Flower Girl...Age Appropriate???

Jimmerjag84

Help! My fiance and I have asked his "nieces" to be our flower girls. The youngest (who will need the older one to keep her calm) will be 5 or 6 at the time of the wedding. The older of the sisters will be 11, though. His mom prefers not to call them flower girls because they are older than the 3/4 year olds she's seen at other weddings, but I already have my Godchild walking as my junior bridesmaid. Please help! Will a 6 and 11 year old be appropriate to walk down the isle together as flower girls, especially since they are sisters? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

mysticl

I think 6 is fine for a flower girl, one of mine was 7.  

At 11 I was a junior bridesmaid (you can have more than one) and I think a lot of 11-year-olds would feel they are too grown up to be a flower girl.  Even as a bridesmaid the older one can walk with her sister to keep her on track if it's needed.  

luckysnorkel

I was a flowergirl when I was 10 or 11, and I loved it.  It might depend on the child though.

southernbelle0915

I think 5 and 6 is the perfect age. I see no problem with an 11 year old doing this as long as she doesn't think it's a "baby job". Ask her first. If she thinks it's for younger kids, she doesn't need to do it. 

When I was 12, I was an usher at my cousin's wedding. I loved it and felt really important.

OliveOilsMom

How old is your godchild?  If she is 12 and you ask the 11 year old to be a FG, she might not like that.

happywiggle

I'd say 11 is a bit too old for a flower girl, IMO. At that age, I was a junior bridesmaid in my aunts wedding. Maybe ask her if she thinks it's for younger kids and go from there?

Jen4948

6 is fine for a flower girl. As for the 11-year-old, I'd ask her about her preference.

Jimmerjag84

My Godchild is 15... I was thinking of having the older one wear the color of the bridesmaids or jr. bridesmaid and her younger sister could wear the white. I really dont know.. Thanks for all the feedback!! I may just talk with both my fiance and the older sis to see what their opinion is. Thanks everyone!

JCbride2015

Personally, I feel like junior bridesmaid is a bit of a backhanded honor.  I have always felt left out and made to feel like a little girl anytime I was a "junior" bridesmaid (twice for family weddings, roughly around the age of 10 or 12-- I'd feel extremely slighted if I was 16).

My 15-yo cousin will be walking in my wedding and sure, she isn't coming to the adult parts of the bach party, but she is a bridesmaid.

Back to the original question.  6 is definitely fine for a flower girl.  The 11-yo would probably depend on the kid.  Do you think she would enjoy it or would she feel like it's just a little girl job?  Maybe you could give her a bouquet to carry and her sister could throw the flower petals.

lizzypoo96

JCbride2015 said:

Personally, I feel like junior bridesmaid is a bit of a backhanded honor.  I have always felt left out and made to feel like a little girl anytime I was a "junior" bridesmaid (twice for family weddings, roughly around the age of 10 or 12-- I'd feel extremely slighted if I was 16).

My 15-yo cousin will be walking in my wedding and sure, she isn't coming to the adult parts of the bach party, but she is a bridesmaid.

Back to the original question.  6 is definitely fine for a flower girl.  The 11-yo would probably depend on the kid.  Do you think she would enjoy it or would she feel like it's just a little girl job?  Maybe you could give her a bouquet to carry and her sister could throw the flower petals.

that's an idea? it might be worth asking her- at 11 she's either in middle school or close to it- that's kind of old for a FG, but I could see where she might like it depending on her personality.

l9i

I think it's a little old.  I'm thinking of me at that age and I would feel like I was getting a "baby job".  I like the idea of having her maybe dressed closer to the maids but walk with her sister. 

Side note - I never understood the point of junior bridesmaids.  IMO just call them a bridesmaid and exclude them from parts of the bach party if needed.

[Deleted User]

I, too, don't understand the title of Jr Bridesmaid.  She has all the same duties (proper dress, being sober) as a "regular" bridesmaid, why not just call her a bridesmaid?  It's not time to decide yet, but I'm thinking about asking my 9 year old niece to be my Maid of Honor, so there's that.

bmydesigner

My FG will be 8 at the time of the wedding, so I think you're good with 6. As far as the 11yo, I think it depends on what she would rather do. At 12, I would have preferred being a FG in my aunt's wedding instead of a greeter. But everyone around that age is different, so it's definitely important to talk to her about it!

