Registry and Gift Forum

Received Gift from Someone Not Invited

We just received a monetary gift via our honeymoon registry from someone who is not (yet?) invited to our wedding. He is someone I occasionally do business with and is the realtor who helped us find and purchase our home earlier this year. I have a thank you note written to him, and realized I don't have his address because, duh, he's not on the invite list. 
He's not somebody that was a must-invite, obviously, but now I'm wondering if we should include him (invitations are going out next week) and how to tactfully ask for his address, whether it's for just the thank you card or the card AND an invitation. 

Re: Received Gift from Someone Not Invited

  • We just received a monetary gift via our honeymoon registry from someone who is not (yet?) invited to our wedding. He is someone I occasionally do business with and is the realtor who helped us find and purchase our home earlier this year. I have a thank you note written to him, and realized I don't have his address because, duh, he's not on the invite list. 
    He's not somebody that was a must-invite, obviously, but now I'm wondering if we should include him (invitations are going out next week) and how to tactfully ask for his address, whether it's for just the thank you card or the card AND an invitation. 
    If he was your realtor, send it to his business address. You don't need to invite him just because he sent you a gift. 

    Also, honeymoon registries are SUPER rude. It's asking for money - which is never ok. Read this thread for more info on honeymoon registries: http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/281647/thinking-of-a-honeymoon-registry/p1

    If what you want is money, have a small registry and when people ask you what you want you can say "we're saving up for the honeymoon/to buy a car/to remodel our kitchen/etc." People "get it". 
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    LondonLisachibiyuiMNVegaswandajune6
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ditto Southernbelle, as always :)

    Honeymoon registries are SUPER, SUPER tacky. There is no polite way to beg for money. I would close the registry now and just create a small boxed gift registry. Everyone will know to give you cash without an outstretched "alms for the poor to go on honeymoon" beg.

    Send him a TY note to his business address. You do not have to invite him to the wedding.


    southernbelle0915
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I often send gifts along to showers if someone I know is invited, just because I love to give gifts. It doesn't matter if I'm invited, it matters that I like the person.

    And not to beat a dead horse, but honeymoon registries are tacktackullar.
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    Anniversary
    annathy03
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Send it to his business address. You do not need to invite him. How did he know about your honeymoon registry to begin with, though?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • We ended up receiving a lot of engagement and wedding gifts from people not invited to the wedding, although they were mostly (or all?) from DH's mother's friends (her extensive social network is one of the major reasons we actually ended up having a very small wedding; couldn't afford them all). It felt awkward at first but that's apparently how her social network functions and I eventually got over it. You don't need to invite him, just send a thank you.
    Llikotdesserd
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    No, a gift does not mean you must invite him.  Just send thank you to his office.  Or look him up on whitepages.com.  I received several gifts from people we didn't invite to wedding, especially since we had a small wedding. For my business associates, I just sent thank you cards to their office. For parents friends, I was able to find most of their addresses on whitepages.com and asked my parents to get addresses for the ones I couldn't find. And if none of that works, just call him up and ask for address... there's nothing rude in that. 

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