Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Can the Bride do a reading during the ceremony?

I found a funny reading for our ceremony but I want to be the one to say it. Is it totally inappropriate for the bride to give a reading?

Re: Can the Bride do a reading during the ceremony?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    I don't believe it would be inappropriate but I would find it weird.  Typically readings are done for the couple not by the couple.  Also, I am not one that likes funny readings during wedding ceremonies.  I don't mind when some humor occurs, typically because of nerves or something random happening without any planning.  But thought out and purposeful "funny" things usually fall flat.

    japrincess24
  • I think a wedding ceremony should be serious.  Save funny for your reception.  It would be AW for a bride to do her own readings at the ceremony IMHO.
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  • steele525 said:
    I found a funny reading for our ceremony but I want to be the one to say it. Is it totally inappropriate for the bride to give a reading?

    I think it would seem odd and AWish as well.  I also agree that funny shouldn't be planned into a wedding ceremony
    Marzipan13PrettyGirlLost
  • Planned funny usually equals awkward. The only times I've genuinely laughed during a ceremony was at an officiant's lighthearted comment or at a giggly-nervous thing that happens.

    I'd think it was super weird for the bride to do a reading. You're not there to read to everyone; you're there to make a lifelong commitment to your future spouse. 
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    Marzipan13southernbelle0915PrettyGirlLostjaprincess24
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
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    Reception would be the place for this, if you really want to do it.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    I'm not a fan.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • There's nothing wrong with it, but I think it will throw guests for enough of a loop that they won't really be focused on your reading anyway - more the fact that you're doing one at all.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    I wouldn't.  Given that the bride is one of the principals at the ceremony, I wouldn't have her do more than her vows.

    Also, I'm not a fan of "humor" at wedding ceremonies.  If you do this, save it for the reception.
  • I'm with everyone else on the 'don't do it' vote, but can you please post this 'funny reading' here?
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    holyguacamole79Marzipan13
  • OP, I'm not posting this to be contradictory or disagree with the rest of the posters just for shits and giggles, but all I can think of is who's going to stop you?

    If this funny reading is something that has meaning to you or your fiancé or both, and funny is part of your personality or the "personality" of your relationship as a couple, I say don't stifle yourself. 

    I can't tell you that it's traditional for a bride to do a reading but if that's not an issue for you, it's not like you're sacrificing a virgin up there or anything.

    Everyone gets to have and share their opinions about what they prefer to witness and experience at weddings but the thing is, you only get to be a bride on very rare occasion(s) (yes, THIS was euphemistic purposely) and I believe being the type of bride you want to be should be important. If others want their ceremony to be full of pomp and circumstance, and 110% serious, that's what they get (or got) to do when they were married. I think one's vows should be serious to some extent but if you are the type to want to have a light, fun, even funny ceremony it doesn't mean that you take your marriage any less seriously. 

    I know the "it's your day" thing goes over like a fart in church around here but seriously, you're harming absolutely no one by bringing some laughs to something, I gotta tell ya, is usually pretty boring as a spectator, even if you love the B&G. If you think reading whatever it is you want to read is going to add to your ceremony as opposed to doing something that detracts from it, enjoy yourself! 



  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    OP, I'm not posting this to be contradictory or disagree with the rest of the posters just for shits and giggles, but all I can think of is who's going to stop you?

    If this funny reading is something that has meaning to you or your fiancé or both, and funny is part of your personality or the "personality" of your relationship as a couple, I say don't stifle yourself. 

    I can't tell you that it's traditional for a bride to do a reading but if that's not an issue for you, it's not like you're sacrificing a virgin up there or anything.

    Everyone gets to have and share their opinions about what they prefer to witness and experience at weddings but the thing is, you only get to be a bride on very rare occasion(s) (yes, THIS was euphemistic purposely) and I believe being the type of bride you want to be should be important. If others want their ceremony to be full of pomp and circumstance, and 110% serious, that's what they get (or got) to do when they were married. I think one's vows should be serious to some extent but if you are the type to want to have a light, fun, even funny ceremony it doesn't mean that you take your marriage any less seriously. 

    I know the "it's your day" thing goes over like a fart in church around here but seriously, you're harming absolutely no one by bringing some laughs to something, I gotta tell ya, is usually pretty boring as a spectator, even if you love the B&G. If you think reading whatever it is you want to read is going to add to your ceremony as opposed to doing something that detracts from it, enjoy yourself! 


