BM shoes question

jellybeann

My BMs are all wearing Alfred Sung long dresses in barcelona (a garnet-ish color) in the dupioni fabric, with varying neckline styles. For shoes, I told them that they could wear any nude flat or pump, any height, but no open toe/sandals because it'll be December in Pittsburgh and the possibility of snow is high. One of my BMs texted me saying that she was trying to decide between two pairs of shoes to buy for the wedding. Now I feel bad because I thought that everyone would have already had those shoes and wouldn't have to get anything new on top of buying the dress. Everyone will have to travel to get to the wedding, so I'm trying to keep all costs for the BMs as low as possible. Am I reading too much into this? Maybe she just wanted new shoes?

Ndelible

One of my BMs told me that she is waiting for Fall in order to check out the new shoe styles.  I know she will pick something that she can wear again and will be all her.  She is a proud shoe whore and looking forward to getting a new pair.  I suspect she'll end up getting two or three...

chibiyui

jellybeann said:

My BMs are all wearing Alfred Sung long dresses in barcelona (a garnet-ish color) in the dupioni fabric, with varying neckline styles. For shoes, I told them that they could wear any nude flat or pump, any height, but no open toe/sandals because it'll be December in Pittsburgh and the possibility of snow is high. One of my BMs texted me saying that she was trying to decide between two pairs of shoes to buy for the wedding. Now I feel bad because I thought that everyone would have already had those shoes and wouldn't have to get anything new on top of buying the dress. Everyone will have to travel to get to the wedding, so I'm trying to keep all costs for the BMs as low as possible. Am I reading too much into this? Maybe she just wanted new shoes?

I'm going to go with probably wanted new shoes. And I wouldn't worry about it because nude pumps/flats are very rewearable. You didn't ask them to wear clear heels or day-glo-orange 7 in pumps.

But. 

I personally do not own a pair of nude closed toe pumps or flats. So, while nude is becoming as classic and versatile as a pair of black pumps, not everybody owns them. 

JCbride2015

I wouldn't worry about it-- nude is a very basic color and you made a reasonable request. Either she probably wanted new shoes, or she is buying something she'll wear again and again.

doeydo

I don't own nude close toed shoes, so yeah I would have to go buy some.  But I would buy a pair that I like and would wear again.

ElcaB

I wouldn't worry about it. If she doesn't already own a pair, there are plenty of nude shoes available for a low cost. 

atlastmrsg

Nude pumps are the best investment.  I love mine.  They elongate legs, are so versatile...there's a reason Kate Middleton wears her so much.  My Nine West ones are pretty close to done (highly recommend Nine West "Gwendle"---you can still find them!) so I'm thinking of upgrading this time around.  Other than black work pumps, probably the shoe I wear the most.

jellybeann

atlastmrsg said:

Nude pumps are the best investment.  I love mine.  They elongate legs, are so versatile...there's a reason Kate Middleton wears her so much.  My Nine West ones are pretty close to done (highly recommend Nine West "Gwendle"---you can still find them!) so I'm thinking of upgrading this time around.  Other than black work pumps, probably the shoe I wear the most.

I actually wear my nude flats or heels more than I wear my black flats/heels! I'm super pale so I feel like black is too stark to wear with most colors. 

Thanks guys for quelling my fears.

jenna8984

I asked my 2 girls if they have black or nude shoes they can wear. One said she has both and one said she has black. I said cool, black it is. And she said "No, I've really been wanting a pair of nude so let's go with that so I can buy some!" So I really wouldn't worry about her buying them, as others have said it's going to be something very versatile that she can wear again.

My sister in law brought us to DSW and said "You can get anything you want...in champagne". Um...really, they only have two champagne shoes in this entire store and they are both uncomfortable. I kept picking up nude and she kept saying it wasn't champagne enough. Ugh waste of $45 that was.

[Deleted User]

The only reason I own nude heels is because I use to have to dress up for work. My current compay has a casual dress code so I haven't worn them in years. But if I were a BM and were asked to buy a pair of nude shoes, I wouldn't be upset, like others have said, you just get a pair you like & you'll have them in the closet for next time. It's not a bad investment. I get why you told them to get close toes shoes, I live in Cleveland so I know what you are talking about with the weather. But if one of your BM already has some that are sandle like or open toe & they are willing to take the risks with the weather, I wouldn't worry about it.

MandyMost

If you're really concerned I'd say "Either is fine with me, but don't feel pressured to buy shoes if you don't want to! If you don't already have something that fits the bill I'm sure whatever you have will be fine. No one will be looking at your feet anyway."

cowgirl8238

I agree that your request is perfectly fine and reasonable. I have been looking for an excuse to buy nude pumps for a while so that may be all she meant by that. If you are worried @mandymost has a good way to phrase it.

novella1186

I have 4 different pairs of nude shoes (2 pair of pumps and 2 pairs of flats). They all have different heel heights and details; one pair of pumps are really tall stilettos that I wear when we go out, 1 pair has shorter thicker heels and kind of a snakeskin pattern that I wear to work, etc etc. So I felt all 4 were totally necessary. 

      If I were a bridesmaid and I was told I needed to wear nude shoes, I'd go out and buy a 5th pair. Why? Because shoe shopping is fun and being in a wedding is an awesome excuse to buy yourself something new. Maybe this is what your BM thought too. Maybe this was a  fun thing for her and she was excited to buy them, especially if she was having trouble deciding. She was obviously putting a lot of thought into it, which is what I do when I'm excited to buy a new pair of shoes. 

     Also, since nude shoes are so popular, it's really easy to find an inexpensive pair. They match everything and she gets to pick them out herself, so she could definitely wear them again a million times. Don't worry about it. You did nothing wrong. It was a reasonable request and I'm sure this girl was not upset to get new shoes!