My FSMIL wants me to go dress shopping with her, which we are both very excited about. She has been married to my FFIL for 20+ years and even though my FI was not close with her or his father most of his childhood, since the time I have known him they have been getting closer. My FMIL is extremely upset that my FSMIL is "getting a special mother of the groom dress." She simply wants to look nice and I feel she deserves to just like my mother and FMIL. FMIL is making a huge deal about it and is barely speaking to us lately. FI is very close with her and we both do not want to make this an issue. This should NOT be an issue.
FMIL's husband passed away a few years ago and she has not remarried since. If he were alive, he would be wearing a tux along with my dad and FFIL. So this just doesn't make sense to me. FMIL feels like the spotlight is being taken off of her and put on FSMIL which is not the case, there is no special ceremony for either of them, depsite what FMIL may think. Yesterday FMIL told FI that if step-mom was wearing a long dress at the wedding, she will leave. I don't believe she would leave but why would she even say it?! It is a November wedding in PA. I guarentee many women will have long dresses on. My grandmother wears long dresses to every wedding, even in the summer.
I know I should just shrug this off and not let it bother me or my FI but it is. We don't want to cause problems with FMIL but FSMIL deserves to be able to wear what she wants without issues.