    Actually, there are aspects of weddings that are supposed to be solemn and serious, and the ceremony, where one purports to be mature enough to take on specific duties and obligations for one's lifetime, is one of them.  It is not the time for "lightness" or "humor."  Those should be saved for the reception.

    And like you said, "it's your day" does not go over here well.

    But then, you never read anyone else's post or take their advice...
    japrincess24
  • ElcaBElcaB
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    It's untraditional, but I don't think it's wrong. 

    Can you give us the text you'd like to read, just out of curiousity?  
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    Marzipan13
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
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    Nobody said she was harming anyone. She did ask for opinions, however.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Jen4948 said:



    OP, I'm not posting this to be contradictory or disagree with the rest of the posters just for shits and giggles, but all I can think of is who's going to stop you?

    If this funny reading is something that has meaning to you or your fiancé or both, and funny is part of your personality or the "personality" of your relationship as a couple, I say don't stifle yourself. 

    I can't tell you that it's traditional for a bride to do a reading but if that's not an issue for you, it's not like you're sacrificing a virgin up there or anything.

    Everyone gets to have and share their opinions about what they prefer to witness and experience at weddings but the thing is, you only get to be a bride on very rare occasion(s) (yes, THIS was euphemistic purposely) and I believe being the type of bride you want to be should be important. If others want their ceremony to be full of pomp and circumstance, and 110% serious, that's what they get (or got) to do when they were married. I think one's vows should be serious to some extent but if you are the type to want to have a light, fun, even funny ceremony it doesn't mean that you take your marriage any less seriously. 

    I know the "it's your day" thing goes over like a fart in church around here but seriously, you're harming absolutely no one by bringing some laughs to something, I gotta tell ya, is usually pretty boring as a spectator, even if you love the B&G. If you think reading whatever it is you want to read is going to add to your ceremony as opposed to doing something that detracts from it, enjoy yourself! 



    Actually, there are aspects of weddings that are supposed to be solemn and serious, and the ceremony, where one purports to be mature enough to take on specific duties and obligations for one's lifetime, is one of them.  It is not the time for "lightness" or "humor."  Those should be saved for the reception.

    And like you
    said, "it's your day" does not go over here well.

    But then, you never read anyone else's post
    or take their advice...



    If you think weddings are supposed to be solemn and serious, devoid of lightness and humor, the great news is when/if/the next time you get married no one is going to stop you from making sure your ceremony is just that.

    But, not everyone feels that way. It doesn't have any bearing on the future marriage or anyone else. It's strictly between the b&g and how they want their ceremony laid out.

    Yes, you're entitled to your opinion on the subject, just like everyone else. And yes, the OP asked for opinions. That doesn't mean she should receive a litany of the same responses over and over.

    Personally I'm not a huge fan of cookie cutter, same old, same old wedding ceremonies. I had one once. It was actually boring as hell and I don't remember anything that was said that day. Maybe it's from living in a self-solemization state for so long. We're not obligated to have standard ceremonies and I haven't been to a traditional ceremony in years. Or maybe it's just a basic dislike for anything too much like what everyone else does. Hard to say. But I know our personalities and there will be a ton of humor and lightness because we want it to be fun. Perhaps that's what the OP is hoping for for her own ceremony?

    As for me not reading posts, I read lots of posts. Doesn't mean I agree with all of them. And my taking advice? That's easy - I'm only open to advice when I ask for it. Unsolicited advice falls on deaf ears. Every. Last. Time.


  • AddieCake said:

    Nobody said she was harming anyone. She did ask for opinions, however.

    I didn't mean to infer anyone did. I stated that preemptively as many subjects come down to being "wrong" because they place an undue burden on guests (such as lack of seating or cash bars).

    So while everyone is entitled to their opinion of what a wedding ceremony "should" be, if the OP wants to read something humorous at her own wedding she is harming no one by doing so.

    I didn't say she didn't ask for opinions. She's received multiple opinions. Now she can take them or leave them as she chooses.

  • PDKH said:
    Planned funny usually equals awkward. The only times I've genuinely laughed during a ceremony was at an officiant's lighthearted comment or at a giggly-nervous thing that happens.

    I'd think it was super weird for the bride to do a reading. You're not there to read to everyone; you're there to make a lifelong commitment to your future spouse. 
    Oh, thank god, I honestly thought this was expected of me.  I feel so clueless  Thank goodness for TK.

    I'm with other posters, OP.  The ceremony is mature and serious.  Save the humor for the reception.  Can you make the reading into your speech after or during your dinner?
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    I also think that you should read it at the reception instead of the ceremony. 

