Case of the Mondays

beanbot2002

Dangit @cocobellaF! I wanted to tell you congratulations but I got pretty self absorbed in my post! I'm sorry!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! ETA: Thank you...I'm trying really hard not to be a defeatist. I'll try again

Blue & White

@beanbot2002 hugs!!  We are still here no matter what your crazy IRL people do too haha, because the IRL people are crazy, not us!

In other news, I attempted to work on my class today after working retail.  This is so not happening.  I'm off for the rest of the day.  Maybe tomorrow lol

[Deleted User]

@es14bw - It does help having those friends. It also helps when I just ask myself "Is it really worth it?" Not in a way that I should give into every little thing that isn't life or death to me, but just knowing what I want to fight about and what I can try and talk about. . . Honestly, it's never worth fighting about in the end. It's tough to see it that way sometimes, but I'm glad that you're going to have a good talk. Don't be scared. That's why we have SO's. To talk stuff out. They're supposed to be the easiest to talk to.

joy14bw

Thanks @EisleyJoGO - sadly it didn't work out for the better. I gave him the note I wrote Sunday night and he said thank you but that he couldn't offer me hope right now. He was just so unhappy last week and he doesn't want to go back there. (fyi he has been left in a marriage before so I know he is gun shy). He believes that wasn't me but it scared it will happen again.

I cried for the first time last night but I know this is my fault so I'm going to stick it out and give him time and space. He did take my letter with him and said he was going to take it to therapy on Monday...so hopefully with time he will remember what he loves about me.

any advise in the mean time? I'm trying really hard to stay busy.
Should I wait a few weeks and ask him out for coffee or maybe mail him another letter? Or just wait til he makes contact again (and hope he does)? Gosh I'm a hot mess.

[Deleted User]

@es14bw - I don't know exactly what was said during the argument, but women tend to get BSC sometimes. We're very unlikely to back off when we think we're right either. Hopefully he appreciates that you apologized, because some women wouldn't have. . . Maybe just give him a little space, but I don't know that weeks are necessary. Maybe hit him up after therapy and just let him know how much you miss him and want to know how it went in his appointment? Ask when he's ready to talk about it? You can give him space and wait for him if you want, but there is no reason that he has to be in control of the entire situation. You need to be able to talk to each other, even when you're extremely upset with one another. It's a two way street. You apologized, and now he needs to let himself believe you were sincere about it. That's where relationship trust comes in.

[Deleted User]

@TwoDimes - I didn't mean all women. Sorry if I offended you. I guess I just grew up around that kind of attitude. That is pretty much every woman in my family - extremely defensive. I shouldn't have made it sound so generalized.

joy14bw

Thanks @EisleyJoGo - understand what you mean. I'm not normally like that but gosh maybe its the stress these last few weeks. I just let his best friend get under my skin and I blew up.