Rethinking Wedding Traditions article

JCbride2015

I just read this article and thought it was very thoughtful and aligned with a lot of what we discuss on here.  There were two mentions of a charity registry/favors, but except for the last guy who advocated a Honeyfund, most of the contributors seemed really level-headed.  Look at contributions from parents as a generous gift, not some kind of birthright.  Nobody will notice if you don't give them a cake pop or a picture frame.  Feel free to shake up the "giving away" tradition and do what feels right to you.

My favorite quote was from the section of readers' tweets: "@roomfordebate @nytimes Coming from someone who DJ's weddings...Brides need to understand that the reception is about the guests not them!!!"  YES sir!

chibiyui

I think they mentioned this article over on the etiquette board.

Jezebel also had a write up on it. Comments are interesting.

JCbride2015

Oh funny, and I even commented on it! For some reason, I thought that one was a list in Brides.

CrazyCatLady3

Looks like the debate over children came up in the comments: Edward Midwest 6 hours ago 1. Bringing your small children to the wedding when the invitation explicitly asked not to. 2. Not taking your cuties out of the church when they talk loudly or cry. 3. Allowing your children onto the dance floor at the reception to jump and frolic so the adults actually dancing knock them down and become embarrassed when they cry. 4. Not having the courage to tell your mother to "change or leave" when she wears black to your wedding because she doesn't approve of your bride or groom. 5. I think registering for gifts is a great and convenient idea, especially when the couple registers at both a Target and a higher-priced store. FlagReply 9Recommend Share this comment on FacebookShare this comment on Twitter lilly Seattle WA 38 minutes ago Not inviting children FlagRecommend Share this comment on FacebookShare this comment on Twitter LP Portland, OR 39 minutes ago Not allowing children at wedding and/or reception - what kind of family gathering is that, I ask?!?

chibiyui

So, hindsight, I don't think the Jezebel article was the same in any case, it did contain this in one of the comments:

http://jezebel.com/the-dangerous-art-of-asking-for-money-as-a-wedding-gift-1610843031/all

My ex's crazy douchebag hipster friends included a not so subtle "make checks payable to..." Line at the bottom of their invite. Oh, and it was a destination wedding to a remote location with only one option for lodging (which was owned by the brides family) that was like a summer camp cabin, and we all had to pay to stay. We spent as much as we would have at a nice hotel to sleep in a room with 10 other adults. Oh, and the dress code, all white and khaki only, all the guests. So we paid for travel, shitty lodging, stupid new outfits we never wore again, and THEN we got to write them a check. The best part? Cash bar.

.....So, this is probably not going to line up time wise, but wasn't there a commenter on here who was planning something similar?

JCbride2015

chibiyui said:

So, hindsight, I don't think the Jezebel article was the same in any case, it did contain this in one of the comments:

http://jezebel.com/the-dangerous-art-of-asking-for-money-as-a-wedding-gift-1610843031/all

My ex's crazy douchebag hipster friends included a not so subtle "make checks payable to..." Line at the bottom of their invite. Oh, and it was a destination wedding to a remote location with only one option for lodging (which was owned by the brides family) that was like a summer camp cabin, and we all had to pay to stay. We spent as much as we would have at a nice hotel to sleep in a room with 10 other adults. Oh, and the dress code, all white and khaki only, all the guests. So we paid for travel, shitty lodging, stupid new outfits we never wore again, and THEN we got to write them a check. The best part? Cash bar.

.....So, this is probably not going to line up time wise, but wasn't there a commenter on here who was planning something similar?

Yeah, I remember that.  She wanted to have a wedding at a campground, but people had to pay to stay, and the guest payments would go toward her minimum for campsites or something.

theexactlee

^^Weird^^

JCbride2015

theexactlee said:

^^Weird^^

Yeah.  She got all pissy when we said, that's basically like having your guests pay for your site rental fee.  So she went to Wedding Wire and they all told her it was an awesome idea.  We tried!

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

Someone brought up being late to your own ceremony.  I think the commenters are getting rudeness mixed up with rethinking traditions and trends and it's just dissolving into a bitch-fest.