    PrettyGirlLost
  • What kind of ceremony are you having?  If it's a religious one your officiant may not permit you (or anyone else) to do a funny reading.  Our minister required all readings and song choices to be submitted to him prior to the ceremony for approval.  He had issues in the past with reading/song choices that were simply not appropriate for a wedding.  
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  • I had never heard about readings until I came to this board.  I've never been to a wedding with one.  If you and your FH are funny people, why not?  If you both think the reading reflects your personalities and your future life together, it's up to you.  I think the ambiance of your wedding is up to you and your family; no one else.  
    Happiness is an inside job
  • Ndelible said:
    I had never heard about readings until I came to this board.  I've never been to a wedding with one.  If you and your FH are funny people, why not?  If you both think the reading reflects your personalities and your future life together, it's up to you.  I think the ambiance of your wedding is up to you and your family; no one else.  
    I had a feeling you'd like this idea.

    I'm not surprised by that.  I tend to question authority.  I tend to ask why.  I tend to look at a situation on it's merits, not someone else's idea of what should be.  If a couple wants a solemn ceremony, then I think they should have it.  If another wants to celebrate their union in a fun way, why not?  It's not my wedding.  It might not be my taste, but then again, why should it be?  Do I sit in judgement of their choices?  Maybe.  But, if they're happy, who am I to take it away from them?
    Happiness is an inside job
  • Ndelible said:
    Ndelible said:
    I had never heard about readings until I came to this board.  I've never been to a wedding with one.  If you and your FH are funny people, why not?  If you both think the reading reflects your personalities and your future life together, it's up to you.  I think the ambiance of your wedding is up to you and your family; no one else.  
    I had a feeling you'd like this idea.

    I'm not surprised by that.  I tend to question authority.  I tend to ask why.  I tend to look at a situation on it's merits, not someone else's idea of what should be.  If a couple wants a solemn ceremony, then I think they should have it.  If another wants to celebrate their union in a fun way, why not?  It's not my wedding.  It might not be my taste, but then again, why should it be?  Do I sit in judgement of their choices?  Maybe.  But, if they're happy, who am I to take it away from them?

    You should do it at your wedding!! Do it!! Do it!!!!
    Not my thing.  But if the OP decides to do it, it'll be perfect for her wedding.
    Happiness is an inside job
  • @Ndelible - In this thread:

    Mostly we have opinions here. Examples of opinions: "I don't think that a wedding is the time and place for a bride to do a reading." "I think that having a funny reading cheapens the solemnity of your vows." These are opinions, which may not be shared by all. But by posting the OP, she has opened herself to any opinions, both those that think it's a good idea and those that don't.

    I don't disagree.  She has asked for opinions and posters gave them.

    We also have some advice. Example of advice, which is based on the evidence of how many negative opinions are found here and in the posters' experience: "Looks like most people wouldn't appreciate a funny reading at your wedding. Why are you having a reading done? Is it for yourself, or for your guests to hear and appreciate? If it's for your guests, it's probably not a good idea. Keep it at the same level of seriousness that the commitment deserves."

    I agreed with you up until the highlighted.  The OP knows her guests better than we do.  And the last sentence is a judgement.  She could be from a family of comics or a very boisterous group.  They might indeed find it refreshing.

    This thread contains no generalized facts that I saw, but if it did, they would look something like this: "X faith states that silliness is not appropriate within the context of the marriage ritual. It also says that the bride is not the appropriate person to take on ceremonial roles beyond the vows." That would not be an opinion, but a statement of fact about the contents of the creed of that faith. Advice can also be given based on such facts.

    Stating any or all of the above things is not mean, or bullying, or closed-minded.

    I simply stated that she can do what she thinks it right.  I didn't say any of the other items in this thread.

    OP may need to know that a lot of her guests (based on the evidence found in the number of negative opinions here) might think, "Oh, this was such a nice ceremony until we got to that awkward trying-to-be-funny reading. A normal reading would have been so much nicer." If she cares about what her guests think and how well they will connect to the marriage ceremony they have traveled to witness, it may not be "perfect for her wedding."

    Indeed, she might come to that conclusion.  And that would be great.  Then again, she might not.  I simply said that she and her family alone can decide how they wish to conduct their ceremony.  

    And not to hijack the thread, I do apologize OP:

    Is the real problem that I went against the grain and voiced my opinion that she can do what she wants?  I don't disagree that others have a different view from mine.  But that does not make mine any less valid.  TK is not the end all be all of weddings.  It's a bunch of different experiences, ideas, thoughts, feelings and expectations.  

