I think we were unintentionally rude

danamw

You know from one post of mine that I am a jerk?

The OP did nothing intentionally, and no one got hurt.

All this apologizing just picks at the scab. No one ever gets over anything on their own? There always has to be a conversation ? Someone is always sorry for every little thing?

Move on.

KatieinBkln

Eh, I have a hard time giving a lot of credence to anyone who "storms out" of a wedding reception. It seems like that particular couple has issues of their own. Technically you were rude to them and owe them an apology, but they still suck and if I were you I would definitely roll my eyes whenever I think about them.

I tend to agree with PPs that a verbal apology is probably the way to go here rather than a letter, but Annabelle is correct that a late/awkward apology is always better than a non-apology. You'll probably get a lot of "Oh, you silly thing, it wasn't a big deal." (Even if the person in question DID think it's a big deal.) They'll secretly be glad you said something, and it will garner much goodwill.

ashleyep

A 2 hour cocktail hour is pretty long. And you should have either done a receiving line or table visits during dinner and not waiting so long to greet your guests.

But your guests were hosted, it's a little bit rude, but certainly not the worst. I can't believe anyone would storm out, that just seems petty and childish.

MandyMost

You had a ceremony from 3-4, then cheese and crackers from 4-6....then how long did the cake cutting and dances take? And how long did dinner take before you finally got up and started greeting people? Let's say half and hour and an hour, respectively...that means people were waiting to see you from 3pm until 7:30pm. That's 4.5 hours. I don't fault people for leaving after 4.5 hours of a wedding, where most of it was spent waiting. 

Most weddings seem to be 5-6 hours total, and they flow quicker so everyone is talking and dancing and socializing the last couple hours. 

lyndausvi

What done is done Move on. If someone brings it up then off course apologize. ------------------------------------------------------------- I hope some lurkers learn from this post.

tammym1001

MandyMost said:

You had a ceremony from 3-4, then cheese and crackers from 4-6....then how long did the cake cutting and dances take? And how long did dinner take before you finally got up and started greeting people? Let's say half and hour and an hour, respectively...that means people were waiting to see you from 3pm until 7:30pm. That's 4.5 hours. I don't fault people for leaving after 4.5 hours of a wedding, where most of it was spent waiting. 

Most weddings seem to be 5-6 hours total, and they flow quicker so everyone is talking and dancing and socializing the last couple hours. 

This is what I was thinking. It sounds like it was at least 4 hours or more before you spoke to any of your guests. That was the length of my entire wedding! Of course people left in that time. That is a good amount of time to spend at a wedding and honestly, I wouldn't have waited around to talk to you after that long either. 

As for the couple who "stormed" out, how did you know they did that? Did someone tell you? Could they have been over-exaggerating? While I do think it was kind of rude of you guys to leave people waiting that long it does sound like you had refreshments so it seems weird that they would say they were starving. 

melbelleup

QueerFemme said:

PS - I noticed you said "No one seemed angry".  of course, no one will be angry to your face/on the phone, most likely.  But, I promise you, people are likely talking shit about the wedding they went to where the bride and groom had them waiting 3 and a half hours after the start of the ceremony to start the reception.


Very much this. At my brother's wedding they only had 2 cookies per person. By time the BP got there (without B and G) most of the cookies were gone. Same with the appetizers. There apps were cheese and meatballs. Needless to say, I filled up on what I could of cookies, grabbed the bride her favorite cookies (I knew because I had them at my wedding and she raved about them) and then came dinner about 30-an hour later. Dinner was meh. Nothing I would write home about (I'm a picky eater) but still ate. By time we left the wedding, I was STARVING. H and I went to steak and shake after. Did I tell my bro, heyyyy you need more food? No. I just fixed it myself by getting food after.