JCbride2015

bmydesigner said:

My FG will be 8 at the time of the wedding, so I think you're good with 6. As far as the 11yo, I think it depends on what she would rather do. At 12, I would have preferred being a FG in my aunt's wedding instead of a greeter. But everyone around that age is different, so it's definitely important to talk to her about it!

What the heck is a greeter?

manateehugger

JCbride2015 said:

bmydesigner said:

My FG will be 8 at the time of the wedding, so I think you're good with 6. As far as the 11yo, I think it depends on what she would rather do. At 12, I would have preferred being a FG in my aunt's wedding instead of a greeter. But everyone around that age is different, so it's definitely important to talk to her about it!

What the heck is a greeter?

Someone who stands at the doors to the ceremony to smile and say hi and usually passes out programs. In other words, a crap job that's entirely unnecessary. 

OP, just ask the girl what she'd like to do. 

scrunchythief

Another vote for asking the preference.  I was my aunt's flower girl when I was 14 and I was thrilled about it.  I'd do it again now at 24 and married.  But I'd wanted to be her flower girl pretty much my whole life, I wasn't going to let how old I was when she got married stop me:)

bmydesigner

PDKH said:

JCbride2015 said:

bmydesigner said:

My FG will be 8 at the time of the wedding, so I think you're good with 6. As far as the 11yo, I think it depends on what she would rather do. At 12, I would have preferred being a FG in my aunt's wedding instead of a greeter. But everyone around that age is different, so it's definitely important to talk to her about it!

What the heck is a greeter?

Someone who stands at the doors to the ceremony to smile and say hi and usually passes out programs. In other words, a crap job that's entirely unnecessary. 

OP, just ask the girl what she'd like to do. 

Yeah @PKDH covered it. My cousin and I stood in front of the church and handed people their programs as they walked in. It was a very crappy job and I remember being hurt but not really understanding why.

hellosweetie1015

PDKH said:

JCbride2015 said:

bmydesigner said:

My FG will be 8 at the time of the wedding, so I think you're good with 6. As far as the 11yo, I think it depends on what she would rather do. At 12, I would have preferred being a FG in my aunt's wedding instead of a greeter. But everyone around that age is different, so it's definitely important to talk to her about it!

What the heck is a greeter?

Someone who stands at the doors to the ceremony to smile and say hi and usually passes out programs. In other words, a crap job that's entirely unnecessary. 

OP, just ask the girl what she'd like to do. 

I have been a greeter in four weddings. I have been to five. I was about 10 the first time I was a greeter. It worked well, because I didn't have to actually talk to people. I just gave them a thingy. I would have been better off not doing anything, but there you go.

I was 23 when I did it for the last time. I was definitely superfluous, and I rather felt it.

JCbride2015

Ah.  So the greeter shall henceforth be known as "basket."  Gotcha.

Why do people insist on giving these shit jobs?

afaber24

I wanted my 10 year old cousin in my wedding so I asked her "Do you want to be a flower girl and wear a white dress or be a jr bridesmaid and wear a purple dress?" She chose purple dress.

She and her brother (the jr groomsman) still walked down the aisle with the ring bearer though. He's only 3 so he needed a little guidance.

ohannabelle

I think way too much time is spent worrying about "bridesmaid" vs "junior bridesmaid," which is a silly made-up term anyway. A bridesmaid is a bridesmaid is a bridesmaid. It's irrelevant which one matches which, as long as they're pleasantly coordinated, age-appropriate and happy with what they're wearing.

mysticl

adk19 said:

I, too, don't understand the title of Jr Bridesmaid.  She has all the same duties (proper dress, being sober) as a "regular" bridesmaid, why not just call her a bridesmaid?  It's not time to decide yet, but I'm thinking about asking my 9 year old niece to be my Maid of Honor, so there's that.

I was a junior bridesmaid.  It didn't bother me.  I just figured it was because I wasn't an adult like the other ones were.  

With that being said I just called my 13-year-old nieces bridesmaids.  I think the "junior" designation just indicates that they would not be asked to play or contribute financially to showers or bachelorette parties by the other bridesmaids and their dresses may have to come from a different department depending on their age/size.  

I was at a wedding where the MOH was the bride's 10-year-old sister.