Help please!

Tuffgurl321

Hi my name is Amanda. I have a 1 1/2 yr old with my fiance and one on the way. Our wedding isnt until June 2011, but i was wondering if it would benefit us to get married legally before the second baby comes. We had to go through so much paperwork with our daughter because of child support and getting his name on the birth certificate. Would it help us to get legally married now and just do the wedding later? Please help. Ps i live in wisconsin by the way

Arther007

Sadly I have no clue on what you should do. Is this a moral question or a money question? Morally I say get married. Finacailly I don't have any ideas.

LaLiLu

I don't know the specifics of your situation but it might benifit you to get married before the baby comes so that your husband's health insurance will cover everything. There's always paperwork when a baby is born anyway.

dougandkatie

thats true - there would be paperwork...and his insurance would cover it if he has coverage..  but there are a few other things to consider that you may not have considered yet.

If you are going to be having a religious ceremony you may want to go and speak to your pastor/priest prior to going to the courthouse.  My friends had to get legally married before their actual wedding date and their priest was fine with it - others i'm sure wouldn't be.  

Do you care about image?  I'm not saying, by any means, that getting legally married is a bad thing - but on either side of your families is there a large group of people that will really shun this idea?  (that's what happened with my friends.  his parents still don't' know and also still don't know that she put a kid up for adoption!!)  you may want to consider that too.  if either of you have a really strict family you might catch more hell than you're willing to deal with.

If you are doing it just for insurance - you could take advantage of Badger Care for new mothers - right?  I mean, that's free, and it's pretty good.  and I don't believe they ask if you're involved with anyone.  

Regardless, I really hope that you make the right decision for all three of you!!

Congratulations on the babies too - that's the next thing on my list.  lol.

jberg134

If you are married before the child is born then the man you are married to is legally the father, regardless of if he is or not.  So, if you want to avoid the paternity issues, that would be the way to do it.  I also suggest discussing this with your families.  Good luck!

hbbmama

My husband and I got married at the local courthouse and are now, a year later having a wedding with more family and friends. I have had a great experience with it and totally understand how much easier it can make things legally.
My husband is in the military and we were moving, so getting legally married before we moved made everything; paperwork, access to base and a lot of other things a lot easier for us.  (Turns out it is not unusual for military couples to do what we are doing.) I will say though that I go more for what is practical so would say go for it, though take into account the issues brought up in previous comments.
Another thing to take into account is that when married the taxes rates are different from when you are single. Usually in your favor.
I have always seen getting married as a commitment to spend your lives together, while the wedding is special because it is the day you do this, it is still just one day while your lives together are you living that commitment.
If you do have religious considerations see if you can't have a small/private religious ceremony now, and then do a larger recommitment ceremony later.
Best of luck to you, and congratulations on the new baby!