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Moms and Maids

Bridesmaid is "all about her"

My sister is my MOH, and she is very disinterested in anything to do with the wedding. I make sure I don't talk about wedding things too often, bc she gets immediately irritated if I mention anything about it or ask her opinion. It hurts my feelings, but I wonder if maybe she is having some mixed feelings about not being married yet herself. This being said, the only thing she is interested in is what she will be wearing. That is literally the ONLY thing she will discuss related to the wedding. She keeps asking what she will get to wear to "look different", since she is the MOH. She keeps saying how she wants to wear this beaded bridal sash to wear to stand out. Seriously? Am I being a jerk or is my sister being self-absorbed?

Re: Bridesmaid is "all about her"

  • GApeaches said:
    My sister is my MOH, and she is very disinterested in anything to do with the wedding. I make sure I don't talk about wedding things too often, bc she gets immediately irritated if I mention anything about it or ask her opinion. It hurts my feelings, but I wonder if maybe she is having some mixed feelings about not being married yet herself. I don't think this is a fair or logical conclusion simply based on the idea that she doesn't want to talk about your wedding... This being said, the only thing she is interested in is what she will be wearing. That is literally the ONLY thing she will discuss related to the wedding. She keeps asking what she will get to wear to "look different", since she is the MOH. She keeps saying how she wants to wear this beaded bridal sash to wear to stand out. Seriously? Am I being a jerk or is my sister being self-absorbed?
    Obviously she is not a person who likes to talk about other people's weddings, so I would stop mentioning it to her, period. Don't let this hurt your feelings or take it personally. Talk to your FI about it - he's guaranteed to share your excitement!

    As far as her attire goes... Ask her what her budget is and pick something for her to wear. If you're on board with her "standing out", you could have her wear a patterned dress:

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    A different hue:
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    a completely different color:
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    Or just some distinguishing feature (like a sash):
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Not everyone is interested in weddings. What she is wearing matters to her.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • The only thing your MOH needs to do is buy the dress you select and show up on time and sober.  She's only asking about the dress because that is her only responsibility.  She doesn't have to get into your other details.  That's what your FI and/or your wedding planner are for.

     

    My sister was my MOH and she just bought a dress, helped plan the shower, and attended the bachelorette party.  I am her MOH next year, and so far all i've done is attend a bridal dress appointment that she made when i was at home one weekend (we live a flight away from each other).  I will probably also assist with her shower and possibly attend her bachelorette party.  She's planning the wedding with my mom, and i'm not super interested in any details.  If they ask me questions, i answer them.  When she tells me what dress to buy, i'll buy it.  That's all.

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    The only thing your sister is required to think about is what she's wearing. It's nice when the MOH or close family members take an interest in the planning, but that doesn't always happen. Do you have another bm who likes to talk wedding?

                       
  • danamwdanamw member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    No sense in keeping on talking wedding around her, you will only frustrate yourself. If she keeps making it about her, just grit your teeth and smile a lot. If she comes to the wedding looking nice and acting charming, that is all that matters.
  • GApeaches: is it your choice that your sister wear something different to stand out from your other ladies? It's not mandatory for MOH to wear anything different from the other BMs unless you decide that it's what you want.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Every time I have been in a wedding the most important thing to me was what dress I was going to be wearing.  And that is because I would be shelling out the money for it and I really didn't want to wear something that I felt hideous in.  Your sister doesn't have to care about anything else because all the rest really doesn't pertain to or effect her at all.

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