Too many speeches?

climbingsingle

My MOH and FI's best man want to give speeches during the reception. FMIL mentioned to me last night that she'd also like to give a speech. I don't want my parents to feel left out, so I thought I'd ask my mom or dad if either of them would like to give a speech too. However, 4 seems like a lot! 

If it makes any difference, we're doing a first dance and then I'm dancing with my dad while FI dances with his mom. No separate dances. Also no bouquet/garter toss and no cake cutting. 

vk2204

It might be a lot for guests to sit through. Do you know how long the toasts will be from each person - like are they just doing a "thank you for coming, raise your glass to the new couple" or are they pretty lengthy?

If I were you, I would also ask my parents and if they wanted to give one I would have four toasts and leave it at that. I would rather have an extra person talking instead of my parents feeling left out.

climbingsingle

Yeah, I definitely don't want my parents to feel left out. Both my parents and FI's mom have contributed to the wedding. 

I don't know how long each speech will be. Knowing my MOH and the BM, they'll probably be short. FMIL might be a little long. My dad or mom would be short as well. 

ElcaB

As long as they keep it short, I don't see the problem. 

Peaseblossom55

I don't think 4 toasts are bad if they are kept short especially the parent ones.  We only had two, best man and MOH, we only asked two people and luckily no one asked us if they could make a speech.

emmaaa

If they are relatively short, I don't see a problem. You could also try to spread them out. Like one or two after the dances and the other during towards the end of the meal?

climbingsingle

Spreading them out is a good idea! 

MairePoppy

Are you talking about toasts or speeches? Four speeches=boring for your guests. Four short, well wishing toasts much add to a festive atmosphere. To create confusion, I'll disagree with emaaaa. Repeatedly stopping your guests conversations, dancing, eating, visiting etc...can kill the momentum of a good party. You should do the toasts all at once and be done with it so your guests can get back to celebrating.

Sugargirl1019

I agree with Emma about doing two after the dances, and the other two later on. I would prefer to not sit through 4 people talking - I would start wondering how many people will actually be talking and get antsy.

climbingsingle

MairePoppy said:

Are you talking about toasts or speeches? Four speeches=boring for your guests. Four short, well wishing toasts much add to a festive atmosphere. To create confusion, I'll disagree with emaaaa. Repeatedly stopping your guests conversations, dancing, eating, visiting etc...can kill the momentum of a good party. You should do the toasts all at once and be done with it so your guests can get back to celebrating.

I guess I mean toasts and not speeches. FMIL keeps calling it a speech, which threw me off. I certainly hope she's not planning something detailed and long. Oh lawd. 

emmaaa

MairePoppy said:

Are you talking about toasts or speeches? Four speeches=boring for your guests. Four short, well wishing toasts much add to a festive atmosphere. To create confusion, I'll disagree with emaaaa. Repeatedly stopping your guests conversations, dancing, eating, visiting etc...can kill the momentum of a good party. You should do the toasts all at once and be done with it so your guests can get back to celebrating.

This is a good point too. I guess I was thinking at already stopping points. Like right after spotlight dances or before people eat, and then towards the end of themeal while people are already sitting.

However, if that seems disruptive, I would go ahead and do them all at once and get them over with. MairePoppy raises a good question of whether they are toasts or speeches.

MairePoppy

Sugargirl1019 said:

I agree with Emma about doing two after the dances, and the other two later on. I would prefer to not sit through 4 people talking - I would start wondering how many people will actually be talking and get antsy.

I attended a wedding where there were more than ten speeches. I mean speeches, long ones. It was like a roast. Most of the speeches were well written, but full of private jokes and references that only the b & g's most intimate friends would understand. The speeches took place between cocktail hour and dinner. It was excruciating so I know what you mean. But if the toasts are quick and upbeat, I hope the guests will not have time to wonder when it will end.

ETA Dinner was served cold because the banquet manager had no way of knowing that it would be delayed for such a long time. 

Sugargirl1019

MairePoppy said:

Sugargirl1019 said:

I agree with Emma about doing two after the dances, and the other two later on. I would prefer to not sit through 4 people talking - I would start wondering how many people will actually be talking and get antsy.

I attended a wedding where there were more than ten speeches. I mean speeches, long ones. It was like a roast. Most of the speeches were well written, but full of private jokes and references that only the b & g's most intimate friends would understand. The speeches took place between cocktail hour and dinner. It was excruciating so I know what you mean. But if the toasts are quick and upbeat, I hope the guests will not have time to wonder when it will end.

Ugh that's sounds awwfuuulllll. I was at a wedding about a month and half ago where all 12 bridesmaids said a speech and all 12 groomsmen said a speech. They were more like a minute each, but still. They all lined up, and you just watched how many you had to go through. It was atrocious!

climbingsingle

My brother's ex-fiance made all of us in the bridal party give toasts at their engagement party. It was terrible and went on forever. 

MairePoppy

I don't know why anyone would think their guests, who are hungry and maybe a buzzed from cocktail hour want to sit through that.