    It is not closed forum.  Different opinions welcomed!
    Happiness is an inside job
  • Ndelible said:
    @Ndelible - In this thread:

    Mostly we have opinions here. Examples of opinions: "I don't think that a wedding is the time and place for a bride to do a reading." "I think that having a funny reading cheapens the solemnity of your vows." These are opinions, which may not be shared by all. But by posting the OP, she has opened herself to any opinions, both those that think it's a good idea and those that don't.

    I don't disagree.  She has asked for opinions and posters gave them.

    We also have some advice. Example of advice, which is based on the evidence of how many negative opinions are found here and in the posters' experience: "Looks like most people wouldn't appreciate a funny reading at your wedding. Why are you having a reading done? Is it for yourself, or for your guests to hear and appreciate? If it's for your guests, it's probably not a good idea. Keep it at the same level of seriousness that the commitment deserves."

    I agreed with you up until the highlighted.  The OP knows her guests better than we do.  And the last sentence is a judgement.  She could be from a family of comics or a very boisterous group.  They might indeed find it refreshing.

    This thread contains no generalized facts that I saw, but if it did, they would look something like this: "X faith states that silliness is not appropriate within the context of the marriage ritual. It also says that the bride is not the appropriate person to take on ceremonial roles beyond the vows." That would not be an opinion, but a statement of fact about the contents of the creed of that faith. Advice can also be given based on such facts.

    Stating any or all of the above things is not mean, or bullying, or closed-minded.

    I simply stated that she can do what she thinks it right.  I didn't say any of the other items in this thread.

    OP may need to know that a lot of her guests (based on the evidence found in the number of negative opinions here) might think, "Oh, this was such a nice ceremony until we got to that awkward trying-to-be-funny reading. A normal reading would have been so much nicer." If she cares about what her guests think and how well they will connect to the marriage ceremony they have traveled to witness, it may not be "perfect for her wedding."

    Indeed, she might come to that conclusion.  And that would be great.  Then again, she might not.  I simply said that she and her family alone can decide how they wish to conduct their ceremony.  

    And not to hijack the thread, I do apologize OP:

    Is the real problem that I went against the grain and voiced my opinion that she can do what she wants?  I don't disagree that others have a different view from mine.  But that does not make mine any less valid.  TK is not the end all be all of weddings.  It's a bunch of different experiences, ideas, thoughts, feelings and expectations.  

    It is not closed forum.  Different opinions welcomed!
    Nope, you also offered an opinion like everyone else. That's fine. But what you are calling a judgment is actually a "judgment call" and just advice.

    My issue is not that you offer different ideas, but that you seem to want to be telling the rest of us that we cannot offer whatever advice makes sense to us, in whatever terms we see fit, because it seems "judgmental" of the situation, when it is not.
    Actually, no.  I have no issue with advice.  Sometimes, I have had issues with the way it is delivered.  When I read your first post, I had to go back and re-read what I wrote.  In this thread, what I wrote was short.  With my opinion.  At that point, I hadn't commented on anyone else's posts on this thread.  


    Happiness is an inside job
  • Ndelible said:
    Ndelible said:
    Ndelible said:
    I had never heard about readings until I came to this board.  I've never been to a wedding with one.  If you and your FH are funny people, why not?  If you both think the reading reflects your personalities and your future life together, it's up to you.  I think the ambiance of your wedding is up to you and your family; no one else.  
    I had a feeling you'd like this idea.

    I'm not surprised by that.  I tend to question authority.  I tend to ask why.  I tend to look at a situation on it's merits, not someone else's idea of what should be.  If a couple wants a solemn ceremony, then I think they should have it.  If another wants to celebrate their union in a fun way, why not?  It's not my wedding.  It might not be my taste, but then again, why should it be?  Do I sit in judgement of their choices?  Maybe.  But, if they're happy, who am I to take it away from them?

    You should do it at your wedding!! Do it!! Do it!!!!
    Not my thing.  But if the OP decides to do it, it'll be perfect for her wedding.

    How do you know if it would be perfect for her wedding? For all you know, OP could be getting married at Westminster Abbey. Is it appropriate then?
    image
  • Ndelible said:
    Ndelible said:
    Ndelible said:
    I had never heard about readings until I came to this board.  I've never been to a wedding with one.  If you and your FH are funny people, why not?  If you both think the reading reflects your personalities and your future life together, it's up to you.  I think the ambiance of your wedding is up to you and your family; no one else.  
    I had a feeling you'd like this idea.

