My fiancé and I have had issues with my FSIL for 10+ years (even before she met my fiance’s brother). To keep things short, I’ll just say she’s a bully and has symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Every time my fiancé and I have tried to forgive, she has gone out of her way to hurt us again within a week or two, so it’s very hard to trust her anymore that her attempts at reconciliation are genuine. It’s not just us who has problems with her, either- FMIL won’t talk to her and FSIL (my fiance’s/her husband’s sister) won’t have her over to her house.
She and my fiance’s brother were married 3 months ago. The invitation that was sent to our house only had my fiance’s name on it- not mine. Apparently she “forgot” to invite me (my fiancé ended up going to their wedding alone to be there for his brother). To cap it all off, she “fired” my fiancé as best man at her wedding and would call us at 2am demanding that we do things for her to help her with her wedding. There has been no apology for any of that so far, and for the time being we just don’t want her to be a part of our lives. Every encounter with her has been nasty and unpleasant. They are in a different state and we don’t talk, so for the most part we just pretend that she doesn’t exist. We even have her number blocked to prevent those 2am harassing calls.
Now that we’re planning our wedding, we REALLY don’t want her to be there. My mom is so upset with how FSIL has treated me that my mom said that she would beat her if she showed up- and unfortunately I know that’s not an empty threat. My fiancé called his brother before we sent out the save the dates and told him our dilemma. He understood completely how we felt and just asked that we send out the save the date cards addressed to both of them for politeness’ sake. According to him, “she probably won’t want to go anyway” and that he would guarantee that she wouldn’t come. So, we sent them out addressed to them both.
My fiance’s sister called me the other day and let me know that nightmare FSIL now is planning on coming and that she’s looking to “reconcile” (…again). My fiance’s brother has done nothing to correct the situation, and with under 5 months left I’m starting to freak out. Just having her there would make us both miserable, and if she came I’d be certain there would be a fistfight which would be a disaster.
What should I do?!? Help!!!