool bathroom," and there are additional toilets upstairs with the bedrooms if something were to happen to one of the during the party. 

atlastmrsg

I wouldn't want to burden my parents with this.  All those people are going to leave cups around, make a mess.  They need to be served properly.  So you'll need to hire bartenders, maybe servers to pass snacks/appetizers, someone to cater snacks, someone to clean it all up.  Then you have people tracking dirt into house, spilling drinks, whatever.  And not many restrooms, and people having to traipse around to find them.  I hope your parents have a big estate to get a tent, restroom trailer, and place for staff to stage the event.  For 250 people, that would be way more appropriate.  30 people afterwards, no big deal.  250?  That's a lot of people to host and mess to deal with.  Not to mention neighbors who may or may not like the noise and traffic, and for that matter, unless it's a big farm, 250 people could be as many as 125 cars.  That would never fit on my parents' residential street.  If they have to walk far, you should arrange valet for them.  My head hurts for this planning.  And last, if you do this, buy your parents an insurance policy in case anyone gets over served or falls on their property.  Otherwise, that potential claim goes on your parents' homeowners' or umbrella policy (if they even have an umbrella).

PrettyGirlLost

meganbrown91 said:

I am trying to map out a plan for a casual, inexpensive, but big wedding. I came up with the idea of feeding people in the church hall, and then having an "after-party" with drinks and dancing at my parent's house which is just down the road from the church. Just for clarification everybody would be invited to the wedding and both receptions. 

Has anybody heard of someone doing this before, and have any suggestions? 

How big is this house? 250 people is a lot crammed into a typical house.

daria24

My cousin did this for her wedding. There was a tradition afternoon reception, then everyone was invited to my aunt & uncle's house for the after party. They rented a tent though, and folding tables and chairs so everyone would have space to sit and eat. There was lots of food though-my family had cooked for weeks leading up to, froze everything, then set up crock pots. It was fun, about half of the guest list came. 

It was also an insane amount of work. My uncle said "never again." And there were only about 50 people there.

atlastmrsg

daria24 said:

My cousin did this for her wedding. There was a tradition afternoon reception, then everyone was invited to my aunt & uncle's house for the after party. They rented a tent though, and folding tables and chairs so everyone would have space to sit and eat. There was lots of food though-my family had cooked for weeks leading up to, froze everything, then set up crock pots. It was fun, about half of the guest list came. 

It was also an insane amount of work. My uncle said "never again." And there were only about 50 people there.

Cue potluck issue in 3...2...1...go!

Viczaesar

atlastmrsg said:

daria24 said:

My cousin did this for her wedding. There was a tradition afternoon reception, then everyone was invited to my aunt & uncle's house for the after party. They rented a tent though, and folding tables and chairs so everyone would have space to sit and eat. There was lots of food though-my family had cooked for weeks leading up to, froze everything, then set up crock pots. It was fun, about half of the guest list came. 

It was also an insane amount of work. My uncle said "never again." And there were only about 50 people there.

Cue potluck issue in 3...2...1...go!

That's not a potluck.

theartistformerlyknownas

Sounds like your parents are on board and accustomed to hosting things like this, so go for it. Don't have a gap in between - it would inconvenience the people who don't want to change first. My only concern is the after party needs to be ready to go as soon as the first person gets there - is there anyone who can be there in case anyone shows up early? I'm guessing your parents won't want to leave the reception early to man the house.

Make sure you're adequately hosting everyone at the dinner, in case they choose not to come to the after party. Don't have anyone who's not hosting contribute anything to the party. You should also have a chair for every butt, even if there's no seated dinner. People should be able to sit.

Assuming all this is met, etiquette-wise, I think you're in the clear. 

RebeccaB88

Do they have a big backyard, or a farm or acreage?  If they do, rent event tents, tables and chairs, and toilet trailers and have the entire reception there - dinner and dancing. Cut out the church all altogether, unless it's as a weather induced alternative location.