    I'm not surprised by that.  I tend to question authority.  I tend to ask why.  I tend to look at a situation on it's merits, not someone else's idea of what should be.  If a couple wants a solemn ceremony, then I think they should have it.  If another wants to celebrate their union in a fun way, why not?  It's not my wedding.  It might not be my taste, but then again, why should it be?  Do I sit in judgement of their choices?  Maybe.  But, if they're happy, who am I to take it away from them?

    You should do it at your wedding!! Do it!! Do it!!!!
    Not my thing.  But if the OP decides to do it, it'll be perfect for her wedding.

    How do you know if it would be perfect for her wedding? For all you know, OP could be getting married at Westminster Abbey. Is it appropriate then?
    Hmmm, maybe not...  Then again, if OP is getting married at Westminster Abbey, I doubt she'd be thinking about it.  But she could.  After all, different strokes for different folks!
    Happiness is an inside job
  • Obviously what we did is going to be unpopular, but in addition to writing our own vows and having two of our siblings do readings (very short), my husband and I also each did a reading (for a total ceremony time of less than 25 minutes). We hadn't planned it that way to start, but after finding the two readings, we absolutely had to have them as part of our ceremony because they were so perfectly us. The only problem was that they were written in the first-person, and it felt so inherently wrong to have someone else read them for us or to rewrite them in third-person. I felt a little awkward at first with the idea of doing readings at our own wedding, but neither of us were willing to forgo them. We gave them to the pastor ahead of time, and he gave us the go-ahead because they felt right to him too. We had considered doing them at the reception, but both of us wanted the reception to be straight party and socializing, without too much hogging of the microphone. They also fit much better with what we wanted to say in our ceremony. It turned out that those two readings in addition to our vows were what got to everyone. Our guests came up to us after the ceremony and couldn't praise them enough. And of the whole day, reading those beautiful words and our vows was the best part of the wedding for us. I would do it again in a heartbeat. So, OP, if you've found something that you really want to read, do it. Some words just don't mean as much or aren't as funny unless they come from you. Don't choose things because you think your guests will like them. Choose the readings because they say, in a way that fits the two of you, what you want to have said at your ceremony. If you find perfect readings that you want others to read for you, do that. If it feels better to say the words yourself, do that too. The reception may be about your guests, but the ceremony is about you and your FI. People can side-eye it as much as they want. It needs to feel right to you.
    Ndelible
  • Nymeru said:
    Obviously what we did is going to be unpopular, but in addition to writing our own vows and having two of our siblings do readings (very short), my husband and I also each did a reading (for a total ceremony time of less than 25 minutes). We hadn't planned it that way to start, but after finding the two readings, we absolutely had to have them as part of our ceremony because they were so perfectly us. The only problem was that they were written in the first-person, and it felt so inherently wrong to have someone else read them for us or to rewrite them in third-person. I felt a little awkward at first with the idea of doing readings at our own wedding, but neither of us were willing to forgo them. We gave them to the pastor ahead of time, and he gave us the go-ahead because they felt right to him too. We had considered doing them at the reception, but both of us wanted the reception to be straight party and socializing, without too much hogging of the microphone. They also fit much better with what we wanted to say in our ceremony.

    It turned out that those two readings in addition to our vows were what got to everyone. Our guests came up to us after the ceremony and couldn't praise them enough. And of the whole day, reading those beautiful words and our vows was the best part of the wedding for us. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

    So, OP, if you've found something that you really want to read, do it. Some words just don't mean as much or aren't as funny unless they come from you. Don't choose things because you think your guests will like them. Choose the readings because they say, in a way that fits the two of you, what you want to have said at your ceremony. If you find perfect readings that you want others to read for you, do that. If it feels better to say the words yourself, do that too. The reception may be about your guests, but the ceremony is about you and your FI. People can side-eye it as much as they want. It needs to feel right to you.

    ETA...I swear I used paragraphs.
  • I don't like readings at all in ceremonies. It seems like someone is stuck in as a reader when the B&G feel pressured to include them somehow, but don't want the person in the BP.

    Maybe is isn't always like that, but it makes me feel that way. And it draws out the ceremony. Every reader I have ever seen, I can't remember for the life of me what they said.

    Guests are thinking "my ass is asleep" or "when do the drinks start?"


    Maggie0829jerkyanne
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